~Disappointed Today :-(~

Well. I am a tad disappointed today. RaeLynn did't show up. They
called and said she was sick. I hope this isn't a sign..The agency said
they had no one to send in her place either, and hopefully she will
be here friday. This is so discouraging to me. I know no one can help
being sick, but this was really bad timing. So many are sick with the
flu here all over town its amazing what I hear on the news... And is
the kids, I think some still get sent to school and they keep re-
infecting each other and their familys and thats what keeps it going.
I think thats what is happening here in the building. Penny has had
this junk twice.

Ive been griping and whining about the care I get and how all my
benefits keep getting smaller and smaller so much that I have
seriously considered moving to another state. I was born and
raised in this state and have spent most of my life in it, but I am
so discouraged that we, the disabled, are the LAST ones to be
considered in anything and how those that are ABLE BODIED
decide what is best for us or what we are allowed to have. So
much so they even go down into how many MINUTES we are
allowed for care of certain things, how do they figure this? I'm
sure we ALL take the same amount of time to do whatever it
is.. I think the minutes was for personal care, like baths etc.
Even logic tells you that is NOT possible, that we all take the
same amount of time to do the same thing ..its NOT.

What gets me are the ones that ARE getting paid to help and
provide us with things or benefits don't really want to know
just what our problems are.. They just are doing a JOB, seeing
us as just "one of many" disabled are all just disabled.. and they
dont check to see exactly what is the disability.. NO one guesses
what MY real disability is.. that I am NOT a diabetic..or that I
have a heart condition, or am blind in one eye and almost deaf
in one ear, have carpal tunnel and other internal problems..Like
that NURSE that evaluates for the Commission On Aging, what
she sees is what she goes by, or her list of stupid questions that
really have no bearing on anything..when I proceeded to tell her
some of mine she rudely told me was NOT her business??? she
did say that..well now..but she was to determine how many
hours I need help? Hmmmm...

Well anyway, I have been doing some serious searching for a
place and a state that would give me better benefits and care.
So far I have only found one...Illinois.. I have a friend there
that is also challenged, I dont like the word disabled.. I'm not,
I am able, to the best I can do, I am just challenged, seeing if
I can make it thru, and I try very hard to make it.. I'm NOT
disabled. But I sure will take on a CHALLENGE LOL.. try me.
lol...My friend is allowed the same in some things like medical.
and transportation, but she is allowed a care provider 7 days
a week 6 hrs a day. Our conditons are almost identical. She
does get a higher check but she has a retirement fund as well.
I do have a nice apartment here, but the maintence is awful
and there is always some sort of turmoil going on here. And
the location is awful. Nothing to see out our windows in any
direction, but parking lots or dumpsters. They say its a
secure building but its not. The fire alarm went off and the
firemen couldnt find our building? THAT really scared me
then when they got here sat out in the parking lot for 10
minutes before they even entered the building because
they had to make sure this was the right place.. I SAW
that myself, As I was outside waiting to see how long be-
for they got here. We are 3 blocks down the street from
them... but we have a new street we live on now...and they
got confused? hmmmm. Gives one pause for thought that
what if we WERE on fire..he said they were looking for the
smoke!!! The organization that owns this place HOPE
Network could care less..the management there says take
what you get and shut up , or move...

So I have been trying to decide what to do.. Things like this
caregiver stuff IS a major issue, as it means whether or not
I can stay in my own place. I do have a big apartment here
which is SO good for someone that is claustrophobic like I
am.. I cannot stand to be in a room with the door closed.
My family is only hour or so away, Donnie is only 10 minutes
away.. they would be hard to leave especially, but with web
cams and the way the new messengers are with voice, they
would not be that far. I have a lot to consider. I cannot
afford to make a wrong move, that could have dire results..
Decisions , decisions, decisions....always something.

Well my next decision right now is what my snack is going to
be tonite lol...and I DONT KNOW!!! can you believe THAT?
I will just have to plunder through my cupboards and see
what I can find. Maybe some nice ice cold peaches.. I dont
eat near enough fruit which I know is good for me.. and that
sounds good I keep a couple cans in the refridgerator just
in case I decide I do want some. Im not a big fruit eater ,
well unless its strawberries :-) love those things.. Hmmm
I do have some in the freezer..and I have some ice cream..
:-) ok I'm off to the kitchen ..nitey nite...

Y'all have a good one now y'hear? luv ya.. and Thanks..:-)
Always, Lois***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~Dressin~

I was asked the other day do I have a hard time to dress etc..
which of course is NOT easy.. I have to move back and forth at
least 4 times on bed..if i change in here in my bedroom.. sometimes
i will change while i sit on the potty makes it alot easier..

I only wear skirts and tops.. I dont and wont wear pants unless I
have NO choice.. If I change while i am in the bathroom I take my
skirt and top in there and while I am sitting on the potty will dress
there.. its alot easier. I just take off dirty clothes and pull skirt over
my head and down..then put on top and voila! im dressed lol.. its
alot easier.. before i back up i kinda lift up a tad and pull on hem of
skirt to smooth out underneath me then back up which kinda puts
my skirt in place.. and smooths out wrinkles.. I CANNOT stand a
wrinkle under me.. drives me nutz ..im like that fairy tale.. "The
Princess and the Pea" i can feel the slightest one and does NOT
feel good at all..

I got a new cushion that was a gel one and had pleats in the back
for the gel to expand..well was PLEATS..drove me nutz.. I dont
use it .. and was over $100.oo for it.. i dont use a cushion now at
all.. and works good for me.. but i do move around alot in my chair,
i have to as my stumps get to aching and i have to wiggle around
and plus if i dont keep a cover on a cushion they are plastic and
make me sweat or have a cloth cover on them and maks it hard to
slide accross.. with just the chair its nylon and i slide just great...
just zip and i am in or out of my chair lol..well sometimes the zip
is a little slow lol..more of a zzzzzz iiiii ppppppp lolol..

Sometimes i get dressed in the bedroom, if I forget to take my
clothes into bathroom and there is more too it in here.. its very
hard to pull it down just sitting. I pull clothes on the same way
but to pull skirt down where it belongs I have to keep leaning
side to side to pull it under me unless i slide back into chair..
which I usually am ready to go to bed and dont plan on gettin
back up for a while. the top no problem it just slides over or
if I wear a silk blouse buttons down.. I do have some skirts
that are button down that are pretty easy to put on..

When i get dressed on the bed to get my skirt under me if I
plan to stay on my bed i would go thru the side to side like
I would have to do if I was wearing pants .. which i dont just
for that reason..too hard to get on and off while you are sitting
down :-) try it.. but do NOT put feet down at all.. see how easy
it is..it sure AINT :-) but even with a skirt to get it fixed under
neath me i have to do the side to side bit ..as even tho i am on
the bed i still cant do wrinkles...:-) If i wear silk which i try to
most of the time its not too hard but i have some cotton ones
I really like and a denim one that is really cute but it buttons
down the front and is a little more to it.all the buttons ..I do
prefer silk..for the slippery of it and of course how wonderful
it looks when you wear it.. and it is warm in the winter and
so cool in the summer specially if it gets wet or damp..then it
is so cool against your skin. I have a couple of silk pieces of
material that i plan to make skirts out of.. I dont have solid
black which my sis is looking for some for me.. I have seriously
considered starting up my sewing machine if I can get into
my sewing room safely lol..its such a mess in there :-) I'll
get it straight one of these days..

I tried once to get dressed just sitting in my chair and, no no...
that was a pain in the butt.. I had alot harder time.. so much
lifting then I had to lift up to pull skirt down, where on my bed
I could just roll and on the potty just tuck under. cant do that
if i stay in my chair.. I can but hey.. I look for the EASY and
SAFEST way..and in my chair it would be too easy to fall out
as big a weeble as i am i would fall out for sure lol..and I
REFUSE to fall on the floor LOL.. ..

