~I Am SO STRESSED ~ :-(

Well this post is going to be short and probly NOT my

best.. but.. As you read you will see that I am VERY stressed

out and I have a horrible headache.. Things here have gotten

kinda not very good..in fact horribly awful..and I am very upset

but.. well I am hoping with good advice from some friends I can

get through this bad time I hope. with in a few weeks I will know

the outcome..which I am pretty sure I will NOT be happy with..

But there is nothing I can do about it. But I have a Feeling that

I WILL be moving..where? I have NO idea..but I will more than

likely NOT have a choice, so I have really seriously started to

look for a new place to live. I have put up with the crap here

for 4 years now..Ive had enough...ITs gotten out of hand and

is probly going to cost me alot...in all senses of the word...

My boy still is not doing good..which is another HUGE worry

for me.. Raelynn was here today , we are squeaky clean..and

he didnt even pester her to play string.. She was even worried.

I think he just is stressed too.. THey know..when things are up

in the air..and Im stressed.. My stump scar has been acting up

pretty bad the past week and Ive been worried..among other

things..I think hes just a very sensitive cat..All night last night he

laid on my chest..as close as he could get..LB laid at my side..

Animals are so perceptive..I hate to say I hope that is what it is

cuz i dont want him sick..but if its stress for him well I can help

him with that..and just keep him calmer..and not yell and try to

seem calmer to them.. Kids dont need to know when the

mom or dad are having trouble.. its NOT their worry..and I would

feel even worse tho if THAT was making him sick too.. I cant

win here can I? :-) I just want all this FIXED~~~~!!!

I am trying so hard not to write what I really FEEL..and to keep a

smile and say.."well Lois..dont worry be happy" its NOT working..

and I dont want to sound like a whiney poor me type either.. I

dont want to justify what I do or say on the fact that I am who I am.

a double amputee..living below poverty level in HUD housing,

health going down the tubes..on food stamps and feeling totally

picked on and harrassed by a man that KNOWS me..that I live

here but obviously doesnt care about me as a person..I am only

an apt dweller. he is doing his job.THAT comes first.. sometimes

that job has to be put aside..to be a PERSON..one that sees

and cares..and helps..NOT hurts and tries to destroy a person

all for the fact hes "DOING HIS JOB?" no ... what about the

PERSON??? CIRCUMSTANCES.. they see nothing..but their

JOB...I dont agree and I never will.. yes do your job..but see ALL

of it before you ACT on that JOB...thats what IM saying specially

knowing that JOB can destroy someone's quality of life and cost

that person EVERYTHING, their home..money everything....

I havent eaten all day and I am not even hungry.. I have such a list

of stuff to get and things to do..start packing for one..well it will be

a good time to really go thru everything tho I guess and get rid

of the junk I dont need wont it..so maybe that could be a good

thing..I do have a lot of stuff I dont need...My boy is over on the

bed waiting for me..and I think I will ;join him..My head feels like

its going to explode...So now that I have just whined and boohooed

like a big GORGEOUS weeble.. I will apologize for it..but well

this is me.. I cant be anything else but what I am. AND DAMMIT

Right is right and wrong is wrong...and I have to say so..thats

how I am... and I say...Nitey Nite ...tomorrow will be better?? :-)
LORD... I HOPE SO.... :-)

Y'all have a GOOD one PLEASE!!! LUV ya...thanks hey????

ALWAYS,,, Lois **** :-)

Ps.. Prayers are greatefully accepted :-)

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...