~~Shoes~~

I tease alot about the money I save buying shoes, or the time I had to
spend doing the tedious foot, nail care. THAT I dont miss..I think I
had the ugliest toes in the world, nails so coarse that the task of
caring for them took for ever.. and they still looked ugly. Even the
most expensive nail polish in the world didnt make those puppies
look any better at all..believe me I tried.. I NEVER wore open
toed shoes or sandal type where my toes showed..And I truthfully
do NOT miss the toes I had...

I remember that first morning that I got dressed after the below
knee amputation on my right leg. I sat there and looked at my
closet at my shoes lined up in there, and reached down for the
pair that were my favorites..I took the one..and looked at the
garbage can and rolled over to it and put my shoe into it, sat
there for a few minutes, my eyes filled with tears, as I went back
and pair by pair threw one shoe away. I looked back at the
closet..and now seeing the just one shoe of each pair sitting there,
I felt realllllllly sad, so depressed and decided that wasnt a good
day to get up.. I wasnt ready yet, I think I slept for 2 days as the
depression got hold of me again..

Two days later, I decided ok.. lets get up and dressed and do this.
So I washed and prepped and got my self washed & ready, picked
out a favorite dress. I thought be a good day to wear at least my
prettiest outfit and my favorite SHOE. I rolled to the closet and
looked at the row of one shoes there. I reached for my favorite
one, picked it up, looked at it and said to myself .."well aint THIS
just a buggar - what is wrong with THIS picture??? I laughed..
I threw away the WRONG shoe..lol.. I was SO mad, of ALL the
shoes I had THIS was my fav. and here I still had one left and the
WRONG one?!! I had to laff at myself, thinking "welll DUH, THIS
I am NOT telling ANYONE,"!! and I didnt! I wasnt lettin anyone
know I was THAT blonde!!!! :-)

When the day came after my left leg was taken, 9 months later,
I got dressed, dreading looking down at the remaing one shoes
lined up on the floor of my closet... I sat there for I dont know
how long, thinking that this had to be the hardest thing I had
to do, throw that last one shoe away that I would never have
to decide again what shoes to wear that went with what ever
I wore that day, I sat and cried, I looked down seeing no feet
below me, putting my hands on the ends of my stumps..sobbing.
wishing , that this was a dream, and not true, this wasnt me.
I wanted my legs back. . . .I wanted to be back to me , the way
I was. The nurse came by, saw me crying sittin in front of my
closet..she slowly pulled my chair back, and offered to throw
them away for me, I told her then .. "No, I CAN do this..."
One by one..I threw my shoes away. The thought of saving
money on buying shoes never entered my mind then..
I would have gladly spent a million to have even ONE foot to
put a shoe on...

I still even today, LOVE shoes... I look at all the gorgeous ones
in the catalogs and see how great they are. I loved to dress
up and wear those nice tall spike heels, to wear them to
work everyday, I liked dressing up was one of the joys to me
of working. I still dress up every day, and love looking good,
and all the money I did spend on shoes or nail care stuff , well
now I spend it on silk skirts, and the matching tops..and just
looking good, I miss the shoes..but HEY.. I'm still gorgeous
aint I? I'm just missin the matching shoes to these outfits I
wear now is all..so this works, I'm STILL me & gorgeous :-)

Had a great lunch today, cabbage, potatoes and some great
sausage..We do get some good lunches, so not much of a
snack tonite I'm not really hungry...I'll head back to email
and reply to all the guesses as to how tall I am..Jane called
just a bit ago to say she would be here about 10:30 and
she will measure me so I can let you know who won and
just how tall I am now, I'm curious to find out as well...will
be interesting.. so if you havent guessed..better hurry!!!
tick tick tick...runnin out of time, you have till post time
tomorrow then saturday I'll let you know.. :-) got some
great ideas for a coule interesting photos for the winner..

I hear the mailman so Im done here for today see ya
tomorrow... luv ya...thanks for all the sweet words sent
with your guesses...
Y'all have a good one now y'hear? :-)
Always, Lois ***