~I Kept My Promise~ :-)

As promised - here's a photo showing the ends of my shortened

legs. To be totally honest and open about it.. I think they're ugly.

I have sat quite a few times..and looked at myself in the mirror,

I still sit and look and shake my head and ask myself that question

we all ask ourselves when things go bad, "What did I do to deserve

this?" I really don't know that I have, but maybe this wasn't done to

me FOR me, but for others.. I can handle this 95% of the time..so

many cant, so maybe I'm kinda like the GORGEOUS poster

WEEBLE for amputees, to encourage and say "HEY!, get ON with

it..Shit happens". did to me.. I hate it..but well the best part is STILL

here and that's me..so maybe this was meant for others, I don't

know.. But I will tell em all to "lets get rollin, no lagging behind and

boo hooing.. not on my shift anyway .." its not acceptable.. :-)

You can see the difference in them..The left is the one that gave me the

problems and still does off and on.. its a tad red. If I do even the tiniest

of wrong things to it..or put the wrong lotion it lets me know real fast. I am

guessing that's why it has the folded end as I call it.. The left was not

prepared at all for a prosthetic leg,like the right was and I think that's

why the size and shape differences in the two. I have seen photos

of amputees and I have noticed quite a few others that have the end

folded like mine, maybe its just the way some Drs do surgery, but I had

the same Drs.

The right, I had it in that binder as I called it, for quite a while, till I just

couldn't stand it anymore because of the heat and the bloody thing

was so uncomfortable..it was tight and the slightest movement, it

would slowly slip off my stump, then the belt part that was around my

hip would dig in and pull. Plus it was so hot then and they didn't have

air conditioning at the hellhome, it was NOT good..But I think that is

a lot of the reason the right is smaller and shaped differently. I would

think the left would be since that is the one I mainly use first when I

go to transfer or move at all, that it has more muscle but it isnt.. I

just wish they could do something about the phantoms..

When they start, sometimes in just one..sometimes both at the same

time, even putting my hands on the ends doesn't tell my head that

there is nothing past my hands..I wish that would work, the phantoms

are a daily thing..for me anyway..and I just have reached a point that

I tolerate them and put up with it..telling myself that it is only for a little

while..then sometimes if I change the way I am sitting that helps a lot

too.. I get some really bad stabbing kinds, the one I hate is the stab

that goes right up into my heel..that hurts...

Nothing exciting today, in fact my phone , sadly, did not ring all day.
Penny was here and cleaned then ran and paid my water bill before

they shut it off and of course picked up my icee....these things are

addicting.. I have 2 in the freezer! for tomorrow, cuz shes not here..

ohhh and guess what she DID do? She got me 2 lottery tickets..and

I AM going to win..soon too.. I KNOW it..:-D I play 2 sets..I have

decided to play them every wed and friday..When I win, I promised

Penny she and I would take a trip to Europe, as I have to have some

one travel with me to help me.. She is REALLY hoping I win :-) So,

NOW, its just a matter of time..

Time for some food, TV and to say "Nitey Nite" love ya, and Thanks!

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..