~Wonder If Its The Rain?~

My stumps have been aching badly for 3 days.. The phantoms have been
REALLY bad lately.. We have had nothing but rain and I am wondering
if that has alot to do with it. I think, the bone being sawed of like it is,
that the phantoms could have something to do with arthritis in there. I
am guessing...But there HAS to be a logical reason.. My mind after soon
5 yrs for my right amputation? (Jan-01) Still doesnt accept it? I thought
I was smarter than that LOL...:-) well I may be blonde butt.. . . being
blonde doesnt mean Stupid .. sexy is what it usually means :-D lol...

I lay down..on my back and think about how to describe what it really
feels like and its kind of hard, the only time I feel that they are straight
out in front like they would normally be when you lay down .. it feels
to me that they are hanging over a edge, like the side of the bed is when
I first wake up..That is usually the first thought in my head, "my legs
are straight" i think because my mind has been shut off while I slept.


When I wake though and they are out in front of me..well feels like
they are, they feel short..like there is no calf...length. in my head? I
would say perhaps a couple feet long..which I would say they were
probly what 3? from knee to bottom of foot? I never knew that
measurement..be interesting...But they do feel shorter..and under
pressure, that I am, even though laying down, pressing my feet
against something.

When I lay down at first, my stumps feel like they are bent to the side
or hanging.. Usually bent to the side, like they would be if you were
sitting up sideways with them along side your thigh. The pressure
is always there... These past few rainy days it has been constant,
enough to wake me they get to aching so much. And needless to say
its getting very old.

The pressure inside feels like it builds, and then they feel like they are
going to explode they feel so big. I rub them in downward strokes
putting a bit of pressure to try to force the ache out the ends of them.
Then gradually squeeze them working my hands down the sides,
starting as high up as I can.. I have to do this sitting up, I cant reach
them laying down. But I think that way would feel better, to ease the
phantoms, would best be done by someone else..Not to sound erotic or
anything but, just for logic sake, I would think it would, as the pressure
from sitting and bent at the hip would be eased by laying, adding to the
release of the pressure... I sound like a physical therapist.. I am sure it
would feel good no matter who did it, better than myself..but lately as
bad as they have ached I did say " IF they already weren't cut off I
would cut them off myself" which of course I never would ..but thats
how bad they have hurt lately.

Someone asked if perhaps when my stumps do ache so badly if perhaps
wrapping them would help.. I dont know if that would either I have
never done that. I should try it and see. I do have some elastic bandage
which I would guess is what they would use. Seems the logical thing..as
long as you dont wrap too tight as THAT can cause problems and really
cut off what little circulation I do have. When I had my heart bypass
remember they took a big vein out of my right leg.. so I dont know about
wrapping..but maybe a light one for more support might help..I will try
it one day.. I know I have seen a few with a white stocking on..but I dont
think it was any kind of pressure more for warmth and mine are very
warm to the touch, occasionaly they are cold but is when is cold in here.

Well thats my logic for this achyness I feel. I could have just overdone
a bit . It has been hetic past weeks.. I did nothing today but write this
and read and send a few mails... I have been so lazy. I did eat break-
fast ..and of course I am hungry now. Im sitting here thinking of what
I feel like going out there and fix..or am I just too tired.. I have some
crackers over by the bed and would mean no trip to the kitchen using
these swollen hands.. They are swollen too and thats why I think it
HAS to be the weather I have bad arthirits in them and carpal tunnel.
Always something LOL, I've had to take off a couple of my rings , and
THAT is NOT good. I wore 18 rings, or did.. 16 now :-( I dont think
its cause Im getting FAT lol. hmmmm.. THAT better not be them
cookies settled in my hands lol.. :-D what I get for eating them with
my hands maybe ... :-D just swelled them right up..teaching me
ain't it? lol...

Im gonna get crackers..no kitchen trip tonite.. :-) I'm pooped...
Y'all have a good one now y'hear? luv ya..and thanks...
Always, Lois***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...