~I'm Honest About It~

I have run into so many down looks and bad remarks that I did

something illegal. I did and..it is true..but Im being honest

about it, I never really ever did hide it..And I know alot of people

with disabilities do the same as me.. Only thing is I was dumb

enough to get caught..So now I have to pay the consequences,

whatever they may be.. One of which I am sure of is that I will

be evicted from here...But who is really innocent and NOT done

something.. speeding..had a drink and drove, took a pen, or

something home from work..who is totally innocent here? I do

know if I have to live in a cellar with my cats and we all eat cat

food the rest of our lives I wont go back to the HELLHOME..I

wont...I refuse to go back there...

Its really a shame though even in the privacy of my own home I

cant do what I want to do.. I dont ever leave this apartment.. I

do yes.. to go to the Doctor..and I guess now I will have NO

choice but to go out again on the 12th when I have to go to

court at 8:15 in the morning.. What an UnGodly hour. Raelynn

said she will take me.. I wonder how they expected me to get

there..THEN when I do get there I have to be fingerprinted...

so once they do that I guess it means I am charged..I dont

know how any of this works..and they sure dont tell you.

Go ahead and say it.. I did this all to myself.. I have said it at

least a million times, how could I be so careless to jeopardize

everything.. I know it.. I deserve what ever is gonna happen..I

just dont know where I will possibly be able to live without HUD

tho..I cant even begin to imagine what I can find, if anything..I

worry about my boys more than me.. Donnie said I can stay

with him..but.. he has a 3 level house.. I would not be able to

access but one floor of it. that wouldnt work..

I guess this is another unplanned restart.. I really think I need to

try to sell my things.. and then I dont have to worry about having

a bunch of stuff to haul around.. I Have some antiques that I

hopefully can sell.. IF I can get hold of that antique person I met

a long time ago..I know I wouldnt get near what they are worth

but I know to make a move I have to have rent money..at least

2 months worth..

I dont handle stress very well.. I honestly dont...I literally get sick. I

have been up now since 2 am this morning cuz I cant sleep.. I

dread the 12 th so bad I actually get Sick.. Nerves can do so

much to you. I thought this was all over after a month ..I still am

amazed they could take their time like this.. I had hoped it was

all forgotten..I sure was wrong...

Well I havent eaten but a little chili that Raelynn made last nite

and I guess I should eat..I sure am NOT hungry at all.. I bet Ive

lost 20 pounds this month with this up and down stress. So its

time to hit publish..and say Nitey Nite...

Y'all take care now Y'Hear? Luv ya..and thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..