~The Binder~

When I was just a SAK, they asked me if I wanted to get a prosthesis.. I said yes, and they started to prepare my stump for one..That photo is of what I called the Binder, what they came and fitted me for, that I had to wear all my awake hours.. I didnt when I slept I had to have some relief from it, It was not a comfortable time at all.. It was summer and hot, was very thick and rigid material..the only soft part was up in the center there that was more or less at the top inside of my stump..that was a very elastic area... It was all one piece, belt and all.. It was pulled up as high as I could get it onto my stump, then the belt put around my waist and I had to wear this all day long.. You can see how kinda thick the material is..very hot to wear.. and being a SAK back then I wore pants alot..I could stand to pull them up.not long, but long enuff that I wore them quite often.. I quit wearing them when I became a DAK..was , is, just to hard, for me anyway to wear pants or those spandex things.. I dont like THOSE at all... skirts work for me just fine lol... :-) The belt that goes around your waist was most uncomfortable.. it closed with velcro, and the cone shape that my stump was in, would try to slide off then pull on that belt where it would hit my hips..now remember,, I was VERY skinny at this time, perhaps 110 pounds... when that would try to scooch off my stump then pull that rough belt down. it was MOST uncomfortable.. then with the heat.. And.. the cone shaped part came all the way up to my groin, where that whiter elastic spot is what is next to the inside of the stump, so when I did move.. I felt it all the time..and HOT? It was awful, I didnt last long with this..not when I found out that my left leg was bad...then I decided I didnt need this EXTRA torture...I used it for quite a while. tho . I cant be sure exactly how long as I dont remember alot of my time in there as far as when it was the only time I do know is when I went IN there and when I got OUT. 1 year and 4 months.approximately I was in there. As you can see, this rotten child of mine HAD to get in on this one as well.. hes SO BAD!!! He was havin fun..!! lol. I still havent gotten my files from there.. I think it would be most interesting..specially to read the BAD BOOK lol.. where they would write down the BAD things we did , like if we swore at a nurse, or refused to eat or do a therapy,, I confided in one of the activity people ..feelings I had, only to find out she reported them into that book for all the staff to read.. We could request to read our charts or anything they had written on us at any time.. Very few were able to do that.. Well I was the youngest one there, and I found that out by accident by eaves dropping on a nurses conversation when she saw I heard her she turned green..They didnt want me to KNOW!!! When I read mine..and found out that woman wrote down what I had confided in her I was SO MAD I told her off.. and I will admit too.. that page DISAPPEARED out of that book ...and I dont care..I trusted her.. Middle of the night when I KNEW all the nurses would be in the lunch room I did a quick run around the desk a couple times.. checked the halls..made one mad dash, opened that folder, grabbed that page and ripped it out.. FLEW back to my room and took out the hidden scissors I had, we were NOT allowed scissors in our rooms, and I cut that baby into some of the smallest pieces and flushed it down the toilet.. Thats where that belonged !!! I dont care... Let them sue me for destroying it, now that I admit ripping that page out lol...Dont matter now any ways, 5 years later...lol.. But I really did that.. My heart was just pounding as I sat and cut that up..I was afraid a nurse would catch me, and if it was the wrong nurse, well I could be in real dodo..Most of the nurses really liked me..but there were a couple that I mean really avoided me cuz they KNEW I hated them, they were BAD nurses and they KNEW I knew it.. and I was just looking for things to report on them.. I did..the way they treated some of those dearies..well.. They are VERY lucky I didnt go after them and just reported it to the familys when they got there. 95% of the time the familys did remove their dearie..Some I was so scared for.. One I watched die..One I watched as she bled all over from falling face out of her chair because they didnt take the time to put a tray in front of her, One I listened to cry for help for an hour to finally go and check myself to find her laying on the floor, she had fallen out of bed and the ONE inch thick piece of foam didnt protect her face, blood everywhere... They came into our rooms one day, and zip tied all the side rails down so they could NOT be pulled up on our beds...they said it was considered restraints and they were NOT allowed to do that. Well.. I needed my one side rail or I couldnt turn over onto my side. So..yup.. I got my trusty scissors, cut that ziptie off and pulled my side rail right back up. I got in trubble for that too.. We had NO rights in there, they said we did...but were they observed? HELL no.. thats why they hated when I wasnt all drugged up... I SAW what was going on.. and I TOLD... I didnt care..wasnt right.. and I bet to this day, they are getting away with all kinds of horrible stuff.. Im not saying they are all bad..no..but its all "just for the money".. and If you dont have it..well then you get NUTHIN. Im just glad Im out of there, and I just have to keep hoping that the good nurses there will always out number the bad, to take care of the dearies I know are over there. Well that anyway is a binder the real name of it ? I have NO idea, thats the name I gave it.. I dug it out of the drawer, I thought I had kept it but I wasnt sure, Im glad now I did, It is interesting to see, many dont realize that you dont just get a leg amputated and they just fit you instantly with a leg, no, it takes quite a bit of work to get a stump ready for a prosthesis.. I never did check past this step of the procedure tho, as I really didnt care..I didnt want them.. This is me now.. I dont need them to make me feel whole again .. I still feel WHOLE..just SHORTER! ! lol... :-) I can deal with that... Time to go and see what the Deal is out in the kitchen lol..oh you knew I was gonna say that lol.. Lunch on fridays, well..its one of those guessit ones lol.. im kinda hungry and I dont know if I will wait and splurge tomorrow or make my favorite...Fries N Gravy.. Maybe tomorrow my Saturday Nite Special lol. :-) Maybe just a friday nite treat tonite :-) Nitey nite... :-) Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya..and thanks.. :-) Always, Lois **** May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...