~That Tiny White Thing~

I was looking through my photos, which I do a lot..:-) and

I got to looking at these.. That one there is me with Nikki

and Amber, Donnies step daughters, Amber in the pink,

was here not long ago with Kelli, and had Kirsten..Does

Kirsten look like her mother... I think Nikki was 4 here and

Amber was 2.. Kelli was around somewhere..just not handy

for the photo.. My point to putting this old photo here.. well..

do you see what is in my hand? my left one there..That little white
thingie? yes.. a cigarette.. this photo was taken probly in 90...
I smoked easily 2 packs a day...
I used to run a small motel in Pasadena, Tx. this was in '77. I

am sitting out on the lawn with my ex Willie, that's his knee,

and I think this was a barbeque..Willies brother Al could fix

some wonderful ribs... I wore my hair up a lot then.. but I didn't

do it.. I went to the beauty shop at least once a week then.. I

miss that.. such a nice treat.. Again though.. do you see what

is in my hand? a cigarette...
I used to go to see my brother Kenny when he lived in

Racine, Wisconsin.. nice town.. right on the lake too.. Hes

since moved from there now.. I drove there every few weeks

to spend the week end there.. we would have a great time and

always went to their favorite bar..which was fun.. everyone knew

everyone.. kinda like Cheers. I have a drink there in front of me,

and that black case there, that's my cigarette case, and again

you see what is in my hand... this was in 83 or so..before I lost

my eye... shortly before ...
Im pretty sure Ive put this photo here before.. Willie and I had

driven from Houston to see his daughter in New Jersey.. that's his

Granddaughter, Diane.. I was working back then.. oh..and those

shoes? those were a pair of my very best favorites.. That's how I

dressed to go to work every day when I was a Marketing Support

Specialist for an Export Crating Company there.. I loved that job.

But again.. you see what I have in my hand? this was taken I think

in 71 or so.. maybe 72.. im not sure.. I wish I had taken the time to

date my photos.. I have said that so many times..

I see myself in those photos..and I think I look pretty good..happy,

and I had NO idea that little white thing that I am holding in all of

these, what it would do to me.. what it would cost me and STILL

yet may cost me... I wonder sometimes if I had known would I have

stopped? I knew back then that ciggies could 'possibly' cause cancer

yet I still smoked them.. so I wonder if I had known.. that I would lose

my 2 GORGEOUS legs, would I have quit? And I would say.. " YES"

I would have quit.. I would have quit them 30 years ago. I sometimes

wonder.. why they don't warn that this is a possible outcome.. I love

going to a restaurant, and I ASK for smoking.. I sit..and announce

LOUDLY as I roll to my table to whomever my companion is..was

Raelynn then.. She had a ciggie in her hand too.. I state to all in

there " See Raelynn your not the only goofy one taking chances of

being like me and losing your legs..look at all the smokers" and

smile and go on my way.. I did get some looks tho.. I saw one

man..look at my missing legs..look at his cigarette, and put it out.

that made me feel good.. I wish he had asked about it.. but hope

fully just seeing me was enough.. I hope so.. I will be honest I did

enjoy a cigarette.. I enjoyed smoking..every puff.. but well. it wasn't

that great to be like this now.. I would have given them up long ago

not one year before I lost them.. I quit in 2000 after I had my heart

bypass... but was too late.. both my beauties were gone by 2002..
Well anyhowways..there is me and what Im like now, and the boy,

he rides back there.but Im still kicking legs or no legs..that's the main

thing.. and some days arent so bad..some arent too very good but

well hell who doesn't have crappy days? If one person says they

don't I shall say "FIBBER"! :-)... but now.. this GORGEOUS

WEEBLE has to say " Nitey Nite" :-)

Y'all have a good one now, Y'hear? love ya.. and thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you, is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again.....