Well now you know how I get dressed :-) undressed? well I
dont have to tell you that just pull the stuff over my head and
off well after i lift my butt up to get skirt out lol..then i just peel
it off over my head..and quickly grab my skirt ..that always
goes on first..too hard to pull over a top...

well i guess its time to try the UNdressing and Dressing for the
night lunch was its same ugly "guess what this is" today so I
didnt eat and I am hungry.. i will make some soup i think I love
tomato soup..sometimes i put rice or elbow macaroni in it IF I
feel like fixing some..ive been just doing plain lately or my arms
poop out on me..so ive not really cooked alot lately.. which i guess
I really need to get on a better diet.. I can get my new dentures
(lower) this year they said as its 5 years i have to find out when.
I would LOVE to have some thing hard for a change instead of
all this soft stuff .. gets old..like a constant diet of baby food lol

well im off to find some mato soup..im hungry ...
Y'all have a good one now y'hear? LUV YA & THANKSSS S S
:-)
Always, Lois ***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~My Biggest Influence~

Was my Dad's birthday yesterday, he would have been 97. He died in 89 of cancer. He was a good man, very honorable and a great influence on me I realize now more than ever. I think alot of the way I am is due to him..I think I spent more time with him than I really did my mother. As we both liked the same things.. the outdoors mainly. The berry picking and fishing and just rides. All those times together my dad always told me stories of things he did or that happened... He lived his whole life in only 2 houses.. The one he was born in..and a few blocks away the one he spent the rest of his life in.with my mother. He did travel but always said he lived in the most wonderful part of the world why should he leave? He lived in the great NorthWoods of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. and I agree it IS God's country.. I love it up there and miss it alot.. . Ive written a few stories about him, 1 is on my other site that is a favorite of mine about how I got my name and what he said to me. I think and wonder why it took me till the age I am now to realize all this..And when I really needed to remember some lessons I didnt.. and now wish I had. But I guess that is all part of life. Perhaps all his "secret" lessons were really meant for me now when he perhaps knew, that this is when I would REALLY need them. To make me as strong as i am today. That "attitude" i guess you would say that he put in me, but my mother did as well... For being an adopted child.. I have to say, The influence that both my parents put in me was preparing me for this now.. My mothers determination, to do and get it done. The times we had carrots.. and the "JUST TRY THEM" that she never failed to tell me EVERY time she had them. I STILL hate carrots, ICK , yet I tried one every time..just to show her that I would try. Her cooking & sewing as well .. I can make anything and operate 5 different types of sewing machines and I do consider myself a good cook. nothing fancy but good home cookin...:-) Yet, my sister raised with me , she and I are NOTHING alike at all.. we never got along..Very little and not for very long.. we havent spoken now in 16 years pretty soon.. My sister that broke her leg, Shirley, Is my blood sister, we were not raised together and didnt meet till in our 30's.. I still am amazed at how much we are alike tho..we both are excellent sewers..and love to cook.. we both wear at least a dozen rings. and each have had a sewing business.. I find that so amazing. We both have the same sort of attitude as well.. We wont settle for less than what we know we are worth... and me? well I'm worth ALOT !!! :-) lol..and so is she...shes a great sister...Its so strange, when we get together and talk about my mother, or her mother or OUR mother.. lol...We have gotten some strange looks at times. It is raining today and what a gloomer.. Our winter has been so mild SO FAR,, everyone knows anything is still possible to hit us tho..winter is NOT over. This rain sure makes my stumps ache and the phantoms just have a field day.. I wonder if the day will ever come that I wont have them.. I am amazed sometimes at how badly they can hurt.. The icepick like stabs in my heel or the pressure of them feeling like they are being pushed shorter .. Someone told me that when the invisible legs feel like there is no leg part and feel shorter up to the amputation..that the phantoms will stop.. I know my feet always are twisted or feel like I am standing on my toes, and honestly,, I really HATE it.. That NEVER stops..there is not any time that I dont feel my feet.. I know where they are all the time. .. Well these invisible feet are going to invisibly walk over to that bed behind me and lay it down and watch tv.. I have some nice snack crackers over there I think I need to taste. :-) and QVC might have something I really need to see..It is such a good thing I dont have a credit card lol.. No - even if I did, I wouldnt just buy something.. It has to be something major I just HAD to have.. so far there has only been things I would LIKE to have, those apple chips..or steak burgers or that lovely black silk sequin top..or the black leather skirt.. *SIGH* see? good thing lol.. :-) I will just have some crackers in bed.. works ok for me :-) Y'all have a good one y'hear? luv ya.. and thanks :-) Always, Lois*** May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...

~Saturdays Are Lazy Days~

Saturdays are such lazy days...I didnt get up till 10 am.

Talk about a lazy bones.. :-) I do feel alot better today tho.

My sis called and said she wasnt coming up to see me,

but like I told her I sure didnt expect her to!!! I know she

is having a rough time getting around..I feel bad for her,

I know exactly how she feels.. I do worry about her tho as

she was diagnosed not long ago as diabetic.

When I hear of breaking a leg just reminds me of how

mine started..with mine breaking that november..didnt

take long for it to really deteriorate,..went fast..well from

November to January..about 2 months of agony that was

a really bad time and I remember some..but not alot. I

think I mainly sat in my dark room and either slept or

cried the whole time.. I was a real pain in the patooty.

They really did try to stop the pain..but when gangrene

is eating away at your foot and you watch it turn black

the pain is excruciating..Perhaps it is a good thing I

dont remember all of it...

I remember that first morning after the bk amputation,

laying there thinking.. I dont feel any pain..and trying feel

what DID I feel..and I felt like I was ALL still there and maybe

I was dreaming..that I wasnt where I really was .. till I looked

side to side and saw I wasnt at the hellhome...until I REALLY

looked..then I felt maybe I was still dreaming when I saw the

flat part where my foot should have been...but I was SO NOT

dreaming.. the foot was gone.. I dont know how long I sat there

staring at that.I think in just disbelief wondering how this could

have that this just sneaked up on me, one day I had a foot

and the next it was gone..and NEVER to come back-.was a

very sad, odd, weird sort of feeling.. so many thoughts go

thru your head.. specially . "what am I gonna do now?"

I was thinking of the rehab that I had almost from the very next

morning they made me get up and move around...the rehab at

the hellhome was to just use a walker and hop up and down

the hallway.. and sit for a little while and do arm pulls on some

weights .. and that was only for 6 weeks after surgery.. The rest

of the time I was in there I had to amuse myself if the daily bingo

didnt amuse me.. I did play once in a while and they did off and

on, have some wonderful dedicated people that came in there

to visit us or bring us things..Many clubs or people that played

music came in quite often..The activities lady did a good job

sometimes..

I had talked to a friend about how I learned to do alot of

the things that I do.. where did I learn them. well I made

up most of my own way of doing things that I felt were the

safest, and easiest to do things..Only way you can.. we

can get tips etc but I think we all have to just make our own

individual adjustments as to how we do things.. like my

sister, I can tell her different ways.. but she is built so much

different, that the way I can do something she may not be

able to.. such as sitting backwards on the potty.. I dont have

the leg thingys on the front of my chair.. so when I pull up

against something I am flush up against it.. now for her if

she has her foot thingy she wont get as close as I do..which

may mean more open area..for her to navigate.. Plus she

has no side rails by her potty. well she did I guess, till she

tore the towel rack off the wall LOL.. :-) I can just see her..

I laughed at her lol..she did too tho..and wasnt funny at the

time..but like I told her she had to look like a big mad bird

floppin all over tearing up her bathroom... LOL...

