~ I Worry~

I got my prescription for the new cream.. I put it on this morning

and it turned RED even moreso.. It burns when I put it on too.. I
hope it works.. I am so ready to get rid of it.. I looked on line to

see what I could find about this..and the main cause of this crap

is STRESS... so that probly explains why I have such a bad case

of it.. I think my middle name should be worry.. Its something that

is built in.. I have to say that it IS a bad thing ..worrying..but too it

can help to solve different problems..the more you think about

them..or worry I guess. the easier they are to solve and the faster

hopefully you can find a solution.. I KNOW I have an extremely

high worry level.. I worry about every little thing..Everyone that
knows me knows that about me.. I WORRY :-)...

Donnie used to live with my ex and I, Willie, and he worked for us..

For over a year he and Kimmie lived with us..then they got their

own place just before Kelli was born.. At one of the jobs a piece

of wood had come off a log or Something and hit Donnie in the

eye.. he had to have a patch on .. I didn't see him for a day or so

and I got worried Where was he that he hadnt come into the house

to say hello to me.. I looked out the door when I saw the dump

truck come in with a load of wood..and Donnie was driving.. He

had the patch on and I immediately ran out there all kinds of

worried as to WHAT happened to his eye!.. He saw me running

across the yard towards him and I heard him say "Ok..who told

Lois about my eye?..NOW shes gonna worry".. he said he told

everyone they were NOT To tell me cuz they ALL knew I would

worry about him..specially being his EYE!

I lost my left eye.. you did know I am blind in my left eye? yes..
I lost that eye in 84.. on a tree job.. taking out a stump.. so I was

naturally upset when I saw Donnie with that patch.. It brought

back such awful memories and worry that HE would lose his

sight like I did.. Luckily he only scratched his eye.. where for me..

that quarter inch piece of metal that went through mine tore the

lens and all off and totally shredded the eye socket..Now I only

see shadows and I can tell colors..but no focus..If I had to depend

on that eye I would be helpless.. I couldn't do much.. I wear glasses

all the time.. mainly for protection of my good eye.. that was before,

now I wear them so I can read! :-)

Rebecca came by bright and early this morning, we had a nice

visit.. shes a sweet kid.. she was headed to the dentist when she

left here.. I do NOT envy her that at ALL.. best thing I EVER did

was get dentures.. After Rebecca left it was time a short while later

for Theresa to come by from CMH..she is so sweet..and the boys,

well they pestered her SO bad.. All up in her face and laid all over

her.. they were REAL pests.. she loved the attention though she

misses the cat she had.. I can tell when she pets these two.. She

will be back in 2 weeks and is going to bring some stress reducing

exercises I can do.. She saw my hands and was really shocked at

how drastically worse they were.. She knows the stress I am in and

she thinks perhaps these exercises she has will help.. I think the

only thing that will really help is to get rid of the stressers..but well,

that's not really possible either, since most everything stresses me

out..specially things that don't turn out right or are done wrong.. I

will try them tho.. Anything to get some relief..

My sis phoned last nite too..to find out what the Dr said..she doesn't

agree that this is what I have and is worried about staph.. she knows

what I go thru with that stuff and how easily I get infections.. But she

doesn't think that psoriasis is what this is on my arms and hands..

I had to promise that if it doesn't get better in a few weeks after using

this new cream that I would go to the ER.. if I go there they will call in

a dermatologist right then.. I told her about the new heart med the

Dr said I have to start taking too.. He did hear the murmur but didn't

seem overly concerned about it.. but did give me this new script for

some tiny little white pill I have to take every day now..and he also

suggested I take an aspirin a day and to keep my nitro handy if I get

chest pains.. which..that's all the time but I ignore them.. Ive gotten

used to that.. goes with having a triple heart bypass I thought :-) I

DO know what a heart attack feels like so..these little aches I don't

pay attention to them..

So anyway.. Im getting out of this chair.. my hip is driving me nuts its

so sore..and those jerky pains that make my stump move all on its

own.. It hurt so bad one time last nite that I yelled so loud that I scared

the boys and they hid for an hour.. I don't know WHAT they thought :-)

But I am ready to change positions and I always can find at least

ONE comfy one on that bed.. Now.. If I can get those car HORNS to

stop outside I would feel a lot better.. Time for a snack and of course

my GORGEOUS WEEBLE .."Nitey Nite".. :-)

Y'all have a good one now, Y'hear? luv ya and thanks :-)

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you, is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again.....