~Looks Nice~

We are squeaky clean and my apartment is really looking

nice. The only rooms really left to do is the sewing room and

my bedroom..My bedroom is almost done..just a little bit left

to do to neaten it up..And the curtains need to come down

and need washed and whitened up..Theyre so pretty, white

lace with a ruffle at the edge and I keep them tied back, it

really looks nice. I Have the mini blinds on all my windows,

but I have to keep them up a couple feet as the boys love

looking out and they will climb right thru the mini blinds which

then bends them since they are such thin pieces of tin or

what ever theyre made out of..lol...I like having the mini blinds

though..mine are blue which match this horrible carpet. I am

not the only one that is complaining about the condition of it

though.. Mine was never replaced after the last tenant moved

out. I know that for a fact, and It was supposed to have been.

My closet needs organized badly, it really looks a mess..Of

course the boys going up there and sleeping on top of every

thing doesnt help..Dutch just pushes what he thinks is in the

way right off the shelf, so he has room..LB is more careful,

he likes having all the towels etc to lay on and soften where

hes laying lol..hes smart..I have quite a few old purses and

aprons and things I am going to ask Kelli if she would like

to have them..They are ones my mother and grandmother

used years ago.They are really quite pretty but beaded purses

are NOT in fashion, but they are nice to just keep for old times

sake, I guess you would say. The blankets and afgans are all

messed up and not folded right, If my mother could see this

closet shelf she would surely let me know it needed to be

straightened up..and NOW lol...

I try to do these things that are out of reach, I use my grabber

as much as I can, but it just is so hard to put them back up

there.. I can get them down..BOY! can I get them DOWN!!!

A tug here or there and I can bring down everything that is up

there on those 2 closet shelves...but putting them back..well..
I just am NOT tall enough...and even with the grabber I need

to still be taller to put them back up there right. Its amazing how

just these little things like reaching a shelf can mean nothing before

but now..well shows me I really AM a shorty now..Im glad I have

Raelynn here to put the things up there for me..:-)

Today is the last day of August..so OK..who took all of this year? I

wanna know lol.. I look at the date and think " well this year is almost

over, and what have I accomplished?" I look back..and I guess what

I have done is made it this far..so I guess I really HAVE done some

thing worthwhile..and did you know next month, will be 1 yr since I

started this blog? and that I have not missed a day? Now THAT is

amazing..That no matter what I have posted, I started this in Oct.

and every night I have been here to tell you this same thing.....

Nitey Nite...

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? I luv ya...and thanks bunches :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again....

~1964~

This photo was taken at my wedding shower back in 1964.

Does this photo bring back memories of things of a long time

ago, everywhere you look in this photo is a sign of the times. I

was looking at the corsage they got me to wear, it was pink and

red roses with white carnations I think, it was so pretty, My cousin

June is fixing her camera, look at the kind it is..One that takes

one of those big round bulbs...Look at the television set there

next to her... its a blonde wood cabinet and I bet if you could

see the brand name it would say Setchell Carlson..the same

as what my parents had, and I think was a very popular brand

back then. One of the first ones made lol...

A few days ago I put a picture here of my Aunt Lillian, in this

photo next to the television, the blonde, is my other cousin

June, and her mother my Favorite Aunt Lillian, much older

of course... Look at the old lamp between them with the

wide shade. I think my mother had one like that too..You can

see the legs of the folding card table chair I am sitting on...

and I think about where my skirt comes is about where my

left leg was amputated. I know it was just above the knee...

Its strange.. I try to remember where my knees were... and

Its kind of hard really, I cant be sure.I can pretty much guess,

but even if I think..and concentrate on where they really were,

I cant honestly say it would be accurate..strange..My right

stump is shorter, I know that by looking. but as far as can I

tell by feeling is the right one shorter .. no.. they feel like they

are the same length to me.. I know when I go to transfer that

the left is longer, because when I go to transfer onto my bed

I automatically start out with that stump since it is longer and

will give me more stability when I do scoot ahead to get onto

my bed or where ever I am transferring to...I know I do have

a good size sitting area..lol butt, I still do need the extra

that my stump gives me lol... :-)

I get that bottled water..its good for you.. and well.. I like Kool

Aid.. So what I do I get the Kool Aid that all you have to do is

mix water with it..and I do that..when I get a bottle of water I

put 2 scoops of the Kool Aid in..and shake..and I have kool

aid....Well I LOVE those Icee drinks from Burger King..So I

thought today, what If I put the bottle of Kool Aid into the

freezer and every so often go and shake it.. well.. I hit it just

right and talk about good.. It is just like the Icee from Burger

King.. lol.. :-) hey.. I WILL think of some thing lol...

Time to think of some food too.. I have some frozen ravioli

and meatballs..some spaghetti sauce..and well that sounds

good..Just put in the microwave and ok..time to hit publish,

race Dutch out to the kitchen and Say Nitey Nite ;-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? Luv ya!!! and Thanks :-)

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again....

~Some Great Places~

Most everywhere you travel through the Upper Peninsula the roads all

seem to try to be very scenic..with parks, and picnic tables. some have

outlooks so you can view the countryside. Some are along the rivers or

by a small lake, where ever they are they are used alot..The little parks

have bathrooms, some have maps so you can tell exactly where you

are, which believe me my Dad didn't need, he knew every road like the

palm of his hand, he loved living up there. That little box thing to the right

of my dad was one of the map things. These parks were well maintained

by the Parks Dept as you can see how nice and neat they are.. People

seemed to respect them and took care of these places which was nice

to see, but then we were so lucky to have such nice spots to stop along

the highways to rest or eat or whatever....

If you put these 2 photos together you can see how nice and big this

park was. It had a large parking lot and if you look closely you can

see a little house in the far background that is the bathroom..Some

of the tables were placed by barbeque grills. so you could even

cook if you wanted to. Many people did...Most of these rest areas

were just that where you could stop and even sleep, many of the

truckers and people on long trips used them for just that, as the

Highway Patrol made them safe as they did patrol them .

Lots of the places along the rivers were excellent for fishing or to

just sit and enjoy the day. You can see my parents sitting there

talking with my ex husband Willie. This I think was along the Paint

River, one of my dads favorite river for fishing...

Whenever my parents went for a ride, Mom always brought soda or

coffee and ALWAYS a snack . This is such a great spot by the

water, and I dont know why but it seems anything that you eat at a

picnic always tastes so wonderful, the outdoors always seems to

give a person more of an appetite I think..Good thing I was taking

the pictures.. or I would have been sitting there munching away at

the goodies I know are on that table...

What is so good to know is that these photos taken over 20 years

ago, that you can still travel those same highways today and see

these same parks and picnic areas and that they are still just as

beautiful today as they were then..and I know there are people

that are using and enjoying them just like we did such a long time

ago..

What is so nice if you notice..I think all of these great spots are all

accessible for a wheelchair, even though back then it wasnt a

major deal to make these places accessible for someone like me.

But as I look at these photos I see no barriers that would not let a

chair have access to any of the tables or bathrooms, which at the

times I was there I really had no reason to notice of course if they

were, I had NO idea that I would ever need to notice something

like that like I do now..