I had to show my lazy LittleBoy and you can see he is enjoying

his saturday...All 3 of us had a nice dinner, I had some frozen

ravoli and sauce and they had a can of their favorite cat food..
I am so glad Rae knows of a cheaper place to get food for

them.. I like to give them 1 can of food a day and of course

their dry food.. I never have gotten them any treats tho.. They

have never had them I guess I should get them some..they

are good kids and Dutch HAS been behaving lately *knock on

wood* lol.. I know better than to say that lol..well I guess I can

there are NO bags of powdered milk or marshmallows where

he can reach them.. Hes up in the closet on the shelf. :-)

Well I am off to watch cops.. I hope they have something interesting

I get tired of watching them arrest all these prostitutes and all the

stuff they go thru to arrest those people..I would think other stuff

like murders or drugs be more important..but its illegal so I guess

that makes it newsworthy..I have more than one channel anyways

I LOVE this cable...what a treat...We bid you good nite !

Y'all have a good one now y'hear? LUV YA!!! & thanks..

Always, Lois ***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~My New Carer Is GREAT !~

My new caregiver came today, RaeLynn, she is SO NICE~!~

And what a good job she did.. She is a very good worker..and

she lives right here in town.. She was right on time..and we

seem to get along just great.. She has 5 cats..so needless to

say the boys loved her.. They checked her out thoroughly..lol..

Not much gets past Dutch..lol..and if they approve , she has

to be nice.. She did a wonderful job..My apt shows it.. and

she said there is no type of housework she wont do for me.

Even spring cleaning if i want her to. I just hope she stays

forever so I dont have to worry. And maybe if I get this re

assessment I may be allowed more hours.. I still dont under

stand why I went from 42 to 28 ...

I explained what I can and cant do and that I would try to

make it so she doesnt do it all..that I will try to keep it neat

and then she wont have tons to do.. They cant ask our

medical problems but I did tell her so she knows.. She

was very understanding which I am grateful for as I dont

want her to think I am just plain lazy why I cant do alot of

stuff and she really understands.. as she had a gentleman

she cared for was a para from the waist down...

I did mail my reassessment form back today, I am so

anxious to find out what is going to happen..I am sure

they wont take anything away as I really have not improved

but then with govt you never know they always come up

with some reason or another to justify what they do to us.

Its a shame what they can get away with...

I have to say My ribs and arms are alot better.. not nearly

as sore..which I am glad was hard to transfer without it

really hurting.. I did call to make a Drs. appointment today

but the girl that makes the reservations wasnt in so I have

to call back on Monday.. My eyes seem to have that same

junk again.. I also wanted to relay the message the man

from the SSI told me.. to call and make sure they stress

the fact that I am a amputee and all my other problems

as well..I think I need to get my hands checked..the tips

of my fingers are really getting dark..and If I dont go pretty

soon Dawn said she will have Donnie come and take me

and I then would have NO choice..as he would just pick

me up and carry me out lol...but i guess its time just in

case its something and maybe they can avoid anything

drastic that could happen like losing the tips of my

fingers..I wonder how long it would take me to learn to

type again? Hmmm that will be a challenge but ,, I KNOW

it wont take me long ..like I could stay away from my

computer? lolol..sure..

I had to call and find out about Stans excursion to buy my

sis her silk panties.. was hilarious.. we laffed so hard..

She said stan offered to pay the Granddaugher..$100 if she

would go and buy them for him and NOT to tell Gramma

which of course she did,,, Sis said it was so funny that

when he got back ..he DID go.. he told her he promises

he will fix whatever needs it as soon as it does if he

NEVER has to go and buy them again..I laughed so hard..

Leave it to my sis to come up with something so good .lol...

she outdoes me sometimes.. Shirley and I are so much

alike its scarey.. and yet we didnt meet till we were both

in our 30's. And I'll tell you she is THE BESTEST SISTER

ANY person could have.. She has never left my side thru

all of this nightmare I have been thru .. she was right there

with me.. Shes My Sis...:-D..and LORD I AM SO GLAD...

I now have CLEAN apt.. Rae even did the litter box It

was one of the hardest things I had to do as its right on

the floor.. she has all her cats and loves them and said

she didnt mind changing it at all.. I tried to do it today

before she got here but I pooped out.. I was trying to do

a little bit so she wouldnt get discouraged when she saw

the messy place..She was impressed that this place was

so kept up considering I have done it on my own for so long.

Well been a really hectic day and me and the boys are

super pooped.. no nap today and I sure need one.. I

know what will happen.. I will go and drag this weeble

butt over to my bed.. snuggle down in.. and wonder how

long it will be before these yukky eyes close.? I bet not

long..then Ill wake up about 2 or 3 wide awake just like

this morning I was up at 3:30..lol.. butt I went back to

bed about 7 till about 10..dozing so its not too bad.. I

hope there is a good movie on.. I hate commercials..

Today was a good day, I even woke up happy today!!!

Life is good.. :-) got lots of sweet family and friends

and now a great new caregiver..oh..cant forget my boys..

Y'all have a good one now y'hear? luv ya.. & thanks for

all your great comments and letters.. mean alot to me.

..

Always, Lois***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~Knee Wheeler?~

I was talking today to my sister.. she went to work today. I told
her I would think she would stay home.. She and my brother in
law have their own company and she does all the office work. It
is a small business.. She had just gotten home and was out of
breath from trying to get around, she Had to go as she is the
only one that worked in the office and HAD no choice but to go.

She has her right leg in a cast up to just below her knee

she said. and they rented a wheel chair and also a little

cart type thing that she can kneel on and move about,

which I had not ever heard of but then thinking what a

neat little transporter, alot better than crutches , they

were so hard on the armpits and my sis is not any more

graceful than I was when I tried to use them. They didnt

offer me that little kneeler..I bet it works great....

She got to telling me.. that she was having trouble and

such a hard time to get around.. when she uses that

kneeler it really wears her out as she does have weak

legs, so she uses the wheelchair to go all the way down

the hall to the bathroom...She proceeded to tell me how

hard a time she was having trying to maneuver around

in there to do her business.. I had to laugh.. as she told

me how she lost her balance trying to turn around to

sit etc and as she almost fell she tore the towel rack

off the wall and the toilet paper holder trying to find

something to grab...I can just see her. We laughed so hard.

and she says..." you have no idea how hard it is to do,

to maneuver in there"..Then she stops..and we both

laugh again.. I said "yessss i dooooo" and she then

realized what she had said.. and instantly felt kinda bad.

and said "ohhh I'm sorry , of course you know" I laughed

and told her.. "well I hope you are wearing SILK PANTIES.

now you KNOW why I wanted them so bad dont you?"

She and I both had a good laff over that..She said for

Stanleys punishment for NOT fixing the ramp she made

him go to the store and buy her some silk ones .. LOL...

Then we really laughed. if you knew Stan that was a worst

punishment than anything she could possibly have done

to him..he was NOT into going and buying ladies undies.

We had a good laugh today at each other :-)

We talked for quite a while and she told me how she now

realizes a bit more of what I have to do and the major

adjustments I have had to make to be able to live alone.

She said she has Stan there and Candis that wait on her

hand and foot and how they help her in and out of the

car.. etc.. She said "how do you live there alone, are you

ever afraid?" I got to thinking about it.. and told her, no

not really only when I come close to falling or have no way

to contact anyone, like when the phone went out for 2

days.. She said "I dont think I could do it" ...well .. you

KNOW what I told her I am sure... "well if I can ,, so can you"

there is a keyword...I told her and just a small one.. but

the word is TRY..and you will be amazed at what inner

strength you really have. Its hard sometimes..but not totally

impossible...

