~The 2nd Amputation~

My first amputation on my right leg was in Jan, about the 11th or so.
Shortly after, during the night I woke, and went to the bathroom and
during my trip the bandage came off my bk stump. I called the nurse,
she came in..picked up the bandage off the floor and proceeded to put
it back onto my stump. Being so ill, my reflexes were slow and I did
not stop her in time. She touched it to my staples that were still in
there. I pulled it off asking for a new bandage, she grudgingly agreed
after giving me a horrible time, that she was too busy and to just
put this one back on until the day shift got there . Being a nurse my
self I knew it was already too late it had touched my incision...

As the days wore on, I could see the infection starting, and so did the
head nurse and my doctor. They tried to stop it . sadly nothing worked
by the middle of february i had a raging infection and taken to my Dr.
that informed me I would have to have another surgery to take my
leg off above the knee. Arrangements were made, and I made the
trek back to the same hospital and the surgery was done, my bk now
was a AK...

I remember laying there, trying to feel if I felt anything different from
the first time I had done this. It was again the middle of the night, as
all the anesthetic had worn off and I was only on the morphine that I
had been on since November when I broke this leg. The nurse had
come in to check on me and give me more pain medication, and of
course they wake you. After she left, I laid there trying to see if I
felt differently. All I could feel was that my stump was on something,
like a pillow, and was elevated a bit...I reached down and I could feel
the end with my hand....and there was nothing below it. and all I
had done was just rest my arm down the length of my side is how
short this stump was. What my thoughts were, I dont really know
all I do remember is . theres no pain . . . 4 days later they took me
back to the hellhome.

When they rolled me back into my room, one of the aides that was
taking me to my room said to me " Lois, we got your bed ready for
you.. and look who is waiting for you.." I looked at my bed, neatly
made, the covers turned back and laying by the pillows was Miss
Priss waiting for me.. She pushed my chair up to my bed, I scooted
forward, and held my kittie close and I swear she and I and the
sweet aides that took me back to my room all cried with me. I
curled up on my bed with Miss Priss in my arms and slept.. Life
as a sak had begun. . . . the days from then on were HELL...
the depression started then and I entered another world of
hallucinations and darkness and not recognizing even where I was.

I never know what I am going to write about until I get here. My
thoughts since starting the story of my amputations last nite I know
are depressing and sad, and very true, BUT.. keep one thought ....
I am STILL here, and I am :-D .. smiling.. I look at the clock and
see the minute hand still ticking and moving around it.. time does
NOT stop..and I am rolling with it.... and THAT is a GOOD thing.
I have many new friends that care and support me.. and without you
I could not do this.. trust me... This cannot be done alone. . .

I am feeling better although I must admit I was lazy today and did
spend alot of time watching TV. I had forgotten about QVC and HSN,
they are SO NOT good for me to watch, especially when I saw the great
leather skirts, and jackets in red, black and gold..and the jewelery,
the rings are awesome.. I wear 17 rings on my fingers now, but I bet
I can find a spot for one more lolol... :-)

Thanks for all your sweet comments .. and for spending time here with
me...means more than you know.. This time of year has many many
good and bad memories for me.. and you help me alot...I am so thankful
for all of you...

Now... Y'all have a good one y'hear? :-) luv ya... and thanks...
Always, Lois ***