~The Letter~

Today is the anniversary of my below knee amputation..the

first of 3.. There will be another anniversary of the 2nd one

in about 5 weeks..in February ..about the 23rd.. I am not sure.
I know the date of this one as it was really planned because

of how serious the gangrene was in it.. my foot had turned

almost black my toes were..I know that.. they kept the foot

bandaged..every time a new black spot came out..they made

a note of it..I know I looked at it once and it just seemed to

have melted..nothing there but pain..agony..and such hurt I

wanted it GONE..

When they were getting me ready..I was scared to death, I

didn't want to go..yet the pain was so severe..I think I would

have walked there if I had to.. When I woke up fully aware

I know the first thing that I felt. was NOTHING.. no pain,

it was gone..THAT was what I first thought.. then as I sat and

looked at the empty space where my foot should have been

is when my next thought was ' what ya gonna do now'.. I was

in the hospital I am not sure how long..4, 5 days maybe.. I do

know I fell out of bed.. I woke up.. I had to go to the bathroom.

I threw the covers back..and went to stand up..and I hit the

floor..I bruised and cut my knee and hit my head on the wall.

The nurses came in asked "are you ok?" I told them.. I just

stood up..I forgot my foot was gone"..I kinda laffed but I did

not really realize it was gone..but I guess my head hadnt

accepted it at all back then anymore than it does now when I

have these phantoms..back then it didn't know at all yet..

That amputation got infected..and 4, 5 weeks later.. in Feb.

they took my leg above the knee..so my right leg was done

twice.. I don't remember alot..because of all the drugs..it

was the gangrene I guess and plus I carry staph..which means

if my body is opened for any reason..I will get an infection..I

have to have a full course of antibiotics before surgery ..and

when they took my left leg off they did that..but it still got a

bad infection for over a year I fought that..2 years..are all just

sort of blurry.. I know things that happened..but not sure when.

I know what happened today..and it did make me feel great...

well Blues letter was in the paper today. So nice..hes such a

sweet man.. we have been friends for a long time..his accent..

let me tell ya.. sometimes I have to say "Blue, slow down..I

cant understand you"..we laff, he says I am the one with the

accent lol .. its really him lol.. I had to put the newspaper clip

into 3 it was a long column in Letters to the Editor.. I was

waiting for it.. it came while my therapist was here from CMH.

Theresa got to read it..she thought it was great too.. And that

was a really nice thing of Blue to write..what a sweetie :-)

I mentioned Raelynn brought me a touch lamp..its so pretty..I

honestly thought would be a good thing..well I would say ..its about

16 inches high..perfect height of what? hmmm? yes.. a cat.!. Its

a TOUCH lamp?..my boys prowl and play at nite?.. you know how

many times that thing turned on and off last nite? lol...NOT a good

thing with kitties.!. I had to scoot around and get into my chair..

because I couldn't reach the outlet laying on my bed it was

plugged into..the bloody thing is way down in the BASEBOARD..

not the wall where most are.. So I had to go up to the wall to un

plug it.. major moves.. by the time I got it unplugged at 3:15, I

had to go to the potty of course..all that moving etc..so I was wide

awake..Make a note.. Do NOT get a TOUCH lamp if you own a

cat.. I swear..these two are too much! the clock..now the lamp..

these boys just don't let their poor mother have anything.. I WILL

have my clock back... I love that thing..rotten kids :-)

Im posting and just relaxing and going to see how much I can

watch on tv..well I may go and play some spider..I can do 2

colors..3 pretty soon...couple cookies might be nice too. It wasnt

a bad day at all really, .. I made it through it..well almost..only

about 6 more hours to go..and I plan to sleep most of them lol..

Nitey Nite.. :-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? love ya..and thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..