I did get some kind of news that was interesting today tho

that I wasnt even aware of.. When I applied for my SSI I

was NOT an amputee yet. I got my SSI based on my heart

and blindness, carpal tunnel etc. The man said I needed to

update my claim and perhaps be re-evaluated and there

may perhaps be a change in my benefits which would be

more.. I have been this way for 5 years..now..and they

were not really aware of the drastic change that was added

to me.. So I am anxious to find out what this new added

information will provide.. When I called the man that sent

the form he was so very nice, and even said he hoped I

would phone to question this..and said to be very specific

in this re evaluation.. and I could hear where he was telling

me this may possibly be a good thing..My sister when I

told her, said I could possibly get even 5 years of back

benefits that I should have gotten. which would be an

added blessing. Now isnt THIS wonderful??? I have very

high hopes..Perhaps my lifestyle could greatly improve..

and hmmm I could try out some of that good food for

sale on QVC ...:-) no just kidding lol..well maybe I would

splurge one time :-)

I am feeling better today I KNOW y'all HAVE to be happy

I bet you are sick of reading that I feel bad.. HELL i got

tired of writing it LOL...I did try not to whine too bad tho..

but we all got to whine to somebody once in a while dont we,

no matter what age we are ..:-)

Well Miss Whiney Weeble is off to watch tv, and I think

another ham and cheese , grilled of course.. I love them..

Penny got me some great bread just like homemade

I wish I could reach my bread maker and I could make

my own.. I could put it on the TV tray which is lower but

it so NOT stable..and I would hate for Dutch , my nosey

boy to knock it over..and get hurt. have to be careful

when you have SUPER nosey kids.. And Dutch is SO

nosey. anything I have in my hands he has to see..As

I write this I have to steady push my keyboard back over

as he is using it for a pillow and pushing it to my left...lol

he absolutely refuses to move his head even when I push

it back..lol..kids...I will be so glad when i have more room

on this desk for these 2 cats and my computer...

Y'all have a good one now y'hear ? LUV YA!!! & thanks...

ALways, Lois ***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~Chair Loaders lol..~

I was thinking to day about ways I could come up with to get

back in my chair that wouldnt take an act of congress to do..
I cant think of any ways that I can get back in my chair just me

and my chair.. pulling myself up into it.. I have tried..the last

time I fell out of it when I was in the kitchen...and thats using

the big popcorn can...I dont have any other way now to do it

that I can see...

I was talking to a friend today about how furniture is not really

adapted for someone like me thats in a wheelchair. I want

a nice work area on wheels in my kitchen I have been looking

thru sites on the net and I have seen some that would be just

perfect.. but they were all 34 to 36 inches high.. I use a tv tray

now..one of those wooden ones..and Its perfect height.. about

22 inches from the floor.. not on wheels tho..and it will collapse

it its tipped wrong..as it does fold up...the work area is a bit

too small but the height is perfect.. I wrote to some of the places

I was on the net.. and asked if they made shorter ones..and the

shortest they go is 32 inches..including casters.

Some of these work areas were really nice..Some had drop leafs

and had nice big work areas where you could put 2 bowls or

something more than just one bowl on it, had shelves underneath

too or a drawer..which is ok..but then I cant pull up real close to

chair if it has a bar that goes across at the bottom ..You know like

a brace to keep the legs apart..Its a shame. I bet there are alot

of wheel chair people have this same problem as me..

I had thought about a idea for getting back into my chair that I

could easily put together or what ever and use as a ramp or

even steps to get back in.. I had thought about some wooden

cubes that sat inside each other..all different heights with a

hole for your hand to be able to grab them apart..then put side

by side and use as wide *Note >>WIDE* or big enough square

to sit on..and to lift up..to go to the next "step" where you dont

have to lift your self up by a foot or so which is hard to do cuz

then its dragging your self up..But I bet 3 of these together would

work great..then push back together put a cushion on top and

you have an extra seat in living room too... would work good I

think..

I had even thought of a collapsible ramp thingie that can be

kept under the couch..and folds in half or in 3? and just unfold

and there is a ramp..and just straight scootin on that thing be

real easy... I would think there would be something . I was so

embarrassed when I had to call 911 that time to get picked

up and put back in my chair I felt like a total idiot..lol.. I swore

then I would learn how to do it myself and I did.. this is probly

not the way some physical therapy person would say to do

it but it works for me..lol...I know I'm strong, yes..but I am NOT

that strong to just pull my self into my chair from the floor like

I saw Brian down the hall do it.. but hes in his 20's..he has MS

i think..not real sure.. Hes one of the youngest.. or may be its

Karen. she has cp.. but she can walk a little..

Well my sis called and she is totally miserable.. her ankle is

badly broken and they may have to do surgery.. She said it

cost her 900.oo today to see her doctor and have a new

cast put on.. and she has NO insurance.. She is SO upset..

then if they have to do surgery? She is almost in tears. I

dont know but just seems no one can win...not anymore.

cant win for losing I think is how it goes.. She did say that

the Grand is taking good care of her and her Hubby feels

just awful he didnt fix the ramp before he went out of town.

Ahhh the joys of daily living lol. aint life just SO FUN???

I shouldnt complain I know there are so many so much

worse than me.. I have heard about 2 women became

quads because of getting that flesh eating disease after

having babies.. My word.. NOTHING is safe to do .I

feel so badly for them .. how sad... a quad and a new

baby..having to deal with both at the same time.. The

emotional drain on these women has to be just so

unbelievable.. and I complain. I should never complain

someone some where is worse.. I wish I could help

these women, I sure would if I could.. Bless their hearts..

Well Im off to see what kinda food QVC had on today

they are having all the super bowl party foods on.. Some

of the food, steaks etc or burgers. my sis has gotten

and they are EXCELLENT.. she gave me a bacon

wrapped filet mignon and wow.. i mean MELT IN YOUR
MOUTH... Really good.. I saw some carmel apple chips

and they look so good I watched the ladys face as she

tasted one .. I think they were really good and not

expensive like a pringles can and got 3 of them for 20

dollars i think..Not bad...Well I better go check.:-)

Oh - Im doing ok.. still cant hardly raise my arm but its

alot better..

Y'all have a good one now y'hear? LUV YA ! & thanks :-)

Always, Lois***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~Good News!~

Well.!.!. I have a new caregiver starting on friday. she will

be here about 1 in the after noon for 2 and 3/4 of an hour.

I'm allowed..get this.. 5.8 hrs a week.. I mean.. they even

go to how many MINUTES we are allowed.. thats kinda

pitiful..and I am allowed more time for laundry, 7hrs a

month and only 6 hrs a month for cleaning.. I guess they

figure my clothes get dirtier than my apt ..figure that out--

they must think i only slop on myself :-D and I DON'T..

well sometimes I do.. lol.. depends how hungry I am lol..

no no I'm very neat..i don't drool.. :-) I just hope it works

out.. I question this hour stuff all the time and the more

Becky tries to explain it to me I think she gets confused...

I would like to know who came up with the time allottment

however RayLynn will be here on friday and tuesdays...

I'm so pleased....

I want you to know I cannot raise my bloody arm lol.. but

hey.. I did NOT hit the floor and If I could I would pat my

self on the back for that.. Do you know what I would have

had to do if I had? scoot.. well if I didn't break anything --

when I hit the floor..Butt, I would have had to drag this butt of

mine ALLLL the way into the dining room , thru the kitchen

THEN into the living room, the whole time .pushing my

chair in front of me.. so I can get to that popcorn can, then

then take the cushion off the couch.. and start my climb

step by step back up into my chair.. I havent figured

out a easier way unless i get 2 different height foot stools

which would work and serve for extra seating in there.

