~Lots Done~

I got quite a bit done today, Spent most of it on the phone

or looking for info online..I know all this stuff going on here

will work out..but there are so many variables its hard to

know just exactly the right thing to do, so I've asked advice of

different friends, and see what their suggestions are.. It is

really an Issue facing me that I think many other, not only just

amputees but anyone that needs or uses other medications

to deal with their pain, depression or what ever. I myself do

NOT like taking Pills.. I haven't now for about 2 years.. I was

on about hmmm.12? 14? I really don't remember too MANY.

When I was on these medications..I honestly felt I had no

brain.. Really and I couldn't be helped but be called a BLONDE.

lol. I felt groggy, no energy, sluggish..and EVERY time..well

my Dr. was coming to me then..once a month.. and I would tell

him I feel crappy or tired or depressed his stock reply to me

was "well.lets try this drug for a while and see if it works" . and

he would write out a prescription for it..They would all clash and

I would be on such a radical..up and down..that I didn't know if

I was coming or going.was awful. I hated that feeling..I did this

for 2 years..and I got tired of it. said NO more Pills and quit

taking every one I had.. You can test me.. you wont even find a

aspirin in me now and you know what? I found out I DO have a

brain !!! I can think! I bet if I was still on all those pills I would not

be as capable with this computer.. well im still not, but..well I

KNOW what I would have been like..probly just sitting and staring

at the screen drooling. I DONT miss all those pills.. BUT now, what

works for me may not for someone else.. I could be taking a big

chance..But well.. If I can improve my quality of life..shouldn't I?

I think THAT is my main priority, and whos to say doing this did

NOT improve it.? I THINK it DID..and thats the main thing...

I seriously am going to look for a more private place to live.. This

is the 2nd time I have lived in an apt..and I honestly hate it.. I need

a more private place .. I should start playing the lottery I keep

saying ..well, LOTS say it..IF I could win the lottery I would get.....

I know what I would get...A nice place to live..doesn't have to be big,

but enough for me and 2 boys ...OR so.. :-)...well never know ..that

Prince may still find me before I end up in one of those Rocking

wheel chairs.. Still possible. I would hate to think that THAT is not

a possibility anymore.. I would feel sad..Its a day dream..

I think if we didn't have our daydreams..of things we would like to

have and we can sit back and say "one of these days I will have

that train ride" or "one of these days, I will have the kind of place I

want" or the best day dream of all is.."when I WIN THE LOTTERY" I

bet almost every person in the world that has them the people have

said that.. ALL I would need?? well a million would do nicely.. I could

buy a house..small , nice, on a lake and If I did right.I could live VERY

comfy the rest of my life.. NO worries and I think I could be VERY

happy lol. All I have to do now is PLAY..I bet everyone says that too.!.

well Im gonna go play out in the kitchen and find some food..these past

couple days have been really stressful and I can feel the toll. My boy

seems to be feeling a little better too..Raelynn was even worried about

him..She instant messaged me later and asked how he was..She felt

bad..he didn't want even play "String" lol.. She really likes him..well he

likes her too..Sometimes he pouts when she leaves..he wasn't done

playin...I think animals are very sensitive, I didn't get but a few hours

sleep last nite as this has really taken a toll on me..I don't like this

not knowing what to do state.. Good thing I know what to do in that

kitchen!!! . . . Nitey Nite.. :-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya..and thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...