~When I Started On This Journey~

Looking at those old photographs.. makes me think back to the day that I remember really leaving to start a new life- away from what I knew.. when I was leaving home with a husband headed to another state to start that life, What if back then in 1964, had I known all that was ahead, would I have been so eager to leave the security of what I found later through all my years would be the place I would always long to go back to? If I HAD I seen the VERY rough road that I would travel.. the things I would see, endure, love, hate, cry over, that would forever change what I knew..would I have looked so eagerly to what was ahead? Makes me wonder..Would I have gone? WHAT if I hadnt, how much would my life be different.? I would just be in a different location. just gone a different road, but still ending here and how I am now.. If I had known then that lighting up that cigarette would have brought me to this place? Would I have lit it ? If I had known a lifestyle of CONSTANTLY on my feet, working, would have brought me into the pain of the arthritis I had before all this that staryed in my feet so bad I would cry when I would walk, would I have learned other occupations other than nursing or the sewing and constant use of my legs and hands.?..I dont know. I think I probably would have ended up like this..but had only taken a different route..and I like to think the route I didnt take WAS the easier one..so that I can look back at the hard one I HAD taken so I can say.."well done Lois" to myself...and guess what? I AM glad who I am...I did make it here..I mean.. was a buggar..and I have lost some parts of my body, inside and out..but, I made it and this fat lady has NOT sung that last tune yet..so.. I guess I still am looking down that road and to where its going to take me next.. I think..thats the same thought I had way back then.."where's this road going to take me"..but I took it. Now..its got to be easier..i'm RIDING the rest of this ride now, maybe taking the HARD road..prepared me for this. . I have been calling myself a big chicken because I am really scared to fly. . I am.. Well I'm very claustrophobic anyway, plus now I have this THING about my chair not being within my reach..I am VERY paranoid about that..I cant EVEN imagine not being able to reach it..And they take your chair when you fly - ..I know..I'm a big baby, and I need to get over this.. I flew all the time before.! .I used to go and see my sister in Hawaii for a month every year, I've flown many many times in even a small 1 engine plane.. I would love to take a holiday just to get away..Dawn I know would babysit the boys for me and I would LOVE to go overseas..or even out to Las Vegas. In fact I even just last week looked on line for perhaps a group or something from here that might be going..there are trips all the time I think..mainly to the casino over here on the lake..But I think a get away would do me good, its just the flying I have a problem with and I think going alone IS the main problem. Plus being an amputee now, but, I think I need to give it a try tho..I just need to figure out where I want to fly to.. :-) You know what's coming next yes? lol..yup..I AM going to FLY.. right out into that kitchen and land on some food I know is on the runway out there :-) Update on the hand, the blisters still have NOT broken thank goodness..I dread when they do...the back of my hand is deeply red..but the ball part of my thumb still has the huge red spot with the 3 blisters on it.. I am glad I only use the top side of my thumb when I type and I rest my hand on the right side of my palm. ...I still have slowed down tho..hardest part is rolling my chair and transferring with out putting my whole palm down..I will be glad when this heals..So all is ok over here,the boys have started out to the kitchen already,, I swear Dutch can read... lol.. nitey nite.. Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya & thanks.!!!.. Always, Lois****

May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...