THEN I try to manuever that can under my butt, which ya- like

that is easy too ... I know you can just picture all this too.

and don't be laffin at me neither LOL, :-) so now I am leaning

wayyyy over to the side.. then try to set the can straight

up with ME sitting on it.. yeahhh thats fun.. like now you
KNOW my butt fits on that can too right? SURE it does :-D

So here i sit.. hangin all out all over that can which is about

maybe 15 inches across, not sure, I'm perched there like a

big old BIRD..and have to turn so I can then I scoot to the couch

where there is no cushion..then I get up onto the other

cushion , about 8 or 10 inches thick and the same height as

my chair. then I scoot into my chair and tada! im back in it

All because I fell out of my chair, that is the only way I can

get back into it.. I have tried to pull my self up in.. but I just

cant figure out how to do it. now.. remember too, I am in a

skirt.. so ya.. thats another biggie while i am pushing my chair

back here to the living room.. its scoot.. pull my skirt, scoot, &

pull.. I guess if I wore pants be easier.. but since i only wear

skirts I have to be a little more ummm.. "careful" lol...well ..trust

me I do with out divulging too many secrets here LOL.

I have a couple bruises on each stump and the ribs are sore

too.. But hey.. I DID NOT hit the floor.. thats the main thing.. Do

you KNOW how mad I would be if I had broken my hip or arm?

ohhh no no totally unacceptable .. I still have not figured out why

that brake, well lock gave way I dont think I hit it.. I know I did

touch the tire first before I tried to get the grabber part on the

front of my chair.. well the L shaped part in front.. Maybe I

disengaged it.. they are coming tomorrow to check it out tho.

Just to be safe.. But it taught me a lesson to just be VERY

careful when I back up anymore.. I need one of those back

up things like on trucks lol. that beep when they are backing

up.. well they do.. just means Look out here I come..many

times I have to chase Dutch out of my chair when he sees

its empty he will jump in it and lay there cuz its nice and warm

from me being in it ..

You should have seen those two looking, wonderment on their

faces lol. watching me get back into this chair, I KNOW thinkin'

what their crazy mother was doing laying on her side by the potty

after I got back on the potty I had to make sure I hadnt hit either of

them they stay right there and watch while I do my business you

know..That is so hard to explain to company that my cats are the

potty escort and like to watch. My sis runs and slams the door,

knowing Dutch is on the other side waiting, I think what it is, they
like to watch the toilet flush.. LB will jump up and put his feet on
the seat, watch it flush for a while then run like crazy like some
thing is gonna jump out at him. Dutch well he gets on the seat and
tries to flush it again.. We are a weird family here.. lol...

Penny has been sick all this week she said is why I havent heard

from her.. She said she cant get rid of this stuff. she came over

and was going to go to the store and wanted to know if I needed

anything which i really did.. I was out of my favorite soda.. Bet

y'all forgot what that is too huh? ok take note..CREME SODA..

tastes kinda like vanilla that you use for baking..its really good.

She picked up soda and some ham for a nice grilled ham and

cheese sandwich ..ohoh I just told what my snack is gonna be.

But Penny looked so pale.. I felt bad for her and I told her I sure

appreciated her doing this for me.. She came back in about

an hour or so.. and I gave her some money for gas this time..

its gone up again here.. And I really appreciate her being so

kind to me.. I can remember some fights she and I have had..

Shes really alot like me.. She says what she thinks.. and

expects the rules to be obeyed.. the same for everyone..

maybe thats why we clashed so much at first. lol.. but she is

a good person.. Her daughter is in a chair.. and Penny takes

care of her and Katie the grand... Jody Is a para from the

waist down from a car accident.. a single mom. only in her

twenties I think not sure..pretty girl.. goes to college bless

her heart...Penny takes good care of them...

Well the ham is screamin ..ready to be heated up and cheesed

and Im starved Lunch was AWFUL.. some greasy dead lookin

chicken.. ickkaaaa .. so Im starved... Thanks for all the get wells

and the concern about this wobbly weeble lol.. I didnt hit the
FLOOOORRRRR ha ha !!! hey I'm good here :-)

Y'all have a good one..Y'hear? Did you know they have FOOD
they sell on QVC? Some CARMEL APPLE CHIPS.. M M M...

LUV YA'S...

Always,Lois ***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~Well I Almost Did a Dummy Thing~

Well I almost did a BIG dummy last nite.. I was scooting

back into my chair from the potty and my brake unlocked

for some reason , my chair moved and i was laying side

ways between the potty and my chair, ready to hit the

floor. I was in a BAD spot..and I said some UGLY words..

You DONT want to know lol...but I did i'll be honest :-)
The more I tried to move the more I slipped towards the
floor.. I was holding on with my left stump and hand, no
where else could I get to. I had to just stop and gather
some extra strength I WAS NOT hitting that floor..NO WAy.

I reached out and the more I tried to grab hold of some

thing seemed the more I would slip towards the floor. I

was able to reach the handrail along the wall to stop my

self but I couldnt get enough of a grip on anything with

my right hand. The more I tried the more my chair moved.

Only the right brake had come loose. I didnt know I was

this strong..I amazed myself when I think of it now..

I reached out and pulled HARD.. and my left stump then

went into the toilet, while my right was on the outside of

it. and slowly pulled and tugged until I could sit back up

on the toilet. I hit my ribs on the arm rest of my chair and

my right stump hit part of the toilet seat.. My left got a

huge bruise on it from being so tight up against the side

of the toilet bowl and from me putting so much pressure

on it to keep from falling.. I was lucky that there are 2

hand rails in by the toilet, one at the back of it and one

down the side..I am so glad I didnt hit the floor.. the way

i was headed I probably would have broken my arm or

my hip. I am SO glad I use my manual chair.. I never

would have had the strength to pull my whole body

weight up like that if I didn't.....

I am so sore today from that.. my ribs on the right and both

my stumps have bruises on them but hey, I m grateful I

didnt hit the floor.. I have NO idea why my brake gave way..

it never should have.. I will have to have it checked.. this is

NOT good and I will have to take special care now to

make sure that I am totally Locked before I make a move

from now on.. I never thought that could happen.. well ..NOW I

KNOW don't I..lol.. Ill settle for bruises if I had broken a hip or

arm??? ohhh no - no - I would be a VERY unhappy camper..

I do feel better as far as this flu is concerned tho which

I am most grateful.. that was some yukky stuff.. just put my

STUFF right down...I had some nyquil and that really

knocks me down for the count..at least 4 hours I am totally

gone.. My ex at my first whine about not feeling good would

make a mad dash to the drug store to make sure I had some

so he wouldnt have to listen to me boo hoo..lol.. And I would

wake up feeling better.That night time nyquil is really good

for the flu..worked good for me...

Well I have some sore spots that could use some pillow

support and I am going to go and lay it down.. I just cant

seem to win here can I. I may have a new caregiver I did

make about a dozen calls today.. I am supposed to be the

employer, and I am doing the calling to find someone..I

think I have this backwards don't I? lol.. Oh and no side

excursion to the kitchen today I am going straight to my

bed, not passing go or collecting 200 dollars lol and

THAT is my final answer : -)

Thanks for all the wonderful get well wishes..means so

much to me that you care.. it really does.. makes me

feel so good.. even the bruises dont hurt too bad when

you know people care about you ..:-)

Ya'll have a good one now y'hear? LUV YA ! ! !

