~Bad Word~

I really appreciate those of you that have understood and

not reacted to the BAD word ILLEGAL.. I do know it was,

but I only did for medical reasons..and yes to make me feel

better.. It did improve my quality of life and made me some

times actually GLAD to be alive. None of those 15 pills I took

before EVER made me feel like that. I did risk alot, but I

never went out of my apartment, I was in the privacy of my

own home, but even that isnt safe anymore.

When the Police were here a month ago, they didnt tell me my

rights, they didnt arrest me, I got no ticket or any thing from

those 2 cops..That Brewer handed me 2 blank sheets of

paper and his card, with his number on it. thats it.. Now, WHY

would i think I was arrested? A month later I find out I guess I
am.. This just doesnt sound right..

Ive put out some calls to different friends and even contacted

my brother, none of us know a lawyer or the law.I tried calling

Penny next door but she isnt home either, shes pretty smart

when it comes to this stuff..I cant ever remember a time when

I have felt so confused and up in the air so to speak.. I hate

things hanging over my head .. gives me a headache, and

DONT say "A head like mine otta ache" either lol.. :-) I know,

I know, i have been stupid.. but this is really unfair...but I will

admit when I am wrong..and illegal is illegal..I dont think they

will ever make it a legal thing..there are too many that just

dont understand about how it works and makes you feel..they

have never tried it..and if they are not in the same condition

as the person that would need it.. yet they can judge and say

its illegal.. I think this is a major issue.. I know alot of disabled

that smoke..and I bet most of the people in here smoke.. I know

of 4 that do besides me.. I wish they would legalize it like CA

did..at least small amounts of it..thats better than nothing and

thats about all I ever had anyway at a time lol...

Ive been trying to figure out at way to start to help pack..Raelynn

brought some boxes..smaller ones to put the glassware in..I

dont know what I would do with out her.. Well I would be totally

alone.. there is alot to pack..I should really have a sale and just

have like a open house sale.. walk in and see the price tags on

everything.. and sell it.. Moving is such an expense.. I already

asked Donnie if and when moving day comes would he come

with his truck and he of course said yes. If nothing else I still know
I can stay with Donnie, and put my things in storage. The packing

is what is going to be the biggie.. thats going to take some doing.

I will try to do as much as I can..

I bet y'all will be so glad when all this drama is over hey? Well let

me tell you, not ANY GLADDER than me ... This really sucks.. I

am amazed at the affect it has had on me though.. The stress is

just unbelievable.. not eating, sleeping.. crying alot..and NONE

of it does any good..but sheesh.. what else do you do.. well Yes..I

do that too.. I DO Pray ALot..believe me do I EVER !!! I have

been in worse spots..I guess- although right now I cant think of a

one~!~ lol.. but I guess I have and I still made it through..so I have

to believe that perhaps this is for the best..that now maybe I will

find a nicer place to live that I can enjoy a garden and things like

that.. I Have to HOPE so anyway...you know me.. Im NOT a

Quitter, so until THIS fight is over..I have no choice but to fight it

and do the very best I can...

The best I can do right this minute? lol well its to find my way out

to the kitchen..I think I may make some toast with jelly and a cup of

tea.. I love tea..Ice and hot.. both.. Arizona Ice Tea in the can is

some really great tea..the best Ive had in canned anyway..Well

time to hit publish and say Nitey Nite :-)

Y'all have a good one Y'hear? Luv ya..and thanks.. :-)

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..