~The Boys, My Favorite Photo~

It snowed a bit today and I watched this cat go from window

to window chasing snow flakes..lol. Dutch actually tried to

catch them I think..They were coming down in those big white

slow ones that just lazily go to the ground..Well every time one

hit the window he would slap it.. No cars made that turn today

though while he was waving, that had to look cute to those

people. It wasn't a young couple I could see them, the woman

reached over to touch the mans arm and have him look too,

they both saw him, and both smiled..it looked almost like

the woman wanted to wave back then realized it was a cat

and it wouldn't know the difference..but then knowing Dutch..he

probly would have..lol..That photo is one of my favorites of

them..LB of course is in the back looking his sweet self..and

the boy, Dutch looking all innocent there in front lol..cute kids.

My councelor was here today, shes so sweet and just a lovely

woman, has 3 children.. I don't know what it is..but LB and

Dutch both just refuse to leave her alone.. LB is all over her

legs..rubbing then lays on her feet..she gave her keys to him

and he was rolling and laying all over those. I kept apologizing

for them, almost constantly, Dutch is just all up in her face, rubs

all over her..wont let her write..digs in her pockets.. she made

the mistake of taking out her cell phone..has a cord on it.. I had

told her before about him and the cord on my camera .. I had

to take it off or he would have pulled camera and cord to the

floor.. She realized that just as he reaches out and slaps at

the cord on her phone..she just goes ahead and puts the cell

on the floor so he can play with it. When I say Im sorry for about

the dozenth time , each time she tells me .."I LOVE IT, they

make me feel so welcome" and I mean they do..Its almost to

the point its embarrassing like these cats are telling company

"please..play with us..our mean mother ignores us" lol. THAT

is NOT true.. There is just NO way that I could ignore them..They

get up in front of me and my monitor now .every time they want

something. LB will come up and actually tap my arm and say

"mom" people HAVE heard him almost talk. lol..

In between all the harrassment by my boys, she and I talked about

just all the emotional strain this wheelchair business is putting on

me, the grant issues..the house. my hand..the floor, this 5 week

month..but mainly the fact that how it really gets to a person when

they have to steadily phone day after day to anyone that will listen

and ask for help..when you NEVER had to ever do that before.. I

tried to explain to her..that I get so mad and angry that these people

do this and make it so much harder .. and what about those that

arent as mouthy or have such a bad temper as I do,what about

them.. And also.the fact that I have to go to the doctor about my

hand and the condition its in because of not having my power

chair running and no offer of a temporary one..THAT really makes

me super mad..as bad as I HATE to go to a Dr. anyway. I did

tell her just how I felt..and she really tries to understand.. So many

really dont..and that makes it harder. All this..has made this month

really up and down one.plus a year 'YOUNGER' well. I can its was

MY birthday so.. I can say what ever I WANNA..lol. but too ..this

was the 2nd anniversary of the death of my oldest sister, Mary

Jane, she was the oldest of us 6, now 4, Rose Marie died 5

years ago..I am the youngest..then Frank, then Shirley then was

Rose, then is Kenny, then was Mary Jane.. We were all adopted

out except for Mary Jane and Kenny. They had it really rough.

My counselor suggested I get a case manager..someone that can

take some of this pressure off of me. . that I could use someone

else to help me take care of this dealings with other people to get

the things I need or if I have a problem..that they would step in

and take care of it for me.I think to mainly just to ease the stress

level.. I think its being alone..with out a husband or significant other

the dependence that they really have on each other. like maybe

not actually feeling it but the KNOWING its there..someone to share

these burdens with that helps you ..hmm well for me..'Grease my

wheels' ..help me along..a shoulder to sit by every so often and

just really WHINE..and not have to go running to my friends and

whine and pick fights with them cuz Im in a bad mood from fighting

with everyone else on the phone all day lol..Ahh this is so fun ..Let

me tell ya.. No wonder I get up at 2 O'clock in the morning. lol.. I

just need to lower the stress level again.. . plus aggravation here

on line, that sometimes to give you my favorite expression ' Just

eats my lunch' ..lol.. I mean..some things do too.. some days

Im really glad it does cuz its bad and I aint eatin it LOL .. todays

was..well..I have NO idea what it was. Dutch jumped straight up in

the air and hit the floor running from it...so ..think Im gonna eat it?

Noooo .. nope..If I cant name it.. I aint eatin it..I bet I know the

names of those cinnamon rolls out there though lol.. MINE.. I

think I could use one. I know I am not going to sleep good any

way..tomorrow is Dr. at 10:45.. I have been sitting here for 2

hours trying to think of a good excuse to NOT go too..I will be

honest..and well.. I cant think of a good enough one..If I don't

go now..well. I KNOW I have to soon..so. I might as get this

chair rolling and get THAT job done..like I tell everyone else to

do..so my turn to put up or shut up....Nitey Nite :-)

Y'all have a good one now, Y'hear ? love ya..and thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..