Always, Lois***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~My Poor Sis~

Today is better, thank goodness.. I was getting tired of this already...and I bet y'all was too...nothin' like a whiney weeble. lol...I do feel better I did have doubts a couple times tho..My sis just phoned.. with bad news.. She fell and broke her ankle this morning on her way to church.. She has a cast on her leg .. Always something.. My brother in law will be very upset when he returns..since she fell from a slippery ramp she has that goes into her house..that he was supposed to have fixed. Its wood and with the snow, and rain it gets slippery..And this morning, by her, they had both so was very slippery and she lost her footing and down she went..She is doing ok.. I remember how many times I had sprained my ankles and I broke my leg twice..The last time just before I had it amputated I think that was why they really didn't put it into a cast..just a air boot type thing...hurt horribly..When I worked I always dressed up and wore heels. I very seldom fell off them but I did a couple times and sprained my ankle.. I don't know which is worse, a sprain sure hurts alot, but a break isn't pain free either... When I had fallen and broke my leg that thanksgiving just before my first amputation.. I think they sort of knew that my foot was dying.. it had a few bad spots on it that would not heal..and had gotten really dark.. By the time January got there my foot had turned black.and I watched as it sort of disintegrated and seemed to just melt PAINFULLY away..I remember the pain most of all. I know by the time the day came to have the amputation.. i wanted it off - I needed SOMETHING to be done. I actually remember begging them to hurry and do this..please just so the pain would be less, i was in agony .. I think that was the first thing I really noticed when I woke up.. That the excruciating pain was gone...It hurt..and was propped up on a rolled up blanket..but it was a pain I could handle..I was really glad that it was done..but I hated the look of it..I honestly did not like the bk amputation.. I had a horrible time to straighten my stump out. it just would NOT..when I would try it would really hurt.. like the tendon had not been left long enough so the remaining part would lay flat down on the bed was awful and I hated it.. When I got back to the hellhome no one there seemed to know how to bandage a bk amputation.none of the dressings stayed on..that's why it got infected..from the nite the dressing fell off to the floor and the nurse just picked it back up and slid it onto my stump before I could stop her.. I still cant believe that a RN would do something that stupid...I was only a LPN and I knew NOT to do that..ANYONE does...but she actually got MAD!!! said she didn't have time to put a new one on ..let the day shift.. I told her to give me the stuff and I would do it..she stomped out of my room and I could hear her mumbling all the way down the hall..when she came back she literally threw the packages of tape and gauze onto my bed..while she hurriedly put a new bandage on ..I was taking up too much of her time.. That's why I had to have it taken off AK..because of the infection that set in...was from her neglegence.. she did not lose her job, as she told them.." I DID put a new dressing ON" but did NOT state that I made her...Thankfully she is no longer employed there, I hope she is not in another home abusing patients. think of the ones that cant complain...thats why they wanted me out of there because I DID..I let them know, (when i was sane) when they were wrong...I think thats why they kept me drugged LOL. just to shut me up .. well someone had to say something when they did wrong 90% of the dearies in there didnt KNOW They were even IN there.. :-) someone had to look out for all of us... Well I am going to go and lay it down for the night ..thank you all for your get well wishes and I apologize for the boring posts the past few days..If you have any questions or something you would like to know about.. I hope you will email or post a comment here and I will try to answer you...Maybe some others are too shy to post a comment and are too shy to ask...but let me know if you do.. I am always glad to get email..I love to write.. :-) didnt know THAT did ya? see? good thing I told you ....nitey nite..:-) Y 'all take care now y'hear? luv ya..and thanks again.. ALways, Lois *** May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...

~Slow Improvment~

Today I do feel a bit better and have stayed up longer than I have the past 3 days...This stuff lets you think you feel no too bad..so you get up..and then it gets right back and says"JUST FOOLIN" and back I go to bed...I had some good soup and watched tv and fell asleep real fast...I just dont sleep long at one time. I used to mainly sleep on my right side..well now it is really hard to do and if I am not laying just right the weight from my left stump, it being a bit longer than the right puts pressure on my hip..even with a pillow between them.. I miss sleeping like that tho..every once in a while, I don't know what I do, but I can sleep that way for awhile.. It gets very hard on my back steady sleeping that way..that's why sometimes I sleep sitting up just to have a different position... I got used to doing that in the hellhome. . They had a major issue there about side rails..they were not allowed to use them as they were considered restraints.. There were so many of the dearies that started to fall out..they would put their beds as far down as they would go ( if they had electric bed, not all did) and put a 2 inch foam mat the length of the side supposedly to help cushion the fall...well didn't work real good..They went thru and tied all the side rails down so you couldnt pull them up..well I needed mine to sit up or to roll to my side..so i cut mine off so I could use them.. I only used one side anyway..but I wanted mine ..they of course told me i wasn't allowed to but well they never came and tied it back up...I would have just cut if off again.. I thought of how dangerous to not have them for the patients , not able to use them anymore..Some people really had to have them and they said no..i did cut some others off too for a couple other people i knew..oh we weren't allowed scissors either ..if they had gotten mine they would have taken them..too dangerous.. . when i had to turn or sit up that side rail sure came in handy..just to sit up now is really hard..but i did put a rope..well a strap..and tied it to my bed frame and I use that now for leverage to help pull me up..Some times i would try to get up and almost pull my shoulder out..I can get a hospital bed..electric if I want one then i could have the trapeze over top to help me get up. I had thought about getting one but its only a single bed and alot smaller than what i have now..and I like the room i have its only a double but big for me..works good..and this strap i have now helps alot. . Well i still feel crappy, but i expect to for a few days yet.. I was so glad Dawn came over this morning and went to the bank for me..and she vacuumed..Kelli had to work today.. They are so good to me.. Dawns birthday is tomorrow..they are having a dinner and invited her parents. They will have a good time Dawn is such a sweetie.. . I'm going to get some water and go back to bed.. thanks again for all the sweet birthday wishes..so nice to get. . Y'all have a good one y'hear? LUV ya... Always, Lois *** May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...

~Happy Birthday To Me~ :-)

Well today I am another year older..butt thankfully NOT

deeper in debt lol. like the song says.. And this was a very

nice birthday..so many wonderful happy wishes.and phone

calls.. I just got off the phone and listened to Donnie sing

Happy Birthday to me lol...was nice..and Kelli had a email

waiting for me when I logged online..and from all my friends

this is so nice... its a sad day for me remembering my sister..

but happy one too that I made it to this one.. I had my doubts

believe me.. but I made it..lol..and until this ticker stops.tickin

.well ill just keep takin' a lickin' lolol :-) Happy Birthday to ME.

:-D...

No - this past year has been stressful and aggravating, yes..

but.. im still here and in one piece..well minus a few extras

but who cares? lol.. Im still me and gorgeous.. Look at the

pic up there.. I took that with my new cam today its not real

clear but hey..Its new.. i dont have it all figgered out..so if

its not clear or what ever well just imagine it is and dont

complain LOLOL>. no I see it is.. I just dont know how to

adjust the focus yet on this new zoomer cam. lol.. I know

its MY birthday and I should be gettin all the goodies but

I thought id let you see me all fluey.. I look like I have the

flu lol.. messy bed and all.. you can see how my bed is

sideways compared to how a taller person would sleep

and my stack of pillows on the wall which is my head

board.. I've paid for a double bed and have a king size

cant beat that...

I go up and down between feeling ehhh ok..to feeling pure

D crappy...I think cuz of the fever.. I took this pic and just

leaned back and took a nap after.. lol.. I figgered out how

to do a little clippie and took the snap off it...so when I was

done it stopped and I just scooted over to the pillows on

the right side of me and laid that tired butt right down..Had

a nice little nap. ..

I do need something to eat tho..I havent all day..and I think

if i take some aspirins I need to eat something first.. I feel

the fever setting back in which usually at nite they do ...I

apologize for the short posts the past couple of days but

well im sick and consider it a rest for your eyes lol...Hope

fully I will feel better tomorrow.. Dawn will be here in the

morning she said..her birthday is sunday.. and she is going

to go to the bank, I am so glad I have been waiting all

week for someone to come and go for me.

I am going to go and find some soup . and then lay back and
watch tv.. If I felt better I would call and order a pizza ..lol..just
what I need hey? lol..no too much.. soup is good..Mrs. Grass
Extra Noodle Soup..M M M..good stuff..hits the right spot..if I
feel better tomorrow I will splurge and get a pizza then...
so soup it is.......

This souper weeble is signing off.. y'all have a good one y'hear?

luv ya...and thanks thanks thanks...was a great birthday ...

