~Re-Starts~

A long time ago when I did my first major restart on my

life I went from married and a mother to just being me.

I left everything I knew and loved dearly but in my mind,

I kept telling my self I would only be gone for a few weeks

and I would be back, even though I sold or packed up

everything I had. My sons were at their fathers for the

week end, I made a phone call to him to come and get

the boys things, that I was moving, but I would be back

in a few weeks. Which I really intended to do and just

start all over again.. I think a lot of my decision was

based on depression...and I wasn't happy with my life

at all.. I wanted a divorce, but with all the horrible things

that were happening the escape seemed to be the only

thing I could do to more or less save myself. It was the
first re-start on my life...

I was horribly unhappy in my marriage, it was NOT what I

had thought a marriage was like. I think it was because the

life style I entered into was so totally different to what I had

known. I married right out of high school while I was going

to nurses training, and moved to something very much

a different way of living..My husband was Italian..and a very

VERY close knit family. My husband was the first son, of

the first son, which made them all special. I was an out

sider and not accepted by the 'family' mainly because I

wasn't catholic and we were married the first time in a

Methodist church..We had to be married OVER again

in the catholic church or I would NEVER have heard the

end of that.. We had 2 sons.. 2 years apart.. a child was

miscarried between them.. I had totally changed from

what I had known...

When I decided to divorce my husband I moved out of the

house we were buying across the river to a small town by

the river.. I worked every day. One weekend when Mark

refused to go with his brother Richard to their dads.. I woke

up to the kitchen being totally on fire. Luckily Mark and I got

out.. I moved to an apartment and one thing after another

seemed to go wrong.. I had to have surgery, my gall bladder

removed, then I totalled out my car..a man ran a light and

broadsided my car, it was gone. The one I bought to replace

it was the one I used to make my escape that week end..

I traveled and ended up in Houston, TX, the years went by,

and I moved to Indiana in 1983 until I moved up here to this

new life in Michigan and as a amputee. The whole time I was

gone, every time I moved I mailed a letter to my ex husband

to tell him where I was and how to reach me.. I only got one

letter back, it was from his then wife, telling me to stay away.

I was adopted when I was 10 months old.. my whole life up to

when I met my real blood sister, Shirley, I wondered about my

birth mother. I wanted to know why, I didn't hate her at all.. I

just wanted my question answered.. When I met my sister she

had already died.. I didn't get to ask her.. I feel bad I didnt..but

theres nothing I can do about that now.. So when I got this

computer of course the first thing I looked up on Zaba was my

2 sons.. I only found my oldest son Richard.. But I never made

contact. Ive had this computer 5 years..

Lately I have been thinking about how I always wanted to know,

that I would have really liked to know my mother..and I got to

thinking about my sons.. I very seldom told any one about them.

It was a very private thing..and only my business.. A few chosen

ones knew.. my sister for one.. A close friend knew and has

been trying to get me to make contact and find out if the name

and phone number I had were my sons.. Finally .. Thursday I

made the call.. It was the right number and I honestly was VERY

pleased.. I talked to my daughter in law..she was so very nice.

But I have talked to both of them..The reaction is what I had

hoped it would be from one..The other needs time..but im sure

all will be just fine ..Im encouraged..and happy...

This is very much a re-start for me.. I saw a photo of Mark..and I

knew him.. I recognized him.. he looks the same as the 4 year

old boy I remember. I bet I would have known him anywhere. I

can hardly wait to see a photo of Richard. I would like them to

be a part of my life and I would like to be a part of theirs.. My

oldest son is only 5 and half hours away from me.. Mark, the

youngest is in the UK.. by London.. I had said not long ago

that I would LOVE to take a trip there, NOW I have even more

reason to go.. Maybe I will take up a collection to send this

GORGEOUS WEEBLE to meet her son...I have a lot of friends

in the UK not counting family I would love to meet.. which I

could do all that too!.. Could be a most enjoyable time there.

I will have to get over my fear of flying..and just DO IT...

Well ive gone on long enough, but I cant stand it.. I think I

am very happy :-) hungry too..and that's where im headed..

I may make some fries and gravy to celebrate :-) That

would be a double treat I got then :-) AHH life is good for

this GORGEOUS WEEBLE.. im happy..today anyway...

"Nitey Nite"...

Y'all have a good one now, Y'hear? love ya and THANKS! :-)_

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you, is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again.....