~Travis Visit~

I woke to the sound of my phone ringing at 8:45 or so.. It was

Travis calling to tell me he would be by in 45 minutes. He knows

how I am about calling first.. He just left, so he stays and we talk

maybe for an hour half or so.. Hes a really nice guy.. Hes not very

old..mid twentys.. married and has a dog.. :-) We just talk and he

makes sure all is ok here for me.. We talked about being depressed

today and I mentioned to him that no one really can SEE that in

someone.. Most, I'd say 99% of the people that know me have NO

idea that Depression IS my major problem.. And its not really that

easy to control.. I try very hard EVERY day NOT to show it.. And

most that know me even say that they had NO idea I suffered from

it so severely.. that I ALWAYS seem happy...I have to.. If I didn't,

it would be too easy to slip into those dark unhappy places that

only a person suffering from this could know or really understand..

If I let my guard down, if I let even the smallest thing get to me.. If

I dwell on unhappy for too Long..It takes me even longer to get back

to that spot or place, I guess, that I am even half way happy again..

So the smiling, happy isnt really fake.. its my way I guess of dealing

with the unhappy.. And to be truthful.. I am NOT happy that my life

has turned out this way..that I am doomed for the remainder of my

days to never walk again.. and to suffer every day, since my mind

refuses to let go..being reminded that THIS is my life..And I have

NO choice but to make the best of it...I could let go.. but I wont.. I'll

hang on till I think the saying is "its not over till the fat lady sings"
Well with my voice the way it is.. THIS GORGEOUS WEEBLE
FAT LADY aint sung and may NEVER :-)

All joking aside.. Depression is a very serious thing and that is what

I think most disabled peoples major problem is...Of course crap, ick

weather don't help! I saw the weekly forecast.. it said by Saturday

our temperatures will be in the high 80's to possible 90!! That is

why so many get sick.. Today is cold and rainy and wet and damp

and a crap day.. Very dark gloomy one..These drastic ups and

downs in the weather are the major causes of the sickies now..

I do feel a tad better today, not the greatest but I'm rollin again.. I

have no other appointments now till Friday.. when Penny comes

back..I will just relax these next couple days and watch TV.. I did

watch the BCC channel last night.. news.. Scared me .. I aint

watchin the news anymore.. :-( Even the local is not good.. There

is a young 23 year old woman missing from around here, in the

township.. Went to get her mail.. and disappeared.. What is this

world coming to.. Our planet is falling apart..Worries me a lot..

Specially all the killings... scarey..

Soup time for this scaredy cat GORGEOUS WEEBLE though..

Tomato I think.. I do have some good Progresso chicken soup..
They make the best soup..Just like homemade.. I love all their

products..specially their Italian bread crumbs.. :-) I need to lay

it down for a few.. I hope its sunny where you are.. Send some

to me please :-) Time to go.. but remember.. I shall return!


Always, Lois ****

"God Bless You" is my prayer today,

I'm honored to call you 'friend'.

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...