Always, Lois***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~Flu Day 2

I had high hopes of waking up and feeling better..but wasnt ment to be... I know it takes awhile to work its way out of you, and with some people it takes longer than others as it goes into so much other stuff.. My sis alot of times ends up with pneumonia and in the hospital.. Its not easy to transfer when I feel good so you can imagine what its like to have to constantly get up for one reason or another to make the potty calls when I ache all over and my arms feel ready to be ripped off much less how some of my OTHER body parts drag even MORE now...To go ALLLL that way (seems like 900 miles) out to the kitchen is an effort.. and to be honest I dont have an appetite anyway. This humidifier sure works good.. I dont spark anymore.which is a good thing.. I did find out why my outlet didnt work too..I guess the switch on the wall works only the 1 plug ..and not both.. I told Chris about it and he flipped the switch back and i can now play my keyboard again..I didnt have to move it after all..oh well its nice to see my living room look different, well at least half of it anyway .. . I did call my dr about this flu..since i havent gotten my shot..and its too late now..but I asked if there was anything special i could do to ease the symptoms.. and sadly the reply was no..just have to ride it out..take aspirin and drink plenty of fluids for the fever. and just do the best I can..which I have been. not easy being green.:-) I hope I feel better tomorrow...y'all take care now y'hear? dont get this stuff ... luv ya.. and thanks for all the birthday wishes.!. Always, Lois *** May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...

~A Short Note~

Well this will be a short post.. I feel like I have been hit by

a train. This flu is NOT a good thing...I venture off my bed

to potty and that is about it..I dont even have the energy to

fix more than soup.

I promised to write here every day and of course who can

pass their computer and not stop and check mail? I cant.

Whether I am sick . well or in any other state of health lol...

I think once you get a computer that is one of the rules..

if you go close to your computer it is your sworn duty to

check mail... :-)

I think my resistance is just down from doing too much and

I think since Penny was just getting over this mess that she

contaminated me..She says everyone here in the building

is down with this and if they are I sure feel sorry for them.

Some cant risk getting this..we are all challenged people..

this up and down to the potty is what is the hard part..Its

hard enough to move and transfer when you feel good..

Its hard as HELL to do when you ache all over and the

slightest movement makes you get chills and you freeze..

I am back to bed my friends..Thank you so much to those

that have sent get well wishes and for all the lovely happy

birthday wishes too..Friday is my sad/happy day.. My dear

sister will be remembered too...Please take care NOT to

get this ickkky stuff..sure is NOT fun...:-(

Y'all have a good one now y'hear? LUV ya..& thanks :-)

Always, Lois***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~Flu Is Here!~

Seems everyone in the building is either just getting over

the flu or sick as a dog..I woke up this morning feeling

awful.. and have spent the day in bed.. Penny came over

this afternoon and did a few things for me bless her heart.

She has just gotten over this junk.. It is really some awful

stuff.. I feel like I have been hit by a train, needless to say

this will be a short post, and as you see it is earler than
usual..but I had a slight time of a not too bad feeling so
here i am...but fading fast...this is some bad stuff. :-(
Hope none of you get it

Seems alot of the school kids are sick and many are

home, even some of the business's are complaining

about how many employees are sick. I talked to Donnie

last nite and its the same where he works.. I had to have

gotten it from here, Penny said everyone in this apt

building is sick.. If I dont feel better tomorrow I may have

to call and make a dr. appointment.. I heard on the tv

even the flu shot isnt working . helps a bit but wont fight

this. I guess this kind has gotten immune to our medications

I am glad Kelli is coming to help me on saturday provided

she doesnt get sick. I hope she doesnt..She said she

would be happy to help me clean and organize my sewing

room. I plan to get rid of alot of stuff in there that I KNOW

I have not used in way over a year, so I guess I can get rid

of it finally...I just have a hard time throwing stuff away If I

think it could possibly have a use, but if I havent looked at
something or used it in a year I guess its time to get rid of it.

Still no caregiver.. I got a email from FIA stating the one

place is sending a letter as to why they cannot work for

me and I have no idea why. I didnt think I was that hard

on people.. I think that MStaff just like COA when you

catch them doing things they shouldnt and tell them about

it and they get caught is why they wont agree to work for

you anymore...I know I am tired of looking and will just

do the best I can ..thats all I can do..There are just too

many clients and not enough workers which I believe

that too.. So I guess its just back to waiting and hoping

my niece will move to the area...I havent heard anything

from her at all lately..

Well I am fading fast, this is some really awful stuff, sure

is making me feel crappy.. I slept most of the day and

Penny went to the store and got some juice and stuff.
I know I dont dare eat anything thats for sure.. I end up

losing it one way or the other if you know what I mean.

lol.. and trust me.. THAT is NOT a good thing.. :-)

Back to bed...Y'all have a good one, Y'hear? luv ya,

and thanks ....

Always, Lois***

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~With A Little Help~

I wrote and asked my girl this morning if she would come by and help me clean my sewing room.. I offered to give her alot of stuff out of there if she would like to have it.. I dont know if I will ever get it set up to sew again.. at the rate I am going probably not..lol. I do miss it. and I will make some new skirts and tops they are easy to make..but I cant now its just so topsy turvey in there.. Maybe once Kelli helps me clean and organize and I keep Dutch out of there I can do more sewing if I can get my machine to work better. I did enjoy making the quilts..and I do need some new clothes..its been ages since I got anything new. well I did get my new sweater at Christmas..I'm hoping she will run The Beast for me..sure needs it with 2 cats that shed.. I use a carpet sweeper and just doesnt do as good. I have a nice table in there and my old computer is still in there. I would like to hook it up as I still have things in it I would like to have in this computer.. Old pictures etc. For some reason before i switched to this one I couldnt send any attachments.. and I have NO idea why..I just could NOT send any ..I tried ...I would like to get it set back up tho. I still havent figured out why there is no cable outlet or phone jack in that room I thought there was..but I didnt find one.. When I got cable I was hoping to keep this puter in there I liked looking out the window now I either look at the wall or my monitor.. lol..which is ok but its kinda nice to see out too. I tried making some phone calls but it being a holiday no one is in any offices...to see about getting a caregiver.. I did call about a cell phone tho...its not too bad a deal.. I just have to make sure I redo my budget so its covered every month.. Its a year contract, I should be able to do it.. I just have to watch closely and stick to my budget.. I forgot to tell the apt manager, Chris about that outlet. I need to remember . I wanted to practice on my keyboard.. I would LOVE to learn how to play..I moved my desk, after I took the drawers out of course, and my little cabinet so I could move my keyboard to another outlet.. By the time I finished my arms were so tired I couldnt practice lol.. They werent that heavy, just pulling the one out and pushing the desk down .more or less trading places..just took alot of time.. I dont know why I didnt take piano lessons from my cousin when I was growing up..I went to her house every monday nite after school for 3 years to do her ironing..just so I had spending money when I went shopping on saturdays..I wish now I had.. She is 82, bless her heart..still doing good..its the clean living up North. All that clean air up in the middle of a national forest... At least now I got part of my living room a little different. I get tired of everything staying the same ALL the time.. It wasnt that hard to switch those 2 out. my desk isnt that big..3 drawers down one side and 1 drawer above where the chair goes.. I took them out and it was fairly light and easy to push. If I lock this chair down I can push pretty good.. I wasnt gonna go into my sewing room for my power chair. noooo Ill wait till Kelli gets here just to make sure I dont get hemmed up in there again..lol.. Well I'm wore out..was a busy day.. I did get something done tho not been lazy .. I could have gotten more done..but I dont want to totally give out and my arms are kinda sore.. gee I hope I can lift some of that chicken and yellow rice i made today out of the fridge lol...I got hungry for chicken and thats so easy to make..Yellow rice is so good specially if you like saffron..which I LOVE it..so darned expensive tho.. but such good eatin' lol.. This post is a bit early tonite. but I am tired..and hungry , no lunch being a holiday so I am rollin at high speed into that kitchen .. I cant get lost I have a path I can follow thru the dining room .. boy, is Kelli gonna laugh when she sees what THAT looks like lol.. oh well. Im off to the kitchen and then to see what QVC is gonna tempt me with. had some great knives on there today . lol..ok.. Im off ...:-) Y'all have a good one now ..Y'hear? Luv Ya! and Thanks... Always, Lois May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...