Today was a very quiet one.. I was good and took my meds like I

am supposed to.. As soon as I took the anti depressant within

about 45 minutes or so I had no choice but to take a nap. I put

my head down here by my computer and slept for 2 hours..I woke

up and felt fine, but still very tired.. This TIRED has to stop.. I dont

like the feeling at all.. Its time for me to get this show on the road

again..and finish up doing my apartment!!! I have curtains I need

to take down and wash ..and the closet in this bedroom, is a

total disaster. It needs organized.... This sitting back and being a

lazy sleepyhead weeble, well its getting old..and I need to get

back to ROLLIN...lol...

I think its time to ROLL out to the kitchen, see if I can beat Dutch

out there and hes already got a head start, hes a fast little buggar

lol...hes the happiest little cat...I have some treats out there I know

he wants..LB well he will tag along at his own pace, when he gets

good and ready and not before..hes such a Garfield...I sure would

be lost with out these two...We all say.. "Nitey Nite"... :-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya...and Thanks hey? :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again....

~Hectic Day~

What a hectic day.. I mean it is amazing..lol.. the man came to check out my power chair, I am hoping I can get an upgrade to one that raises up..and they said will recline.. Just the raising up will be such a treat.. I hope I can get one.. The man said they will have to take this one and see if it can be fixed, and if it cant then they will suggest and recommend that I get a new one..and one that raises up.. I sure hope so.. He checked the charger and said its bad, so thats one of the problems. I told him all the things that are wrong with this one, that it has never been programmed, he said THAT is NOT a good thing. I told him how it does the bursts of power and that it scares me to be in it, since I dont know when it will do this. It turns out Ive only had this 4 yrs..I got it when I moved in here in 2002.. so thats 4 yrs..not 5.. so I may not be able to get a upgrade ..they say every 5...I sure hope I can..to be up higher to do stuff in the kitchen what a treat.. So keep your fingers crossed.... THEN.. I called my Drs. office..this is good.. I talk to a girl there, told her what the Dr said 2 weeks ago about having a nurse come, for the blood work etc, and this girl says..well YOU will have to set all this up..we dont do that..and she gave me the phone number to call ..well of course there was a answering thing on it..and I had to leave a message..well I got upset and downright MAD,, I called my insurance lady, Deborah..that knows me..and told her what was going on..that they wanted ME to do all the work to set up a nurse..and I had NO idea who to call or how to go about it..Well she says "let me handle it Lois, I will take care of it".. a few minutes later the phone rings and its the Drs. office trying to cover their mistake and trying to make them selves look good.. They are NOW making all the arrange- ments that they should have made 2 weeks ago..I wonder how the doctor is going to feel about this since she wanted the blood tests done back then~!~ But hell..if Im going to do all this girls work there in that office well then give me her pay if she has no idea what shes doing.. This is just what I mean..they make excuses to cover their mistakes and mishandling of patients..What if this had been something really really serious which with Blood Pressure you never know..and they didnt do their job ..this could have been some thing very life threatening.. thank goodness it isnt, but what if I had really Needed to be monitored very carefully? Other than that.. I dont feel too bad today, this did get me upset..I was well VERY upset.. but Im better now.. Raelynn went to the store for me today and re stocked every thing for me and the boys. She is so nice to me..and I really enjoy her company as well, we get along really good, and the boys..specially Dutch love her..LB does too in his own way..hes such a Garfield..he is.. I should have named him that..lol.. Dutch is having a problem lately with his litter box ..he sits in the doorway ( its in the bathroom) and stares at it.. I have NO idea why..like ..hes just not sure whether to get in it or not..lol.. he does thank goodness but I just dont understand why he stares at it like he does..silly kid lol.. Rain all day today and I sure can tell it.. I do think this neurontin may help take the edge off some of the phantoms..It does not stop it by any means.. They are still there and my legs still feel short and cramped..but the stabbing pains I have not noticed like i had before. My feet still feel like I am on my tip toes..and they still feel cramped and smushed up as well.. I dont see a real change in that other than perhaps its not as severe..but the phantoms are still there..I am reminded EVERY day that they are..and I honestly dont think there will ever be a time when the phantoms will disappear.. maybe they will get less severe..but I honestly dont think they will stop.. I wish they would..but from all ive been told..they never go away.. not for any reason... Well its that time to race Dutch out to the kitchen.. he never gets nuthin when we race I think he just likes to see if he can beat me .. rotten child.. lol.. naaaah.. hes a good boy.. I got them some Pounce treats today and I will give them some when I get out there. they deserve a treat once in a while too..just like me!! lol. And we ALL love them treats..LOL.. time to say Nitey Nite... Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? Luv ya.. and thanks.. :-) Always, Lois **** God Bless you is my prayer today, I'm so honored to call you "friend"; I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again....

~Gonna Phone~

Well the start of another week. I am planning to phone my

Dr. first thing in the morning and find out why I have not

heard anything about the home nurse coming.. If the Dr.

wanted that blood work right away why hasnt the nurse or

the company that is sending one contacted me?.. I think

the nurse at the Drs. office maybe over looked that. I

should have been contacted by now.. I know that I will

mention to them the affect this anti depressant has on me.
I dont like the way it has slowed me down so drastically.

All I want to do is sleep.. And I have NEVER been like this

before. My other medication I used..it KEPT me up and

going.. gave me energy...and I enjoyed my time awake..I

have even noticed that I am remembering dreams..and I

dont like what I am dreaming even.. The dreams have not

been the best the past few days..

I know the blood pressure pills are working as its at a good

level ..goes up and down a bit..but not outrageously dangerous

I have a monitor and I take it every morning.. and its been ok..

The thyroid..part of the sleepyness could be from the Thryroid.

being back on the pills I should not be tired.. I wasnt before I went

back on them..I was fine..so I still think the sleepyness is from the

anti depressant.. its a new kind she said..Im on the middle dose

now..and next week go up to the higher..and I honestly dont know

if I want to go there. I will talk to the nurse or Dr. before I do tho I

do know that...

Before my mother committed suicide..she was on the anti depressant

Prozac.. I had no idea she was on it until after she died.. I know I can

just about tell you when she went on it tho.. as she changed so much..
she drove into a telephone pole.. into a snow bank.. couldnt tell time..

and worst of all hallucinated.. seeing ropes hanging in the windows...

and then she took her own life. I still say was that. She was put on that

by her former Dr when she felt the one she was seeing wasnt helping

her thru her depression at losing my Dad..She had such a hard time

accepting his death and I felt so sorry for her.. but there was nothing I

could really do for her.Other than be there every day like , we, my

ex and I would go over every single night to sit with her for a couple
hrs and watch tv or talk about what we did that day and it helped
her or so we thought.. which I guess it really didnt..she and my dad
were married for 56 years.. thats a long time.. then to suddenly be
with out the other. well it had to be hard and to even try to understand
thats like trying to understand or explain what its like to suddenly be
an amputee..you cant.

I havent eaten today, as usual and I thought . well I thought I had
better post while I was still awake enough to do it LOL. If I try to write

when I am really sleepy no telling what I would write lol. I do know I'M

hungry tho. maybe I will splurge and make my favorite since it is early

yet.. I havent had my fries n gravy in a while, sounds good too :-) but

then when dont they to me lol...I hope THAT day NEVER comes lol...

time to hit the publish and say Nitey Nite...

Y'all have a good one Y'hear? luv ya..and Thanks..

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again....

