~Was A Bad Time~

I was chatting with a friend that had some trouble with severe depression, like me, I still have it but it was alot worse in the hellhome. She told me of some of the things she experienced as I did too.. They were alot alike, yet kind of different..I think the meaning was pretty much the same as to the reason for our depressed state,,divorce, body revisions etc. We both felt alone and lost..not having any idea as to where we were- let alone going... I know I can remember many many different things.. I am very sure they happened..well as I saw them happen..the confusion especially, as to how can this be real? I dont know this..my room, or the people, the place..time..and sit and look around, trying to recognize something, any thing that will let me know what is real and what isnt, and to tell me "WHERE AM I ?" I woke up, it was dark, I see white plastic curtains around my bed, they are blowing as if in a wind...not hard just softly and I can hear the sound of the plastic.. I see things sitting by me as I sit up on my bed, nothing do I recognize..the curtain blows closely hung around my bed, and I try to see through the openings as they seem to be hung in separate panels..and open slightly as they move..Each movement I look, and see light, but nothing else...I dont know this place. I listen closely, and look at the floor, it was gray, dark, I saw nothing else around...nothing but my wheelchair pushed up against the bed, the curtain on the other side up against it. I listened closely over the sound of the plastic curtain noise for any voices..faintly I could hear mumbling but didnt under stand anything.. I sat there for a long time trying to figure out where I was and what should I do? I laid back down and start to cry, i was so afraid..I had no idea what was happening. I laid there afraid to move..or even to look I kept my eyes tightly shut as I kept crying and crying.. I listen and hear the voices getting louder..and soon they are not far away .. What should I do? I didnt understand what they were saying, it was english but sort of garbled..and faded in and out..I kept crying trying to be quiet, I had no idea who it was out there and why they were there..it sounded like a couple people talking back and forth..I couldnt make out the words.. As I laid there trying not to cry loudly I felt a hand go across my forehead, and push my hair back off my face, the hand slowly moved down my cheek, and I heard a voice say to me.."shhhh its ok Lois, we're here, you're fine, go to sleep." the hand moved again across my forehead down the other side of my face, gently tapping it..saying "SHHHH, its ok"...I stopped crying and listened, I heard the curtain move, then in a second I heard a voice say " she's ok," I went to sleep... When I woke later on.. I opened my eyes..and the curtains were still there, but not plastic like they were earlier..I looked closely and saw they were the ones that WERE in my room I saw the window..and my chair..all was there.. I sat there for a minute and scooted into my chair, pulled the curtain back and VERY slowly rolled to the door, and peeked out.. Right across the hall at the VERY same time I peeked a nurse QUICKLY pulled the door open over there and walked out VERY fast..saying "HI LOIS!!, how are ya today ?" smiled and walked down the hall.. I KNOW I looked at her as to say "HUH????" But I knew this WAS real... I looked back into my room and try to remember what I had really seen, and felt..or was it really a dream? I know at the time..it felt VERY VERY real.. All my hallucinations I can think of were very real .. I think thats what so bad..I wasnt sure which WAS the REAL REAL...lol.. I stayed in a state of confusion..and..the REAL culprit.., yes, was the horrible depression..but all the DRUGS they gave me..I think they all clashed so bad..they had NO idea how to treat my condition and were really experimenting.. The ups and downs into these episodes was not all the time, but alot. there are many I can tell you about...I laugh now thinking HOW could I think they could be real..my EX came to see me through my closet? You have ANY idea how many times I looked through that thing? lol..not when I was in my right mind..But I would SEE him come through there. I DID!! then the buggar would slip outside and wave at me from the yard while I was behind the locked door!! Now wasnt THAT mean??? Play games with an insane woman ...rotten man LOL... I have to laugh..wasnt funny then worth a CRAP!! :-) Well a few notes on what its like to be temporarily insane. hehe dont say " TEMPORARILY???" haa haa haa ..I am perfectly sane I'll have you know..REALLY.. I know my way out to that kitchen out there lol..thats where I am going I'm not hungry so I think maybe just some water..Raelynn was here today and I did call and gripe again about this chair..the arm not locking down.. This thing..I am gonna move back into my old chair I think..this one is just a pure D defective chair...it is.. ok..Im going to hit publish now so I bid you all a SANE nitey nite... :-) Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? Luv ya..& thanks.. Always, Lois**** May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...