~What Am I Saying?~

Have you read me latelY?.. Me thinks I have been complaining.. NOW what is WRONG with that picture?? I cant believe what I write.. My word.. sheesh.. I was thinking back and comparing what I had before I moved in here..the hellhome I mean...before that I did live good..I worked hard to though...But compairing to the hellhome? wow.. I need to just SHUT UP here I think...I am living good comparing the 2 places..No, living GREAT.compared to the HELLHOME... I am grateful :-) I shared a room with another person.. usually they always gave me someone that was totally out of it.. and needed constant care and was up all night..one of the worst in the building , just to get even with me I think.. The nurses knew to try to be as quiet as they possibly could and not turn on every light in there or they would hear from me if they woke me up before it was time for my pain med to wear off... The management hated me there is why.. I would tell on them. They gave me the room mates that were required the most care.. and usually put aides on my hall that I didnt like or ones that didnt like me.. And frankly l didnt care who liked me or not .. I said what I said..I dont lie..lol. then or now....But it kept me in trouble.. well they were my dearies and I loved everyone of them.. Such lovely people.. just so eager for someone to pay them some attention.. So many had no one. Broke my heart...such lovely people..such stories they told of their lives... Our rooms I bet were no bigger than 8 foot by 10.no, I m guessing well they held 2 beds..2 night stands and 2 chairs. period. nothing else.. I traded my chair for another night stand for more storage We had a sink that was between the 2 closets..we each had our own. I kept my bed long ways..an I tried to make them keep the other bed the same way as the bathroom door was at the foot of the other bed..I wanted the window bed...and I fought till I got the room at the end of the hall they were a tad bigger than the others I dont remember how many rooms were in hall..I was in D? no C.. fooey I dont remember maybe B? Ya I think B cuz the main door OUT of the buildling was the hall to the right of mine... They kept me in the same hall even tho they moved me.. wow..I can remember at least 3 rooms no.4? I was in..I came back from having my left leg taken, they had packed up alot of my stuff, said I had too much in there..and put what ever they wanted into storage there fire hazard they said.. I was so upset.. I called my sister and told them what they had done to me. . Can you imagine how traumatic that was? lose my leg and come back to most of my stuff being gone? My sis was there the next day wanting to know just what they thought they were doing .She gave them HELL let me tell you lol..I got my stuff back.. It was just another way of getting rid of me, they kept asking me did I want to leave..but then when I could they said no. My left stump was too infected and I needed better care and would get it there more than I would in my own place. maybe that was true since it did take almost a year to heal..My sis looked out for me, bless her heart.. Every saturday, she faithfully was there.. I didnt know for a long time just how worried she was that I was going to die and each time she saw me, she worried it was the last time..I have the best sister anyone could have.. But comparing what I have now..and had only 5 years ago..I need to NOT complain at all.. what if Mona hadnt found me? Or whom ever it was , i think the social director found Mona..I could still be over there? no..no I would have found another apartment..some I did see I am so fortunate to have this one..I need to not complain Now i made myself feel really gulity lol..well I am grateful I have this place..I am.. its messy yes..but its clean..just a Messy Weeble lives here lol..and 2 messy cats... Well I will just shut my mouth now..and stuff it full so I shut up..and quit complaining for a while.. I am SO bad lol. so, I'm off in search of food as usual..just a light snack..so pardon moi...nitey nite.. Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? LUV YA~~!!!! thanks...:-) Always, Lois***. May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...

~I Got Stuck~

Since I had to move my computer back here into the bedroom My sewing room is a disaster. I got stuck in there this morning and the harder I tried to get out.. the worse it got . my tippers got hooked in a basket, and I couldn't move. I sat there so MAD I just could NOT believe it.. I was actually stuck...Now how the HELL I thought do I get out of this???? lol..I sat there for a second or two just shaking my head...:-) . I mean, the more I tried to move. the worse it got ~!~ I am almost to the tire spinning stage with smoke coming out like those race cars I am SO mad.. lol.. This was just amazing.! Now remember I have alot of stuff in there, table, my power chair, that MASSIVE cart..shelves, material..vacuum..well lots anyway. That cart had me stuck. I finally just had to quit trying before I blew a fuse. So sat there and just looked around at the mess in there and sheesh.. I mean its a mess.. It needs organized...badly..Finally I have to laugh at myself.. here I sit, STUCK, and its my OWN bloody fault! well now, what is wrong with THIS picture? I dont have enough??? ..that I have to do stressful stuff to my own self cuz I am just a Messy Margaret? I laughed.. This is good....:-D I finally had to take the arm out of my chair and turn amost totally around and see if I could reach far enough to get that basket unhooked from my tipper..well,. hmmm nope..didnt work . why? WELLL I told ya.. I got SHORT arms!!!! lol.. so..my next train of thought is .. "ok.. how am i getting this chair unstuck..i could just try real hard to smash the basket it was stuck on..I couldn't turn enough cuz the front wheel of the chair was caught on the wrong side of that cart and It couldn't turn..not while i was sitting in it.. So RATZ...Im stuck? till hopefully someone comes by? HELL thats MONDAY !! lol...Now I REALLY needed a cell phone... So the saga continues..Now I KNOW you're not laughin right? lol..Well I look around close that I can reach..i spy my power chair..i can reach it the joystick anyway to bring it closer.. so I reach and get it moved closer to me..This chair is piled full of stuff...So I look.. ok NOW where am I gonna put all THIS CRAP? lol...Some went on the table , the empty spots I could reach.. some I just let drop to the floor and when it was cleared off.. I had to really lift my self across the tire..NOW, YOU KNOW how EASY that was yes?? ya ,, ok, WELL> after almost ripping my skirt right off , I do mange to get into it.. TADA !!!! I back it up..and then I can reach the basket stuck on my manual.. I had pulled so hard it was really wedged...I didn't realize I was THAT strong lol..well I was MAD at gettin stuck....When I looked why, it was wedged up by the door and the underside of my chair and then I had moved the cart..while my chair was back.and well, it got me stuck. I got unstuck FINALLY and I aint going back in there till its cleaned, I did this to my OWN SELF!!! duh! :-D Thus ends todays Saga of Trapped in a Sewing Room.. Todays Lesson?? DO NOT BE A MESSY MARGARET ! I was going to go and make a couple new skirts.. I have some great silks in there... And the more I tried to look for stuff, well thats why I got trapped.. I ventured in there will all kinds of ambition and energy.. Well pooh.. I was so tired by that little saga ended I took a 3 hour NAP!!! The joys of chair life.. Just taught me.... well, I have to keep this stuff in order..If I don't well..what if my power chair hadn't been in there? No telling how long I could have been stuck..that huge cart the only wheels that turn all the way around are the 2 front.. not the back.. THAT was the main problem . That thing is SO huge.. I appreciate them getting it for me but .. well maybe I can trade with Stanley..he could use it for his shop. lol...Ive seen a couple online I think would work great. I may get one for myself for my birthday..lol.. well its two good reason to get one :-) So I'm rollin again.. yes...down the path to my kitchen..lol wish that WOULD grow back almost lol.. No.. just kidding.. I keep hearing a weird noise in my kitchen like a thump.. I have no idea what it is.. wakes me up sometimes.. I wonder if I have a ghost? Hmmm.wonder if he can use a hammer? lol.. Nitey Nite...:-) Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? Luv ya...& thanks... Always, Lois*** May God Bless you today, I'm so honored to call you friend, I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again...