~Did OK~

I did pretty good most of the day today till about 3,

then I started to just go downhill and have felt really bad

since. I dont know what this crap is.. I go up and down

so bad its pathetic lol... I never know from one hour to

the next what I will feel like.. I hate that.. I took a nap for

about an hour half..and woke up in a sweat..and kinda

urpey.. well nauseous again..I just dont know if its the

pills or what it is.. Probly just me in a Snit lol..But draggin

myself on and off this chair a dozen times a day sure

takes a toll on me lol...

My girl Kelli went to see her grandparents in Wisconsin

for the week end so I hope she is careful driving..Its not

a real long drive, about 3 hours or so depending on

traffic...That drive through Chicago can be fast or slow

depending on what time you go, and which way you go,

to go the Skyway well .. sometimes that way can take

awhile if there is alot of traffic... Shes a good driver, but

its all the other ones I worry about lol...

Raelynn came today and we are all squeaky clean..

Dutch has a box that he just really likes..Hes had it for

awhile.. we keep threatening to throw it out but to look at

his little face when we say that..well we just cant.. He

scratches it and lays on it and plays with his toys by it

too.. He has such a "THING" about boxes and bags..Hes

so nosey..has to see everything..and just follows her where

ever she goes..good thing shes used to cats under her feet

or she would be stepping on him all the time..

I havent been online much this week..I think this is about

the first time I have been more Off line than on.. I still have

not heard a word about all that other crap and still dont have

a clue as to what is going on..I am really hoping its all over..

All this time I would think it has to be..3 weeks..how can they

come now and get me..I dont see how that is possible..but

then they can do anything they like it seems, which sometimes

what they get away with doesnt seem right..but they get away

with it..

Raelynn made some food for me and I still havent eaten so I

am going to go and eat a bit and hopefully it will stay where its

sposta lol... I sure hope it does. Dutch is waiting for me and I
will see if I can beat him out to the kitchen ..he always wins,

but he cheats and gets a head start lol..:-) Nitey Nite...

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya and thanks :-)

ALways,, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again....

~Strange Dream~

I had the strangest dream..It seems when I can remember

them I am always walking looking for something or some

one.. Last nites I was steady walking, and I was not an

amputee, I had legs. I dreamt that I was following a beach,

going along on the coast, then I came to a small town that

the little shops were side by side, situated on a hill over

looking the water, I kept on going looking for the street

that led down to it.. I would go into the different shops and

ask which street went down to the water, and ask the

people I ran into where I could sleep and stay, but no one

knew where such a place was. I would then find another

road and continue walking and walking until I then woke

up. Strange dream, It wasnt a place I really recognize

as ever having been, and I didnt know any of the people

I met either. I wonder what this dream meant? lol..Gee

maybe Im going on a holiday ? :-)

Its odd that I never dream, when I do of being an amputee.
I always have legs..I dont really know though if they are

real legs or prosthetics..all I know is that I walk around, I

have never dreamt that I can remember of being in a chair

even.. I cant say that in any of the dreams I remember that

I remember even seeing a wheel chair in them or going

anywhere and seeing any.. Isnt that strange,

There was no news today of any kind from anyone, In fact

my phone only rang and it was one of those telemarketers.

I am on that no call list but it doesnt seem to be in effect yet.
I sure wish it would hurry up.. I get so many of those all for

satellite or remodeling my home, or consolidating all my

credit cards .lol.. which I have NONE... I havent had one

of those since I left my ex and he kept it and had a good

time charging it up then giving it back to me. And of course

I got stuck with the payments since it was only in my name.

Needless to say I have never gotten another one.. Its

probly a good thing I havent gotten one specially when I see

all the great clothes and food on QVC, and they have had

some wonderful silk caftans on lately, some guy named

Anthony is the designer and they are just gorgeous.. and

the material is wonderful..

I have one silk caftan, which is like a big rectangle and the

arms and neckline are open its so comfortable.. I think one

of the last few photos I put here I Had it on..was very bright

gold and burgundy color.. silk of course.. Its amazing how

much easier it is to navigate and pull my self back and forth

out of my chair when I do wear silk.. I guess because the

cushion is nylon and slippery as well and makes the transfer

alot easier and less draggy on my clothes.. Silk works for

me better than anything ..and I do think it even looks nicer

to wear. I know I prefer it...

Today wasnt too bad a day, I honestly did not do anything..I

really didnt have anything to do other than email and I did

check out the local real estate places to see if maybe they

might have some HUD houses possibly.. I had thought of

perhaps writing a small piece to put into the paper that I was

looking for a small house to rent..and that I was a good tenant

and paid rent.. The man next door and his stereo, I think its

his grandson that comes to take care of him that is blasting

it.. I know its getting very old.. I dont know what the commotion

in the hall was I still havent heard..but at 1 am that was NOT

a good time to drag a fight out there especially by MY door,

kinda makes me nervous.. I have NO idea who it was that

was fighting out there .. all I know is they were mad, and

arguing back and forth... I think it might have been from the

other apt on the other side of me.. Great place hey?

Well I didnt eat lunch was rice with some chicken wrapped

around some cheesey stuff and tomatoes..not really some

thing I like..so I think I will go and make my favorite since

it is the week end almost and I think I deserve a treat..I ve

been good all week..well how could I NOT have been good?

I slept the whole thing just about.. My sis called last nite, she

was a little worried, she knows me all too well and can tell

by my voice how I really feel..was nice of her to call.. she is

so happy, she is remodeling her whole house and just a

happy camper..Stanley, well hes doing all the work.. so I

dont know how happy he is.. Thats what happens when you

retire that Honey Do list gets kinda long..lol...

Time to race Dutch out to the kitchen and hes already got a

head start hes sitting in the door way waiting to see when I

push this chair away from this computer then hes off and

running and the race is on.. Time to publish and say

Nitey nite...

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again....

~I Made It, Im Here~

I am late tonite but I have not felt good all day. I think

getting used to pills again is the problem.. I didnt sleep

well last nite at all..I guess I must have off and on as the

night did go by. I got up this morning and I did feel good

for a while, even ate breakfast, which I usually dont, but

It says to take these pills with food which is one of the

reasons I ate.. Shortly after I took my pills, about an hour

or so I started to get extremely tired and nauseous, and

went back to bed. I stayed there dozing off and on today

until about 7 and here I am.. I have not missed a day

since I started this..and well I am trying very hard Never

to miss one, even if I only write a few lines...

I did get a call today that they will be here monday to fix my

power chair, they seem to think its just the batteries, but I

dont as they were just put in last year.. I think it may be the

charger is bad or else there is something else wrong that

it wont charge up.. Raelynn did find where to disengage

the batteries so the chair can be pushed and moved it into

the spare bedroom.. I am curious to see what is wrong with

it since I have had trouble with this chair ever since I got it.

It still does the bursts of power which is not good..

I havent heard from my Drs. office yet when the nurse is due

to come which I guess I should call tomorrow and find out.

I honestly dont know if it is the pills causing this feeling or

not..Ive taken all of these before except for the anti depressant

shes given me.. They are to be gradually increased, and if

this low dose is affecting me like this I do not want to go to

the higher.. I dont like the feeling these give me at all.. I have

given these a week now..and I have not felt good since I have

started taking them.. If and when this nurse comes I will tell her.

The Dr. said to call her in 2 weeks to let her know how I am

doing on this so I may just talk to her instead and let her know

now how they are affecting me.. I just dont like this feeling..

