~I Like to Write Stories~ :-)

I had fun writing and thinking about those high school days.

Its amazing what we remember of the past sometimes. I

try hard to remember the good..but I have to admit..some of

the bad memories are still there as well.. I think tho if I didn't

have some kinda crappy ones.. well I really wouldn't appreciate

the good ones. I really havent evaluated to say which kind I have

more of..I hope if I did do that it would turn out I had more of

the better.. Ive had a rough go..I believe from when I was very

small it was ordained back then..or even perhaps this whole

life cycle we are allowed to have is all set before we are born

and we are like those thingies in a pin ball machine that get

slapped back and forth against those point makers..the higher

the score the better you did, but you have to steady be hittin

them things, and keep movin.. thats the catch! :-)

My bed is too low. I am going to have to get risers for it.. If I

have to get up during the night..by the time I scoot around on

my bed..then back UP in to my chair.. if I have forgotten to

take the cushion out when I make my last potty call before bed,

I have to lift back and UP..and back..the UP is about 2 inches..

I say 2 inches..but by the time my weight gets on the edge of

the bed its pushed down even farther.. I know , I know.. Get a

lighter butt lol. ...Just that lifting back and up WILL wake me up.

I forget more times than I remember to take the cushion out..

If I take it out in the bedroom well....then I have to carry the

cushion to the potty that is the almost same height as my chair.

well that's not easy either..I don't have a lap to set stuff on..and

a huge 2 inch thick cushion that's covered in a nylon slippery

fabric..well I have tried carrying it..and its doable..but not easy,

if I was SMART enough to remember to just take it out in the bath

room.. Its sad when I have to debate how and what deliberate

course of action I have to take to do something or It will only

escalate from bad to worse, and can do that very quickly ..I

almost have to plan every move because even the smallest one

could end up in a very NOT good way!

It is raining ..and ickky..Its damp..and my stumps are flat

out yellin at me today..they feel swollen..I noticed when I pulled

up to my desk a bit ago..that the left, which is the bigger one..it

hit the keyboard tray under there. Usually it doesn't and usually

I fit ok . It rubbed on me today..I don't recall it doing that before..

They both ache cause of the weather.rain does that to them. I

would guess that arthritis has settled in, that causes that ? I can

feel the end of my leg bone..its flat. just cut off on a straight flat

across.. its a weird feeling..The tissue has gotten so soft..from

not using my stumps to walk they have gotten softer and softer.

When I raise the leg bone..you can almost see it protrude from

the top.. at least see where it is..and it can be felt right through

the fleshy tissue..well muscle I guess it is.. I honestly have to say

that this is really interesting, its very hard to describe though,

accurately plus the feelings change constantly..for me anyway.

Ive never discussed this with another amputee..I bet it would be

Intersting to find out all the different sensations we each would

have depending on what we lost or how we lost it..Be a very

interesting round table discussion I think. I would find it so. I

appreciate when I get ideas posted here or sent to me in mail.

I like knowing what others like me experience too, has to all

be totally different, but a learning experience I have to really

say is what this is..boy am I learning lol..Thank GOD I still can!

When I cant..as much as I learn of a day..hmm Id be right

back in dodo land real quick fast and in a hurry lol.. I aint

goin there neither :-)

The feelings..the sensations that go through them..How they feel

when I lay and concentrate on exactly what I am feeling..Very

seldom when I lay flat do they feel flat..usually its like they are

penetrating right through the mattress..which is odd too.. I woke

the other morning and I was so uncomfortable..and realized that

my right invisible leg..was like bent back up on the side of me..

like it was broken..I knew it was the way I was laying and my

hip was out of line or had a kink in it or something.. what I like

to do..is see how hard I can concentrate and move my toes.. lol

that is really odd.. I try to describe these feelings..and its not

easy to put into words..probably because they arent really feelings?

well if I feel I feel them..they have to be feelings then don't they?

lol..I think I need a nap.. I try to analyze my own self.. I still dont

dream I have no legs.. I am always walking.but too ..I never see

me..I see what I see..lol..A friend of mine used to see her dreams

watching herself..I dont..I guess we all dream differently..many

times I know I have the same dream over and over till I get so

sick of it..and I have NO idea why I do that..perhaps I have the

same things on my mind? lol..

Whats on my mind right now is a game plan for the rest of this

evening..and I have a pretty good idea what its gonna be..the

same as any other night..Im gonna snuggle down on that bed..

get my pillows and woolbies all tucked in..put my hand on that

clicker and my eyes will close..hmmm I wonder if Im hitting the

wrong button on the clicker..does it have a eyes shut button?

lol.. nitey nite :-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear ? luv ya..and thanks~! ~

ALways, Lois ****

Ps.. The photo here is smaller I had to reduce it..if you would like

it in the bigger size let me know..this is one in a set of four..drop

me a email to the LovelyLittleLegs@gmail.com if you want one

or two..or all of them..just write and ask..ok? :-)

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..