~Question Is~

Is your pain when you get phantoms, better or worse than

the pain you had before your amputations?? This was Rob's

question in the comments last nite.. Before I say anything

else, first; Rob, you have steady read this blog since day 1,

I am very grateful for you being such a dear friend, thank

you.. Now, to answer your question... :-)

The pain before was mainly concentrated in the calves of

my legs, the back muscular part, when I was not walking or

on my feet I had no pain, well no, just before they were by

passed the pain seemed to be anytime, when I was on my

feet or not. If you have ever put your hand wrong for a

time and got this real picky stingy feeling, unthawing as I

call it, that's what the pains were like, they were very

severe and constant at only certain times, A different kind

from what I feel now.. The Phantoms...

I guess they call them that because theyre invisible pain.

Some times its just cramps and a ache, mainly for me in

my feet. Some times I get this horrible stabbing feeling

like a huge needle is being jabbed into my heel.. THAT

really hurts. I find if I change positions.. sit differently,

shift my weight so to speak, that helps...

My remaining leg, the stumps, I don't know why they were

ever given that name and who ever did could NOT have been

an amputee.. Its hard enough, but to have part of your body

called a part of a tree? and the part that's the hardest to

get rid of on a tree.. To remove a stump costs almost as much

as to take the tree down.. How do I know? I had a tree service

for over 15 years.. In Texas and Indiana... But we arent trees.

I think its because our arms and legs have been labeled LIMBS.

so the residual of a limb.. is a STUMP! :-D.... anyway... back to

the comparison...

I myself think the pains now are worse, because they never stop.

Only time I don't feel something is when I am asleep, but as soon

as I am even the slightest bit awake, my first thoughts are 'how

do my stumps feel?' When I wake up and feel ok, bad word, but

normal, like I am totally ME, I just about don't know how to take

it I'm so used to always feeling something weird. I just sit and

enjoy the feeling for as long as it lasts, which I know it wont be

long till I feel the crampy feet.. or the pressure that they are

being pushed up. Its like when you try on shoes, and you have

to have pressure from the shoe, being pushed on to your foot.

That's kinda how my invisible leg part feels most of the time.

Like a pressure pushing them up against my knee.. Its weird.

When I sit, if I concentrate REALLY hard.. I can sit here and

move each toe, one by one, I feel them move. I know where

my feet are all the time.. My invisible legs have gotten shorter

though. When I sit and feel where my feet are they only reach

the top of the gray tire in front, many times I feel my feet

are on them.. My feet also feel like I am on my toes.. like tiptoe.

I cant seem to get my foot to go flat.. Whats really weird and

I have to admit to me I'm still not used to it after all these

years.. When I sit on my bed, watching TV or whatever, I feel

where my legs and feet are.. and they go right through the

bed.. when I look down, that's what it looks like anyway.. so

even my eyes are deceiving me.. :-)... it is strange though...

So Rob, yes, the pain is different and its worse yes, but its

really more bearable.. its not a pain pain ... its uncomfortable.

where if I change how I sit or what I am doing it will fix it.

Before, the only thing that fixed that pain was surgery.. I

can handle this.. sometimes not as easily as others ..but its

doable.. I hope I answered your question Rob.. :-)

I got my angel food today as was most grateful to get it. Its

only 30 dollars for over a 2 weeks supply of food.. and its

all good.. It helps me a lot.. and they deliver it which sure

means even more!.. I'm hungry so that means time to post,

eat, and OUT of this chair! This GORGEOUS WEEBLE

says "nitey nite".

Y'all have a good one, now Y'hear? love ya and THANKS!
Always, Lois ****

"God Bless You", is my prayer today.

I'm so honored to call you "friend".

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again.......