I havent been on line all day today, well I was this morning to

check mail about 8 and logged off until a short while ago..so

I do have some mail to check.. My boys have been just hovering

today and sticking to me like glue..I think they know when mom

just doesnt feel good.. I know this is a shorty but..well.. I promised

I would write every day so.. I am.. Not alot happened today with

this sickly weeble so this post is kinda dull.. but here I am, and

I am headed back to that bed over there with a nice big bottle

of ice water and hopefully that will make me feel better..So Im

finding the publish and saying Nitey Nite...

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? Luv ya!!! and Thanks :-)

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again....

~Lookin Good~

My dining room and living room look SO nice!!! Raelynn worked

so hard today bless her heart.. She yelled at me for doing it yesterday.

But well she knows me, If I see something Im gonna try to get it or

do it..lol.. But it looks just wonderful in there I am so pleased..all thats

really left to do is wash the pictures on the wall.. If I feel ok tomorrow I

will put some polish on my cedar chest.. I had a ton of stuffed animals
I had gotten when I was in the hellhome..I gave them to Rae, her sons

house burnt down and the kids lost most everything..and theres a little

girl..about 7 or so I think ..and so I told Rae to see if she might like to

have some of them they are so cute and were my buddies :-).

When I was in the hellhome.. I had all these stuffed animals at the foot

of my bed..when I would hallucinate I imagined them staring at me..

that they really were people. I would talk to them..but they never would

answer ~!~ lol The one of all my stuffed animals..was a white cat..she

looks real..they took her from me when I came home from hospital they

said I had too much in my room was a fire hazard so they went thru it

while I was not there and packed it up..When I got out of hospital and

got back to the hellhome I was so upset my animals were gone..they

took my favorite blankets..some of the things I used to do..books etc..

all because they said I had too much in my room..It was them just being

mean..I cried and told my sister. She came the next day, and needless

to say I had my things back while she was there.. when they handed

me my white cat back I held her so close and cried. I used to talk to her

and hold her.she was real to me..and I love this cat..even though its only

stuffed she looks so real. I will never forget how cruel they were to me..

They had no right to just go into my room pack up what they wanted

I think they just wanted to go thru my things. They hated me there..all

because I would tell of the mistreatment we got..

Yesterday I was so tired I couldnt stand myself.. ALL I wanted to do was

sleep.. I fell asleep here at my computer even.. I guess I just push myself

and then ALL this stress I just am NOT handling it like I know I should.
My sister called last nite to check on me..which was really nice of her ,

she is having so much trouble with a rash on her leg..I told her to be sure

to keep a close eye on them.. Worries me.. I think she would have a real

hard time adjusting if she lost a leg.I really do.I pray that doesnt happen

to her..but she is a diabetic..and now with this rash ..I worry ..and she is

a tad overweight as well which doesnt help.. But was nice of her to call

and check on me.. I still have heard nothing..and I havent heard about

when a nurse will come. I called about my power chair and they will let

me know when they can come out to fix it or replace it.. Its 5 years so

they may get me a new one I dont know..

I am trying to get used to these new pills.. I am not sure if its them that

is kickin my butt and making me so tired or its just all this awful stress

just finally saying "ok Lois, lets unwind and get calmed down" and

making me sleep..I guess its a good way to get caught up and unwind..
i still have this hanging over me..and I honestly DONT know what to do

about it..well all I can do is just wait for the ball to fall.. I am going to get

that paper back from Chiris tho saying I was going to move from here

in 30 days..we did that just because of HUD..incase I did get evicted

which I havent heard a word from him today either and I know hes in

the building..so I guess Im home free but I wish they would tell me...
These pills have kept my blood pressure at a reasonable level not the

best..but its not bad either.. I take it twice a day to keep a check.. I can

almost tell when it goes up, I get a headache..and get very tired too..so

I think all these things combined that are finally getting to me.. When

the nurse comes she will monitor me alot closer I guess...

Well I am kinda hungry lunch was a pork chop and scalloped potatoes

that were not even cooked..still raw.. wasnt the best lunch..so I need a

small snack ..but I dunno what I want..so I guess its the old "seek and

ye shall find" routine.. and I KNOW theres something good out there..

lol .. Id really be slipping if there wasnt now wouldnt I? lol..Nitey Nite.

Y'all have a good one now y'hear? luv ya... and thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again....

~A Favorite Person~

This is one of my favorite relatives..taken when she was VERY young.. She sadly died at very young age, in her 50's..of cancer. This was my Aunt Lillian, my mothers sister.. I loved to go to her house..It seemed to always be full of laughter..She loved to laugh and found the good side of things..was open and honest and was happy with the world.. When we would take the drive to the small little town where she lived and she was not home..we knew to go down by the river..and she would always be there fishing.. She LOVED to fish..and was VERY skilled at it.. She was married to my Uncle Jerry, and had 2 children that sadly I never really got to know as they were older than me and when I would go and visit her usually they were gone doing their "thing".. A visit to Aunt Lillian meant a cup of tea..and of course cookies. The time I spent with her ..I honestly think she taught me to always smile and look for the good, enjoy life, I mainly remember the laughter and how funny she was ..always joking around and happy.. I loved going to visit her..when she lived by us..usually every saturday when I made the trek to town I made a point to stop and see her..She put the laughter in side me I feel. to see the good..and not to dwell on the bad, she felt she had no time for that..she enjoyed her life..and especially the times she spent on that river bank.. I will never forget her ... Its so nice to remember people that have influenced our lives.. I think almost every one of my relatives (moms side) were happy..always joking around . The family gatherings seemed always to be happy, laughter and happy times, I think my grandparents put that into them, They had it very rough..living thru all those hard times back then raising 8 children on a miners salary.. My grandfather came over from the UK, he was a miner there and he and his 2 brothers came over here to the USA and Upper Michigan to work the copper and Iron Ore mines ...IT was not an easy life..According to my mother there was always music, and laughter at home..and I really think that was even an influence on me when I would eagerly go to spend those week ends with them.... Today, I was arranging my freezer, sitting in front of it.. I heard this sound of paper rustling..and looked up to see Dutch on top of it..trying to grab a bag I had in there on a shelf.. the next thing I know I feel claws digging into my chest as this cat FELL off the top !!!!! the scratches hurt ..but I had to laugh..Dutch hit me , then bounced off me so fast and hit the floor at a dead run and took off ..I looked at him and the look on his face was "WHAT THE HECK??" he sat and just stared at me lol.. I bet he doesnt do that again for awhile.. lol... I tried to cut some of the fuzzies off the carpet again..and I have found that either my arms are getting shorter or my stomach is getting bigger! lol I am hoping it is that my arms are getting shorter :-)... Its harder to reach the floor.. I did get quite a few cut off out there in the living room, and it does look better ..but I did find it took a bit more effort to reach.. that I am not bending in half as easily :-) it HAS to be that my arms are shrinking hehehe..well THATS my story anyway ,, and Im stickin to it lol...My living room is looking very nice..a few more little touch ups and I will be pleased with it.. I have worked hard today and I am sort of tired tonite and will turn in early..I woke at 4 am..but I did, well I had no choice i think..take a nap after I took my pills again.. they just kick my butt and ..well I have to take them..My blood pressure is still a little high but not worrysome.. i take it every morning.. I did call to get my power chair fixed as well Ive been trying to charge it for 2 days now and it will not take a charge. Hopefully they will decide to upgrade me..its been 5 years..so I may be eligible for a new one.. that would be nice...This weeble is tired..and its time to hit publish and say Nitey Nite. .. Y'all have a good one Y'hear ? Luv ya..and thanks.. :-) Always, Lois **** God Bless you is my prayer today, I'm so honored to call you "friend"; I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again....

