~I'm Squeaky~ :-)

Rae was here today, and my apt is squeaky clean.. and I sure

like it.. She is so nice.. I really hope she stays a long time.. She

tolerates the harassment from Dutch lol..so that automatically

makes her a good person.. She laughs at some of the stuff he

does.. He came running in to me and jumped up, put his little

feet on my arm...and squeaked at me.. he does NOT meow..like

a normal cat...he kept digging at me like hes trying to tell on

Rae..like she did something to him....lol..

I called out to her and asked if he had done something that he was

in here telling on her she laughed said no she just shooed him off

the sink as she was using bleach.. Well he came in here and sure

told on her LOL was so cute...I rolled out there and he went and did

the same thing..wanted to get back up on the sink..and I guess he

figgered he came and told Mom..well NOW he could.. I rolled up

there real fast.. and pushed him off myself and told him NO... he

looked up at me.. jumped straight up in the air..and turned and took

off running.. then sat back by the bathroom door looking at me like

"HOW could I DO that to him" lol...hes still mad at me. what a moody

child..lol.. !!! *SMILE*

I got a letter from a friend today that is really having a hard time both

health wise and with the depression.. She is a amputee as well.. I

dont know what to tell someone sometimes..as what works for me

may not for someone else.. She reads my blogs..says how I am

always so upbeat..and that I seem to be able to handle things so

much better than she can...and she asked me for advice.. She has

a lovely home..half of which she cant access which is very depressing

to her.. I told her..that perhaps since she has started a new life more

or less..one she is NOT used to..that she needs to change her home..

restart that as well...change everything..."revise" it all....

I started over totally.. new home..belongings..(some) and really a new

"revised" me... I suggested to her that may help her..to find another

place that there is NO place she cant get to...that she doesnt have to

think about the rooms upstairs..or her lovely basement...she cant get

to anymore being in a chair, that may help her to really adjust to the

revised her... She has a caregiver..but shes lonely... I told her then she

needs to find an outlet..for me.. the lonelies are really not bad at all

If I didnt have this computer.I would be a basket case I have no doubt..

but maybe she needs this..get the messengers..yahoo or msn and do

more email...start a blog...write down how she feels..gripe...or well

BITCH i told her- you want the truth..lol that REALLY helps me...

Her words.. were....

"We are 2 birds in a feather, but it seems like u except it better than I do.

I'm going to bed & bawl my head off. I feel like a good cry tonite."

Bless her heart. I SO know how she feels.. many many nights I lay there

and get to thinking that I AM by myself-well I got my loving boys.. but I

do get SO sad. I feel like I am the ONLY person in the world..that FEELS

like I do.. and LORD WHY ME... just like she does... But.. you know? I

lay there and sure I cry..and then I get mad...and I look at my computer

just blinking away over here..and I pull myself back into this chair...and

log on MSN..or Yahoo or just go to my email..and I see people on my

buddy lists that all I have to do is say "Hi"...and there is always a letter

from someone that asks how I am or is sending me a joke or something.

Am I really alone? No- I told her to try this, someone is ALWAYS home

online...

I feel so badly for her and I wish I could help her more. I try to stay
upbeat yes.. but trust me it is NOT easy.. But I find I feel really BAD
bad..when I let go and get down in those places.. so I then really HAVE
TO fight hard to get back out again... its really a daily or every few days
battle...but I find that music sure helps.. I go to some wav sites..and can
pick any kind of song i want...and I go there and listen..get all happy..
cuz I listen to the happy songs the foot tappin kind or some really great
rock and roll oldies but this is MY way of chasing these bad spots away.
Maybe will help her, we are all so different- its so hard to tell someone
else what works for me may not for them. I wish it would.I did tell her
I am only a phone call away, and not mile wise, not very far either.

I did tell her what we needed was a trip to Europe..and did she want

to go to London with me to see the Queen LOL.. I think she needs to get

away just like I do...lol.. its a nice daydream..I would love to say Ive been

to Europe It's beautiful every where.. I have been seriously considering

it.. HMMMM cant you see 2 daks invading London? lol..we might have a

fun time lol..2 weeks away..works for me !!! :-) I'll start packing NOW lol.

I hope she does ok tho... I do understand how she feels..when specially

other health issues are bothering you as well.. I Just wish I could really

do something.. and I really cant... SHE has to... THAT is the ONLY way

to do it.. I can help...and be her friend...love her... but SHE.... just like

I DO..we HAVE To do this ourselves...First.. we all need the help of

others yes...but its STILL left up to each of us....

Well its time for me to have my friday nite special and I am SO ready for

it..lol..you know what it is?? yup..my fries n gravy.. Rae got me some

taters and some gravy mix and I mean I am SO ready for my very best

favorite food lol. I am pooped no nap today...and I KNOW as soon as I

eat them I will just be out like a light.lol..but its worth it.. I better make

sure im caught up with my mail first tho huh? lol.. ok...You KNOW the

Drill...Nitey Nite...

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? LUV YA...& THANKS!!!!

ALways , Lois ****

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...