~Over & Over~

Ever have a feeling like stuff is just repeating over and over and not really changing? I got a call this morning that Rae wont be in today...shes quite ill they said..If she is not improved the agency said they would send someone else until she can get here... I do hope she gets better soon.. Seems this is just such a repeat of all these months of care giver problems....Its really getting old... A repeat of a bad movie and dont ya hate that? specially when you have NO choice but to watch it!!! I hope I'm not going back to square one again.. Bill is doing ok.. I talked to Donnie late last nite..he got home from Wisconsin about 10 pm..He KNEW to call me, no matter what time, to let me know the up & up with his dad..Bill is such a dear man and Donnie is VERY close to him... Donnie has a pontoon boat..that he bought mainly so he & his dad could go fishing.. Its a great way to fish as you can stand and walk around etc.. Well they were going fishing one morning and the pontoon was lower than the dock and when Bill stepped he slipped and fell down.. Donnie panicked..and felt Horrible..that his dad fell...The next day his parents left to go back home ..Donnie went straight out to the dock and lowered the dock so that the NEXT time his dad went to get onboard the pontoon all he had to do was walk forward..Donnie was making SURE his dad didnt fall again....a good son... All this with Bill and his heart surgery sure has triggered some bad flashbacks that have caught me off guard.. And I have had a few other disappointments from an acquaintance...and I will be honest this girl has been quite moody and going UP and DOWN on this depressed merry go round.. and I have to say I really dont like it.. it makes me tired...and I hate being like this.. I do get lonely sometimes and feel all by myself...and I KNOW i'm not- by any means..its funny tho how little things can trigger other more emotional feelings .Sometimes my happy hides..and takes me a while to find it again..But I really LOOK..I much prefer the happy stuff... AND the GOOD news is.. no major catastrophes today.!. My boys behaved and were good little guys.. Dutch even waited until 5:30 to wake me this morning, which, I am SO used to getting woke up at that time, I was up before he started his face tapping lol.. his little face, when he looks at me when he does that, his eyes are all squinty and the look is 'OHHHHHHH I JUST LOVE YOU'...so what can a mom do? I have to just love him back lol. Lunch? well I wont go into details other than to say it was one of those kind that Dutch likes to bury, so of course I am hungry .. YESSS I ate all the tato salad..I DIDNT MAKE alot you know lol...I dont know what I am going to fix I want something..but I dont know what.. dont ya hate that? nothing sounds good.. Well them blueberry newtons do lol...as hungry as I am though I would eat the whole package. :-) no no JUST KIDDING..only HALF lol...:-) So on that note I am going to hit post and roll out to the kitchen and see what I can find..you know whats next.. nitey nite...:-) y'all have a good one now Y'hear? LUV YA>>& THANKS!!! ALways, Lois **** May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...