~BK Amputation~

These past few days thinking back to the start of all this. I

had thought about the time after my first..well 2nd I guess

really.. I count it mostly as one, I was only a SAK for 9 months.

Not really a long time. I gradually came out of the depression

as the time went by.. the 2nd amputation to above the knee

healed nicely..I had no problems with it at all.. I was very glad

since it seemed every time they touched me I got a severe

infection. In February, not sure of the date..they took the rest

of the leg to above.. I didnt like the BK amputation at all..

When I had the below knee amputation..I remember it..but

not very clearly.. I know I had a horrible time..it got infected

while the bandages were still on it, and I could NOT get it

to straighten out at all.. the knee I mean, it just would not.

If I tried to it really hurt..like the tendon or something was

not long enough for it to lay flat.. I know I was mad when

I threw away the wrong shoe of my very best favorite ones.

I was so mad, and by the time i realized it..they had already

emptied the trash..

The day I went through my shoes and slippers and threw

the right one away..I remember seeing just one shoe all

the left foot lined up in the bottom of the closet.. I thought

'well they dont take up as much room now', and it seemed

odd to see them there like that.. I remember when I threw

the left ones away, and as I picked up each shoe. kinda

just holding it for a second..then kind of with a little bit of

hesitation I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head

as i placed each one in the garbage can...That wasnt easy

to do..not for me.. I love shoes.. I still do.. I love to look at

shoes in catalogs, specially the high heeled ones.. Thats

why I didnt mind working.. I got to dress up every day ..and

wear high heels.. I loved it.. well I knew I was gonna save

a fortune on shoes..and panty hose and socks for that

matter..

I went to the Goodwill ..back when I was a SAK, and naturally

saw a pair of shoes that I really liked, I took them up to the girl

at the counter..and I was teasing of course..so when she

started to ring it up..I said."wait.can I get just one? I only need

one.. You can keep the other for someone else" and I was

sounding all serious. That poor girl looked kinda green..and

said."no Mam, I honestly dont think we are allowed to do that"

I laffed and told her I was only kidding ..she smiled and looked

so relieved..lol . she didnt know WHAT to do lol. We all did

laugh about it though.. I let her keep the other shoe.. lol..Well

I didnt need it. I DID make sure I took the right one with me..

well the left..but the right one lol. .. sounds weird lol..

I had seriously considered getting a prosthesis, and I put the

photos here of the binder as I called it that I had to wear a few

months ago..that white thing.. I had gotten so thin because of

all of this..I went down to 99 pounds..The photo up there is the

only one I have of me as a SAK. You can see how skinny I am,

specially compared to now.. I don't think being a SAK was that

hard at all. I balanced quite nicely, I just had to hold on, but I

could stand for a little while, not real long as my left leg was not

good at all and was steadily deteriorating. I was in a chair even

before I lost my legs..they were so weak.neuropsy, and I couldn't

trust them at all. I could stand for a little while.. even after. when I

needed something off the shelf, back then I didn't sit backwards

on the toilet either..I pulled up to it..stood up and then turned.. sat

the right way, back then I wore pants. Now I don't even own a pair.

wait yes I do..I have a pair of pink silk that match a pink silk jacket.

but I havent worn them I was going to make them into a skirt.

When this started 6 years ago and I think of all that's happened,

what Ive felt..the rollercoaster of emotions and fears..and all the

worry, its been really rough. But I think of that movie I really liked

I cant think of the name of it .but Steve Martin was the dad..and

had like 4 or 5 kids..Was a hectic life.. The Gramma said.."I would

rather ride the roller coaster the thrill of the ride..rather than the
just round and round of a merry go round. I guess I must have
picked that roller coaster too..
boy this one has been a real THRILL. :-D..

Raelynn stopped by today with her client Richard, hes in a chair..a

very nice man.. He was in a head on collision..broke both arms

and legs.. He had hip replacement surgery a few months before

the accident..hes very lucky he didnt lose his left leg.. Hes doing

good, goes to the Health Trak a block or so away by the hospital

for therapy 3 times a week I think. I told Raelynn about the lamp.

she said she knew that..hers did it too..lol. she just ignored it and

pretty soon the cats stopped..well I tried moving the lamp to a

different spot..but I think that calls Dutch just like my chimer clock

does. I still cant run it.I keep trying and will push the hand gently

to where it will chime, and I dont care where he is..hes coming to

that clock.. he doesnt come running to me when I call him that

fast..he takes his sweet time.. hmmm well. NOW I know how to

get that cat hey? lol No he needs to get to know thats MINE. I
miss not hearing it.. I guess I could put in something so he cant

rub all over it. .. hes so bad..

Todays friday..Penny went to the store and got a few things for

me you know what one thing is... lol. yup..I got some blueberry

doughnuts out there..I need say nothin else other than my

Nitey Nite.. :-) you know whats next.. :-)

Y'all have a good one now, Y'hear? love ya.. and thanks hey? :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..