~Cleaning, Cleaning~

Raelynn came today and boy did we get alot done..My apt.

sure looks nice.. Not so cluttery.. I have a tv in my living room

that I need to have taken out..It works..but its so old that Its not

worth having, as it doesnt pick up cable or anything..So Im going

to get rid of it.. I need a place for the humidifier any way. I am

really pleased at how nice its looking.. I should make some new

curtains for under the sink as well it would really help to brighten

and look nicer.. Alot of things we put away today and Rae washed

off alot of the smaller pieces I have and I had fun straightening out

my drawers..they were really a mess and now at least I can find

what I am looking for..


Needless to say, all this was strenuous on my arms..I just couldnt

do alot and the muscles underneath the upper part of my arm

hurt from having to hold them up since the counter top is so high

even the drawers when I open them come right to my arm pits..

theyre really high..and to keep my arms up doing stuff just makes

them ache..They get enough of a work out just moving this chair

50 times just to do one little thing..If my front wheels are aiming the

wrong way well its wheel this way wheel that way to get in the

direction your going.. And to carry something in one hand doesnt

work cuz then you just go around in circles..you have to keep changing

hands..to wheel each one to be able to go straight..


We were going to move my power chair into my sewing room but

it has totally drained which it shouldnt have done..so I have it charging

in the dining room.. They said I can get a new one maybe this year,

so maybe I can get one that works half way right and doesnt have a

mind of its own like this one does.. They said it wasnt programmed

before they delivered it whatever that means.. All I know is it did

and still does power spurts and goes so fast..well I have dents in my

wall to prove it lol...

OH..some have said they dont know what some of the signs are here

that I use like lol..or :-) the lol..means to laugh out loud, and this is just

a smiley face..:-) or this is too :-D.. its the older version they used

for computers before the yellow smileys came out.. the sign with the

;-) is a wink.. and this is a kiss.. * I cant think of any others I use..

if there are any that you dont understand just write to me and I will try

to tell you what they are. I think thats mostly what I use tho.but well I

do have a tendency to forget..

Was so funny today, Raelynn talks very softly and she can stand right

next to me and im sayin "what? what?" lol I think Im going deaf lol No,

I have a broken ear drum on that side..and plus..Im blind in that eye as

well I explained to her if she comes up to me on that side I wont see

her until she taps me on the shoulder, and I probly wont hear her lol..

Well I am really pooped we worked hard today and It really looks nice

in here.. I am going to get a pudding and go and lay and see how long

I can watch tv before I fall asleep..These pills are making me really

draggy.. So Im off to raid the fridge..nitey nite :-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear ? Luv ya ..and thanks.. :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again....

~Im Being Good~

Ive been good taking my pills, I took them at noon I was late

today. A little while after I took them I HAD to take a nap..I

was sitting here are realized I had fallen asleep here at the

keyboard. It has to be the tranquilizers or something.. Ive not

fallen asleep like this since I have been in the hellhome.. These

are really good..just put me right to sleep..I took my BP when I got

up and its just fine...so thats not a worry but this tiredness has to

be the anti depressant I dont know if I like this..and shes going to

increase the dose? Over 3 weeks its to be increased.. When the

nurse comes to help I will know more..I bet tomorrow I will get the

call setting up the nursing visits, and I will tell her..

I didnt do a whole lot of anything today talked to a dear friend for a

while. which I always enjoy.. and looked that photo up top totally

checking it out.. There are 3 women perhaps..we figured one was

a child or something as the are not in order on the tombstone. The

dates on it are extremely old..We inspected it very carefully trying

to guess who or what and why did I have this photo? The tombstone

is wonderful..but if you examine the photo it looks like it is sitting on

a slab of something..and there is a pile of dirt next to it.. And look at

the flowers on there they look dead and bent, and the names and

years of death they're not in order.. Its an interesting photo..we

discussed it thoroughly..was fun and I enjoyed trying to figure out what

was what on it.. I have no idea about it at all ...but was fun trying to

guess at everything..:-)

Its amazing how this friend and I can talk about anything at all

its so nice not to have to watch my words and feelings..to be

able to share every detail of my life, talk about anything else

that we happen to think of..news stuff or things we've done..

adult feelings and emotions..there is not one subject that is

taboo for us to talk about and discuss..and we find that is just

the most wonderful thing..and I think so too.. We are both

extremely honest with each other and we say how we really

feel about the subjects we talk about.. which not alot of people

can actually say they can do.. I have been told before that I am

very easy to talk to..and that they do enjoy the fact that they CAN

discuss what ever feelings they have about any thing in the

world.. I enjoy that too.. I find being honest..and open,, and saying

what I think is one of the reasons someone can talk to me so

openly about anything.. I like it..especially the honesty part...if

you cant be honest and say what you think and feel well then why

talk to someone..

I dont mind discussing my amputations..and how they really feel

I think I have told things here that not too many have said.. But ,

well its me.. I dont mind.. I have not a thing to hide being an

amputee is just a way of life..I have lost 2 legs..yes.. and I dont

mind telling just how NOT fun this is.. and what it feels like to be

like this, and how I got this way and why..I think the most interesting

thing that most ask is just what it feels like, and the problems I

face daily.. and how hard this life really is..LORD is ever !!! :-)

but its doable.. Some days..wow..I mean I actually .. honestly

HATE this chair and being in it.. when that is not true ... I really love

it and am SO very grateful I have it!!! Id be stuck for sure..I would

be bed bound and I wont do that.. until I just cannot get around at

all..Im steady doing something..

Speaking of doing something..well.. I did something.. And I was so

pleased with the reaction I got ..Last nite I phoned my ex mother in

law ,, Karalee.... I told her I had some things of Davids here and I

would like to get them to him.. She was SO happy I phoned..and

scolded me for not being in touch all this time..That she had tried to

find me..but forgot my sisters last name and didnt have the vaguest

idea how to reach me.. Said she thought of me all the time..She

has many many memories there at her house to remind her of me

that I made especially for her..I asked how David was and he is

not doing the greatest.. that he is married to a Mexican woman

and has a daughter.. David will make a wonderful father..he LOVES

children.. But sadly she said he is NOT in the greatest of shape ..

I was so saddened to hear that he has gone down hill.. BUT I

was so pleased with Karalees reaction and I am so glad I finally

did phone her.. I also phoned his sister at Karalees request.. She

said "We still love you Lois, you were a part of our family for a long

time, and we still love you, please call Jen and say hello" I guess

Jen is having a bit of a rough go..and will be going to the Mayo

clinic soon..Karalee..and Jen will be up to visit as soon as possible

she said..and I have to admit ..I am SO GLAD they are coming here.

NOW do Raelynn and I have our work cut out for us..I want this place a

bit more than squeaky..I need PERFECT lol..No not really they wont

notice..but I want it that way so they see i really am ok.. She said how

worried they have been since they found out I am in the condition

im in and were very worried about me.. I was so GLAD I called..I was

so afraid all this time they were mad at me.. what a wonderful phone

call that was..

