~No Word~ :-(

Well today is friday, and Ive not heard a word. I cannot even

describe how I feel exactly I am so stressed at NOT knowing..

I sit here and wait and wait for the knock on the door..when

are they coming to get me or arrest me or take me to jail? I

am so scared to call..for fear it would make things worse.. I

dont have any way to reduce the stress..well call and get a

refil on an old prescription for tranquilizers that didnt work?

That fuzzed up my head?

This is the horrible part..did they not see that THIS could be

a horribly stressful thing for me? I found these cops lied..

they Intimidated me and they did NOT follow procedures..

I did NOT invite them in..I told them to get a search warrant

and come back..they said NO..one had to come in..and watch

me. They made me sign knowing I didnt have my glasses on..

i was hysterical crying..why would I have them on? I cant read

with out them... They took it upon themselves to inform my

apt manager..that they had a report..not filed..but had it..well

when he said to me You WILL be evicted once its filed..well

what was the cops idea in informing them then? for what

reason? So he could tell me and terrify me that I am going to

lose my funding and my home..benefits.?? He said they called

to tell him when he could pick up the report, well why not wait

till it was ready? When he told me this.. I went into total panic.

I will lose everything. Then they call and say wait...not ready...

The effect this has had.. and what i am hearing from so many

places that are supposedly there to help..well they hear only

one thing - what I did was illegal...nothing else.. I tried over and

over to tell the cops..I use other means for my medications..

It helps me.. and I even told them my complete history of my

heart .. and all the problems.. One of the cops even ASKED

why I lost my legs! I told him..and his next words were.."lets

go fill out this report" Different ones did not hear past that

it was ILLEGAL. And even go so far as to say I am an addict.

I am totally insulted... I AM NOT..by ANY means.

I sit here watching the clock , the minutes click by..waiting,

listening for someone out in the hall, seeing if there will be

a knock at the door.. The lunch lady came alot earlier than

what she usually did.. I almost fell out.. I got so upset..and I

was terrified to see who was at my door.. That is so unfair.

They have NO idea..what this has caused me.. a minor

stroke.. that I have NO doubt, my Dr. will verify next week..

I cannot eat for throwing up.. I cannot sleep..my mind just

is in such a turmoil... I ve NEVER been in anything like this..

ever. and today is friday..There is NO regard for how this

has affected me.. and the police do NOT care! This is so bad..

I wonder if these cops..or that fire inspector or these people

that condemn me for doing this horribly illegal act have ever

drove over the speed limit? or taken maybe something home

from work.? is that NOT illegal? yet they condemn me..saying

ILLEGAL ..I do NOT understand. and this has almost destroyed

my life..when over a year ago..I was promised this would never

happen again by the then Chief of Police when I talked to him

about this. .. yet it has.

I am so sorry to be writing about all this when I was having such

a wonderful time sharing photos and my life here..and now I

am in such a state of hurt, shock..confusion..terrified.. and am

writing about it here, I apologize..but this is part of my life now

as of this week.. I tell every thing you know :-) I did write down

almost word for word , action for action just what happened on

monday, so I have it all down. I will try to do better..and not drag

you in this with me.. but I do want to say..that all of you that have

phoned..and sent mail and messages..THANK YOU..you have

made me feel so much better..and I am so grateful that you are

there.. I can feel your tender mercies to me..and all I can really

say is.."GOD LOVE YA" I do.. nitey nite my friends..

Y'all have a good one Y'hear? luv ya..and thanks.! remember

prayers gratefully accepted.. :-)

Always.. Lois ****

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...