~Another Chris

This morning I did something I havent done in a long while..

I don't like when I do.. But.. I woke up in a really bad mood. I

was glad it was Saturday and that I didn't have to deal with

anything and I wont have to till Tuesday since Monday is a

holiday here.. I have been going over and over this ..not just

the house stuff, but my Dr as well.. I got a couple phone calls

yesterday that just added fuel to the fire so to speak.. One

from Keystone, they are sending some one named Chris..

of all names... to look over the house, which is really Lori's

job but since she wont be back until the 10th they HAVE to

have it done NOW , oh..and Lori didn't know about this before

she left.. I was/ am automatically on guard.. that doesn't make

sense.. And she said that they have to do this inspection

once a YEAR, because of the grant.. well if the house for some

reason then doesn't pass would that person lose the grant?

Also.. I havent been in here a year yet.. my rent receipt that I

had to send via fax that Que didn't send..was dated Oct.1st..

I wonder if this a way to check on Lori's work? Well she will

be here wed..at 9..Penny will be back to work wed at 9, I

have a drs appointment wed at 1.. and company coming

wed at 4.. I think Wednesday will be a busy day.. The best

part of it will be the COMPANY!! :-)

Well . I went to see my Dr on the 16 of aug..she, Julie, said she

thought I should have a home nurse and put it into my chart..note

the date... Yesterday, 31, about 5 a call from Deborah from my

insurance company.. She says "Lois..how are you? We just got

asked for authorization for you to have a home nurse..I got it just

a few minutes ago.. I don't remember who you had before.." I

said " you only JUST got this today?" the reply was YES.. Now..

WHAT is wrong with this picture? I was to have the nurse to keep

a close check on my blood pressure since my monitor was broke

and to watch with the increase of my med.. I would have thought

that was maybe URGENT? not..what 3 weeks later? I am not

very happy with my Dr. This isnt the first time.. I think to solve THIS

problem ... I need to find another one.. one more concerned.. and

it may be the nurses don't like me.. which should have NO bearing..

but..some are like that.. so maybe would be smart to change..now

while I still can... that would solve a big stress for me.. Maybe I

can find a Dr. that I would see the same one every time..

Deborah said the same thing..as to why it took my Drs office and

these referrer people to take so long to do this.. I don't think I even

need a home nurse now.. I have a monitor now.. I can take my own.

I will call and find out Tuesday. I have to get the number for the

Dr I have to see Wednesday, I am going to change it to another

day.. Earlier in the morning.. Im not good in the afternoon.. The

lady that was checking about my complaint never did call me back

either.. Oh.. and STILL no word from Chris, Kenny OR Ken.. this

is MY point!! game..set..match.. I think that's how it goes... I know

my neck is sore from watching this pathetic match between me

and them..going back and forth like they do..

I really hate when these depressions get to me.. I know I am not the

only one.. Ive talked to so many other amputees..and they get this

way too.. I guess it cant really be helped to feel this.. things just get

so out of hand and out of what seems to be the control of our lives.

Like I have nothing to say about anything.. I have to do what I am

told or I will do with out.. Ive NEVER lived like this.. I was always so

able to go and do ..and fix things.. I think we all feel this way.. that

we have just been so cut down.. and made I guess useless.. some

days that is how I really feel..useless.. like just WHAT purpose am I

serving.. am I really necessary.. and honestly sometimes I don't

like my answers.. but Im honest with my self..

I know I am the only one can fix anything.. and some times this stuff

just cant be fixed.. The Dr stuff can..this house stuff can.. the health

stuff can be improved..not fixed..that cant happen.. the damage is

done for me. I just have to roll back I guess and get it all into a place

where I can see it all and deal with it.. I know I will have to move..this

place with no maintenance ..well lets say the KIND of maintenance ..

the house wont last long.. its not in good shape at all.. I have one year

to go on this grant where I will get help.. I think I need to look for a

HUD house..and get into that.. I would be better security wise.. With

the attitude Chris has that this is his place and he can do whatever

he wants..that's not a good thing..I don't like that.. not counting how

undependable they are.. . I just have to get started on a plan of

attack and stick to it.. I need to do this while I still can..

LB is sick now.. Dutch is better, still not his happy self..I am worried

about LB tho.. he NEVER gets sick.. I cannot imagine what could

have done this.. Penny only uses water on the floor..we don't get it

dirty..and she vacuums. all the time.. I just have NO idea.. I hope

it doesn't get worse..or I will just have to find a way to get them to a

vet.. I have NO idea how..but..well maybe Becky will help me.. I cant

let them suffer..

My arm is still very sore..and the rash is itchy and red still.. the elbow

isnt swollen that I can tell.. but I still cant put any pressure or weight

on the end of it.. I really think its because I bump it so much..well my

elbows stick out like wings you know? when you use the wheels..your

elbows auto matically stick out..notice sometimes.. like a big duck..

:-) sometimes that's how I feel too! .. This GORGEOUS WEEBLE

needs to just watch TV, log off this puter..call my boys- see if they

will lay with their mom..they will.. they love me . "Nitey Nite"

Y'all have a good one now, Y'hear? love ya.. and thanks!!! :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you, is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again.....