Well its time to take the last of my pills and I Have gone on long

enuff its time to end this post and find that publish button.. I havent

eaten today and I do need something..So I will raid my freezer and

see what I can find, I have NO idea what I am hungry for..I know

one thing that sounds good..NO NO not my fav, fries n gravy either..

a good Peanut butter n jelly sandwhich with banana slices on it..I

love that.. its really good..That was all I ate for a long time when I

was in hospital my sis told them all I would eat was Tomato soup

and a PB & J sandwich lol..was true too.. I have the PB & J but

no banana.. :-(..I will find something good..I have NO doubts LOL..

Time to say Nitey Nite...and sweet dreams...

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? I luv ya and Thanks.. :-)

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again....

~I'm Early Today~

My Dolly Kelli came by today and I got to meet her husband. This is the first time I met him, and he & Kelli have been married 2 or 3 years now..He seems Very nice his name is Jorge... Pronounced Hor Hey . I had another Spanish friend with the same name but we called him George. But he seems very responsible and works hard. Hes Mexican, but Kelli speaks fluent Spanish,, very good at it.. Shes so smart, going for her masters degree in accounting? Im not sure..Kelli is Donnies own daughter then he has 2 step daughters he raise while he was married to their mother..They each have a baby,,well Nikki's Cameron is almost 2 i think. Amber just had Kristin maybe 3 months ago..So Im a Great Gran.~!!! I gave them a bunch of food..They are babysitting Donnies house and he left for a race somewhere for the weekend and he always takes everything and then theres nothing left there for Kelli & Jorge. They were happy I gave them all kinds of goodies..The kids liked them..Cameron is such a doll..Kelli is keeping him the week end and her niece Trina..shes 4 i think... Ive still not heard anything. I still dont know if they are coming or not and I have decided to just not worry about it..when Chris gets here on wednesday I will ask him about it..Hes pretty good about telling me.. so maybe he knows something..I dont want him to call cuz they might think they should pursue it then..That Fire Inspector ive found out VERY few people like him.. I dont lol..I know what i would like to do with that phone of his lol... cool and rainy today and boy can I feel it..My stumps when I woke up this am ..wow They felt so heavy and really ached.thats what woke me up..Its still sticky in here tho..My electric bill was almost 100.oo this month but I have no choice I have to keep it on..We lost power the other day for about 3 hrs..and by the time it came back on I sure needed my AC.. Ive decided to start doing some major changing and packing and selling some of the antiques I have.. I have only Donnie to leave my things to and they would not care really that something was my moms or grandmas..So why not sell them to someone that is a collector and would appreciate them for what they are.. I have some figurines and vases, dishes etc. that Im sure would get some money then I could perhaps take that holiday I want to take.. I am seriously thinking of taking the train to Boston.I think that would be a great ride..but It will take me awhile to build up enough..Raelynn said she would go with me. which i am glad..I would feel better if someone was with me..just in case..safe is better than sorry.. I can feel the affects of these pills..This anti depressant is one that is a gradual increase in dose..but I dont feel any different..but my blood pressure has dropped..and is at a good level.. well I am not worried about it being as high as it was yesterday..Its so funny when I tell the nurse its gonna be high..then she takes it and almost freaks out..lol. I watch her face as she is taking it..and you can see the look of "ohoh" on it.. I did wake up with a bad sore throat tho..I hate them..I havent had one in a long time.. Well time for me to roll over to that bed..no kitchen duty tonite.. I didnt eat much today not with this throat but im not hungry..Raelynn got some great little juicy things and they are really good, ive been drinking them. I bet I lost 10 pounds with all this stress....thats not a bad thing lol.. Time to hit publish and say Nitey Nite.. Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? Luv ya!! and thanks :-) Always Lois **** God Bless you is my prayer today, I'm so honored to call you "friend"; I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until I write again....

~I'm Late but I'm HERE!!! ~ :-)

Bet ya thought I was a gonner Im posting so late tonite. Ive

been down in the dumps really bad..but well I have really

made some decisions and I have to start to do something..

And only I can do it. While I was in the living room today I

noticed my pillow and I LOVE it. You see the Picture of the pillow.

I made that pillow when I was in the first rehab, before I left everyone

signed it for me.. . all the nice things everyone said to me.. It was a

good place..and they took good care of us..some of the residents

(what they called us , not patients lol) were a little out of it tho..They

put up some kind of decoration on our door..and this old guy went

down the hall room to room taking them all of the doors.. He walked so

shakey .. He would kind of stagger looking like he was going

to fall..like he was bouncing off the walls..when he hit the doors

he would take the decorations.. Was fun watching , he was like

someone that was in a pin ball machine bouncing around..

What they said on this pillow is so sweet and so nice. It wasnt

bad there, I had a room mate and she was so sweet, named

Robin she was a good roomie..There was hardly any room left

as everyone signed even the man that ran the place tracked me

down said "Lois, I HAVE to sign your pillow.. They really liked

me there..They told me I made it a Happy place..I really tried to..

It was not anything like the hellhome they sent me to.. I wish I

could have stayed there but it was in Indiana and I am a

resident of Michigan. I had to come to a place here and thats

when the brought me up here to the hellhome..

.

You can see all the writing to me..I was so pleased that everyone

would miss me.. I did like it there.. it was so much better than the

hellhome.. you can read some of what was written to me.. they all

seemed to really like me there..I made alot of them smile..I wish

I could have stayed there..wasnt too bad. I had many friends there,

there were alot of people my age and amputees.. I know of 3 DAKs

that were there..and now I am one..

I love the one below.. on the edge.. isnt that just too cute.

Doug was the maintenance man.. and a cutie too . :-)

There were many there that were in really bad shape..and the

Physical Therapy guy.. wow I never minded going to that..lol...

I love this pillow and I keep it on the back of my couch.. I

went and got it and read all the encouraging things it says.. THe

state Ive been these almost 2 weeks . It has to end.. I cannot

stand the pressure.. I am hoping the pills help..but I wont really

know for a few days.. I did forget to call and get my nitro filled.. I

will call and on Monday Raelynn maybe can pick up the nitro..

This rehab was really good..but while I was in there I had good

therapy, which really wasnt doing me any good it didnt save my

legs..when I left this rehab and went to the hellhome 'was jumping

from the frying pan into the fire..

Was a very up and down day..I did get alot done..But I am tired and
I think its time to shut this puter down and roll over to my bed and I

get to see my Dolly tomorrow, Kelli Phoned and is coming in the

morning..She and her husband are babysitting Donnies (her dads )house

to care for the dog and cat, Donnie and Dawn are going to some

nascar race.. I forgot the name of it or where it is.. Hes a AVID fan

of Nascar.. I honestly think he really cried when Dale Ernheart got

killed..what a sad day for all the fans.. He was the greatest.. Hes very

missed..I heard every time you think of someone who has passed that

they get a star in their crown in Glory...I bet he has many many in his..

I know my parents do too..

I am tired and going to bed..The pills I feel nothing so.. I hope I sleep,

the boys are confused Ive not been up at the computer this late in a

long time.. So its time to say Nitey Nite.,

Y'all have a good one now Y'here? Love ya and thanks.. :-)

Alwqys Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today

I'm so honored to call you "Friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~I WENT !~

I did it lol.. I made it to the Dr. and back home in 2 half hours LOL..

I got there and the nurse says, "what are you doing here?, your

appointment is the 24th." i said "you said thursday", she says" ya,

the 24th! but i'll see if we can still see you" And they did.. I was

glad..wow..I'll be honest my first thought was..'I aint coming back

again now'..to myself.. So anyway, I now have 4 different kinds of

pills again..thyroid, and BP, which was EXTREMELY high..(really

was lol) and nurontin AGAIN.. and a new anti depressant..Yippeee..

lol. so here I go back on the pill routine..:-( ..

