~Im Here~

Ive not decided yet about this blog. Ive heard
from some, here and by email and phone.. When
something happens, drama or something that
really upsets me I have a hard time fighting the
blues that seem to swallow me... My worst enemy-
you probly have no idea, but my worst one is the
depression.. it can cause a lot of grief...it can put
you in a very dark place and its a fight to get out.

While I was in the hell home, my main reason for being
there so long was the depression.. Id lost everything,
my husband, my home, all my belongings were stored
somewhere that I didn't know where they were. My
only connection to reality was the Saturday visits from
my sister.. Many times I know she left there, worried
as to what would become of me or even survive..

I saw head shrinkers and ive been on anti depressants.
I was on so many drugs while they tried to stabilize me
and nothing worked.. I don't take any now although my
nurse suggested I do, but if you know me, the less pills
I have to take the better, I question all 13 I take daily,
"Do I HAVE to take them??" Of course the answer is
"YES!" If I want to survive that is... :-)

I know when I get down, I'm tired and whiney and I go
into such slumps and then, like everyone else, I question
WHY this is all happening to me...WHAT did I EVER do
to deserve this... I KNOW you've said it to yourself at
times too, I bet, specially when things don't go well...
And with all the drama this month, well I'm fighting
hard to stay calm but sometimes it doesn't work...
I admit I have a very bad temper and I get mad
very easily.. over the years Ive learned to control
it, but when I get extremely upset, I literally get
sick, down in bed throwing up, sick.. That's why I try
to avoid confrontations..

Ive received many apologies from Don, Ive forgiven him
and I think maybe he really has a better understanding
of how we, especially ME, feels... Either love ALL of me,
or don't love me at all... This GORGEOUS WEEBLE is
still undecided so until then Ill be back, when, a day or
so maybe.. Thanks to all my faithful readers, Keep well
and God Bless...

Always, Lois ****

"God Bless You" is my prayer today,
Im honored to call you 'friend'.
I pray the Lord will keep you safe,
Until I write again.... 

~They Lied~

Well, would you believe I got a call Thursday
from my doctors office telling me that Dr.
will be out to see me  on... get this... JULY 10 !!!
NOW, does that prove me right? She told
me they don't schedule very far in advance..
Well I think that's about 6 weeks ahead..  I
very politely thanked her and hung up...

That does make me mad though, all these
years they couldn't do what I ask...But NOW
after me getting so totally mad I asked to
talk to the doctor! Which I never did.. but
this goes to show you doesn't it.. These people
lie. And there are only 2 things that REALLY
will make me mad as a hornet, LIE to me or
STEAL from me...

I made it through this week, after being so
sick last weekend I had my doubts! Ive HAD
to turn on my AC.. Its gotten so hot that I just
had no choice if I wanted to breathe.. We are
sposta have storms tomorrow, I hope that guy
across the way has his roof finished.. He picked
3 of the hottest days to do that roof, a 2 story
house..

Well I'm hungry and I have calendars to make.
I usually try to be ahead but missing 4 days on
this machine, put me behind! I have to say I am
most pleased at how popular they are.. Most are
animated which you cant see that here, till you
snag them then you can see the animation...this
one isnt animated for that reason :-)
I'm still a most GORGEOUS WEEBLE and I do
hope your're having a great weekend...
Keep well and God Bless

Always, Lois ****

"God Bless You" is my prayer today,
I'm honored to call you 'friend'.
I pray the Lord will keep you safe,
Until I write again....

~ANDERSON COOPER SUCKS~

There is a program that comes on at 4 PM.
Called ANDERSON COOPER.. Handsome man..
BUT... I will NEVER watch his show again.
On June 4th he had a person named Chloe
on as a guest.. Shes a WANNABE.. and she
sat and talked about her BID or what ever
insanity name they gave it.. CRAP I SAY!!

He had a guy that was a para on there,, he
thought nothing about her wants to be a
para.. NO one said anything to her to say in
her face she was fllippin NUTS...

This WANNABE crap makes me so mad.. I
cannot and refuse to believe that this is a
justifiable  disease like cancer for instance.
I think its a way for these head shrinks to
get more money...

I wish they would have invited me there, Even
though I don't go out I most surely would go
to confront that person.. Shes not even a woman,
shes nothing... shes NUTS.. You can tell I have a
very serious problem with wannabes and if one is
reading this and you feel YOU want to confront
me? Where shall we meet? I'm game.. :-)

Well go to the ANDERSON COOPER site to back
shows of June 4, there is a video there to listen
to this nut case..  I wrote to him but you know he
wont reply.. He needs better staff if that's the
best they can come up with for guests for his
show.. Really!!

Well if you agree, great, you don't, ok.. but this
is how I feel and I aint changin that for nuthin..
My DAK life is hell and she wants a paras life?
I don't have to drag dead legs at least.. she will.
Why paras don't have their legs amputated I
don't understand, If I was a para I would...
I had a friend Michael on MIRC.. he was a para,
accident.. From his nipple line down.. He and I
discussed this many times.. he did agree with me.

Well I'm rolling down off my soapbox for today.
Bet your're really glad I wrote today hey? Well
its how I feel and I'm honest to a fault.. I say
what I think.. GORGEOUS WEEBLES all do that..
Keep well , God Bless...

Always, Lois

"God Bless You" is my prayer today.
I'm so honored to call you 'friend'.
I pray the Lord will keep you safe,
Until I write again.....

~I Was Sick~

Ive been sick.. for the past 4 days, well no, I got sick
thursday, and to sunday I was throwing up constantly.
My nurse came thursday morning, all was ok.. well I
did have an attack earlier, well ok, 2.. She said I was
ok, my bp was even surprisinly good!!

Heidi came, Fanesse is on vacation.. she left and about
maybe 2 hrs later I started, and it was non stop, all night
for the next 2 days... By sunday I was ok, still puny but
no throwing up.. 

Yesterday I felt pretty good, and you know how you are
after youve been sick, you do too much too soon and it
knocks you right back down again.. So yesterday I did
too much and today, I do feel ok, but more weak.. weaker?
Not me yet....

My doctor from Hospice comes thursday too.. I got a
call from visiting physicians monday, said "dr Hyde will
be coming tomorrow to see you".. 3 guesses what MY
reply was? I said "NO, he wont".. and proceeded with
my 2020th statement of "Give me more notice than 1 day".
Ive been telling these people this for 2, no 3 years now
and they STILL dont do it..

You KNOW they wait till the day before to make up his
schedule yes? NOT!! They make that up weeks before..
I KNOW how doctors are.. they want a schedule.. But
yet they dont call us.. the excuse? "Cuz sometimes the
schedule changes" ??? There is no cure for stupid.. Unless
I'M the stupid one that doesnt understand... I did NOT
see Dr Hyde...

Im glad I made it back, i keep saying ill do better and
sheesh, I thunk im doin worse~! Maybe best to not
say nuthin~! and just get here when I can .. hows that?
anyhoway.. Im ok.. I am still a most GORGEOUS
WEEBLE too...Keep well, and God Bless...

Always, Lois ****

   "God Bless You", is my prayer today,

  I'm so honored to call you "friend"

  I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

      until I write again.....