I read the paper that comes with the pills for the anti depressant..

it says: Before using this medicine warning..antidepressant medicines

may increase the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors in children

and possibly adults who have severe depression or other mood

disorders.. Now isnt that just Ducky!!! lol...and I have to gradually

increase the dosage a week at a time..hmmmm.. I wonder if I will

be able to write anything legible here after 4 weeks on them ! :-)

sure is a scarey thing to read tho... makes you wonder about some

of these kids that are on this kind of stuff because they are sort of

overactive, and the suicide rate is pretty high with kids.. Makes you

wonder. I still swear Prozac made my mother commit suicide..she

was fine till she got on that CRAP. On that for 3 months and they

were hauling my mothers body out of the river where she drowned

herself 8 months after my Dad died. No one will ever convince me

other wise on that..I saw the effects. I didnt have a watch, I asked the

time..she said its "1, 2, 3, 4.. it was 12:34 noon.. I didnt pick up

on it.. or the hallucinations she had..But then I didnt KNOW she

was on that CRAP..

According to my Dr. I do have to start having a home health nurse

start to come and check me out I think once a month. To monitor

this Blood Pressure and meds.. I really dont like that..but well she

feels this is necessary.. So I am waiting to see what and when..

She wanted me to come back in a day or so and go and have a

blood test and I asked if they could come to my home..and she

said yes..so I dont have to go there for that..They will all call and

let me know..

I was kinda mad sitting in that waiting room..chairs all in a U

shape and 2 in the center..I rolled in there and there was not

that first spot to conveniently put my chair and me out of the

way..I had to sit sideways In front of everyone else in there. I got

to chatting with everyone in the waiting room I always do that ..

well hell Im so conspicuous being stuck out there like that why

not? I chatted to a real nice lady and she even said she noticed

that as her mother I think she said is in a chair..that these Drs

offices and even hospital waiting rooms there is not a special

place for a chair!!! Now. .come on..A DOCTORS office.?. the

nurse comes and gets me..pulls me backwards into the back

part of the office and they had to move a scale and some other

things for my chair to get thru..WHY do they NOT take this into

consideration.They just dont seem to realize that it draws even

MORE attention to us that is NOT what we want, a chair is one

thing everyone stares at anyway but to make us be even MORE

obvious? I wasnt pleased and told them about it..I asked if I

was their only wheel chair patient.. she said "No".. I dunno ..but

see? just makes me wanna go back dont it? :-)

Ive still not heard about all this other crap I still have NO idea if

its dropped or what and I just have to say its dropped I just

cant keep dealing with this every day.. I cant.. it has to end.. If

they DO come well I just will have to deal with it then, this daily

worry ..I just cant do it anymore..Im a basket case now.. Maybe

these tranquilizers will help, theyre new.. so I dont know.. I have

to call tomorrow tho and remind them that they forgot to renew

my Nitroglycerin.. I need to have that.. This past week or so I

did have to take one a couple times, and they are the only

thing that does help the chest pains sometimes.. and I do get

them.. so anyway..............

I am SO tired.. not hungry I had the driver stop and get a burger

for me at Burger King and well its already gone thru if you wanna

know :-) Gawd.. I just tell EVERYTHING...well inquiring minds

wanna know LOL.. Im tired, been up most of the night and so

were the boys..we need to lay it down..Theyre over there waiting

for me ..:-) Im hittin the Publish, (hope it works , blogger has been

a buggar lately) and sayin Nitey Nite...

Y'all have a good one Y'hear? I LUV ya.. and THANKS!!!! :-)

Always,,, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~Is It Done?~

No news again today..I am trying to convince my self this is

all done and settled.. I was even afraid to check my mail lol..

for fear be something in there-- court or something.. I dont

how long I can really stand this.. I think before I go totally nuts
I just have to convince myself that this is done.. I cant get a

lawyer to tell me anything.. And I sure aint gonna call the police

and ask when are you coming to arrest me.. Im between such

a rock and a hard spot here.. I am seriously making plans to

find a new place to live.. really.. I think THAT would be to my

advantage.

I have a Drs. appt. tomorrow.at 930 they will be here to pick me

up and I will tell her the whole sordid story well maybe Ill print it

out save me alot of breathe lol.. I was honest with the nurse and

I told her I just dont know what to do and I figure the Dr. would be

the best one to tell me health wise, I honestly hate to go back on

pills but I cant risk going thru this again..NOW.. I will NEVER

again have anything here..But ..To be totally honest..and if you

know me at all I am honest to a fault..and I refuse to lie..But if

I can get ONE as in 1 , well.. I will use it..but no one..will EVER

find anything here again..not inside this apt anyway...but thats

the honest truth..and I will NOT lie about it. they can send dogs

xray what ever..they will find NOTHING here.. its in ME lol..no

but seriously.. It helps me.. and thats the truth.. and I will tell my

Dr. this.. I will NOT take all those useless pills she had me on

before.. I wont..they did nothing ..the constant try this lets go to

a higher dose blah blah blah..what THAT did to me.. Its awful...

but I will listen to her..and see what she can come up with as

long as it doesnt mean I have to go OUT constantly ... I worry

that she may find other things wrong when I go..and I am really

NOT ready to deal with anything else going wrong..so hopefully

this will be the only issue tomorrow..but I will go.Ill be ready when

the Coa comes to get me ... YOu have got to be tired of readin

about this STRESSED out weeble lol and all my bloomin CRAP lol

Ahhhh I dunno..but this GORGEOUS whiney weeble needs to get

her CRAP in a box so to speak and get her life back on track..and I

tell ya.. what a fight.. now I had my legs? well fooey..well I wouldnt be

here then would I? lol...Id miss all these friends Ive made tho..so I

cant say that this happening to me is a TOTALLY bad thing.. I have

some of the dearest friends now..that I didnt have b4..so this isnt

THAT bad..just well ....hmmm. HARDER lol :-) and I guess that just

means I have to try harder.hell I cant quit now can I ? that would look

just too cute ..naaa I aint a quitter.. nope..not me..i'll stick out the RUN

so to speak..ok ok ROLL :-)

Well Raelynn was here bright and early and we are squeaky again..

we havent been too messy...so she didnt have alot to do..she went

and got the boys some food so they dont run out..Just to be safe..

Dutch and LB both played with her today.. Im trying to stay calm..I

am nervous about going out tomorrow tho.. and I really hate to go out

and leave them alone I dont want them upset that mom is gone..I

hope the Dr visit doesnt take long so I can get back..I know LB will

howl..so ill call Penny and tell her I will be gone and not to worry if

she hears them howling which I KNOW they will..THey have not been

separated from me since I got them longer than to go down the hall

or when they went for 6 hrs to be neutered..Theyre spoiled lol...well

everyone spoils their kids dont they? lol..

Time to go and get a soda..and I tried to eat but..well..was lunch and

it was a breaded meat thing with gravy..and so far well I think about

half is gone already lol.. and Im not sure the rest will stay IN lol.:-)

now you needed to KNOW that i KNOW!!! :-)

well we are still here..and I hopefully will be back tomorrow night..If

theres something anyone feels like asking me..leave a comment and

ask..or send me a email to the lovelylittlelegs@gmail.com address

Ill answer you.. ok? ok..time to say Nitey Nite..

Y'all have a good one Y'hear? Love ya! and thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~A Place~

A happy place, that you can go back to when things are bad,that's what
this place surely is. One of them.This is Agate Falls.Lovely spot, up
in the same area as Bond Falls, up in the Great North Woods of home.

The falls are not as long I believe, as Bond but but beautiful

We would make the round trip if we started out early enough

in the morning and drive to Bond Falls first, make that hike down

one side and up the other then travel another hour perhaps, its

been so long, I forget, but we then go here to these.. They are

farther north and a bit east but if im not mistaken the same River,

the Ontonagon River goes from these Agate falls to Bond.

You can see the road as it goes over the falls, its a great view

from up there as well..

To get to the falls you pull off the highway to the parking area

and there is a great walkway under the bridge and down along

the side of the falls.. Its a beatiful walk on a nice hot day as the

path isnt too far from the side and if the wind is blowing right

you can feel the mist hitting you as you walk.. There are ferns

and depending on the time of year that you make this trek there

could be flowers in the forest there.. Remember this is out in

the middle of the Ottawa National Forest.

Most of the places in the UP are Indian Names, and they all fit

perfectly. When you leave Bond Falls before you start the ride

to Agate..there is a small old timey general store at the fork

in the road.. You see the red gasoline truck I think in the back

look at the name the full name is Gitche Goomie ..See those ice

cream cones? Talk about some good ice cream..well you see

the smiles on their faces.. After I took this photo Willie, my 2nd

husband took a HUGE lick out MY ice cream cone hes holding

then handed it to me !!!! The stinker.. This was a great treat on

a hot day..The Ice Cream was home made too.. I had strawberry.

Look at the size of them, I can almost taste those luscious things.

Ive been so down and upset and all waiting to hear and can you

believe I still dont know? I can only assume that this is ended..how

can they come back and say "oops..we forgot to arrest you." I

sure hope they cant.but now that Ive talked to Donnie I am so much

less stressed.. I still am keeping my Drs. appt on thursday as this

anxiety has NOT left.. I still cant keep anything down and I spent

a little while on my toidy again last nite.I HAD to try those tomatoes

that Raelynn brought I just couldnt stand seeing them there. So I cut

one up and put it in a bowl and savored EVERY bite.

Going thru and getting these photos out sure helped take me to these

great spots and times..RJ you were very right.. I Love all my photos

and the places they can take me ..these rides back thru home sure

help..See how good I looked back then? I was GORGEOUS then

and I STILL am lol.. I HAD to say that...:-) I know I will be SO glad

when my system finally settles down.. draggin this weebly whiney

GORGEOUS butt off and on my bed 50 times a night..well FEELS

like that many, by the time its the 4th time lol..is getting VERY old...

I am so ready to calm it ALLLLL down..and just get back to runnin

into walls and racing Dutch into the kitchen every nite. He's almost

himself..hes playing again..LB hes still stickin to me like glue..sat in

the bathroom with me the whole time lol :-) Poor baby LOL..

Thanks for all your calls and mail and hearing from new friends.Time

to hit that publish button and say Nitey Nite..

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? Luv Ya and Thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

Keep those prayers coming they always work :-)

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...

~Arrangements Gettin Made~

Still no news..and I have no idea what is happening..I did start

to make some serious arrangements..I phoned lawyers today,

and of course found no one that will handle a criminal case..

not for free anyway..cheapest estimate is 1500.oo.. I called

legal aid , public defender which is legal aid and they wont

touch criminal either..its find a lawyer and pay... So any way

that got me no where, I wanted one for that but also about this

abuse by not knowing this is awful..why did they not tell me

ok..this is the end of it..no charges..your life can go on? they

didnt and Ive been here for a week losing my mind for worry

that I will lose my apt..and Rent subsidy..This is cruel and

in human.. All the stress its caused me.. Im scared to death

here. The poor lady from the COA just dropped by to check

on me..like she usually does every 3 or 4 months..and I heard

that knock..usually she calls..but was by here and decided to

come by..well I heard that knock..wasnt expecting anyone and

I almost lost it. .I looked through peek hole saw her and let

her in..she was so surprised , her first words were are you OK?

lol I mean I must have look terrified.. scared her, bless her

heart.. lol.. I explained it all to her.. she understood..she deals

with this alot.. I am NOT alone in this issue..many do this..

Just dont get caught..

I phoned my doctor, earliest I can get in is the 28 they said..I

explained whats going on..and they connected me to another

girl and we talked and she could get me in tomorrow morning

at 9 but I have no way to get there then, I have to give notice

to get a ride.. so she got one for me at 10 am on thursday..so

I call COA and they arent real sure they can take me cuz they

have 2 others they have already booked for transport..They

were supposed to call me back and didnt so the COA lady

that was here I told her, she phoned and said she will remind

them to let me know first thing..So I have to wait on that I hope

they can, cuz I dont know if Raelynn can she has another client

she takes care of...But things are getting done on that part..

My sister phoned me saturday nite, she was worried.. she said..

and wanted to find out..how it was going I told her that I may not

have a place to live..her words were "well you will have to go back

to the hellhome, where else will you go?" I was devastated..she

knows how horribly they treated me.. Im NOT that sick I have to

live in a nursing home.. I was so hurt that was her first thought.. I

finally broke down today and called my boy..Donnie.. well bless

his heart..He said I could live on his pontoon LOL .. what a guy..

he was kidding and he made me smile.. thats his favorite toy....

His next words..were.."well Gran,, you will just have to come here

and stay with us till we figure out what to do" now does this boy

love me or what? what a Load off my shoulders.. I should have

called him last week..but I just didnt want him to worry..but Bless

his heart.. and my sister tells me to go back to the Hellhome.. I

wont put here what I really thought just to be nice.

Anyway,, Things are better..but not better because I dont know

still if they can come and arrest me.. they didnt tell me..why dont

they? Donnie says call them and ask them..hes never heard of

this..they arrest you on the spot..but hey..why didnt they tell me

then "this is a warning, no charges" before they left..? they saw

how upset I was about it all..I dont know the law..they do..they

should have told me..

Anyway.. we are squeaky :-) Raelynn bless her heart is so

worried about us.. She brought me some wonderful tomatoes

from her garden and 2 yellow squash they look wonderful.. I

want to eat them so bad..but I am throwing up so much..even

my 1 cup of coffee didnt stay down this morning ..now thats

not good..lol I LOVE my coffee :-) I may wait a little and try one

of those tomatoes they are so wonderful and the smell M M M...

Anyway.. Y'all have been so great putting up with this whiney

weeble.. :-) and I so appreciate all the advice and help and all

the kind words.. Specially to my boy.. hes not mine by blood..but

hey.. I dont think a mother and son are closer than me and Donnie.

His wife? Dawn. I know as soon as he told her she said the same

thing..what kids hey? God Bless em. "Just have to come here Gran"

I think the only other words Ive ever heard that were sweeter from

anyone were I love you. Great kids I have.. and not my blood ..So

Im off to just relax and watch tv .. Im breathin a bit easier now.. And

maybe I wont throw up so badly..and Im going over to my bed with

my boys and just love all over them and tell them not to worry we

are safe.... so we say Nitey Nite... :-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? sure Luv ya..and thanks .. :-)

Always, Lois ****

May God Bless you today,

I'm so honored to call you friend,

I pray the Lord will keep you safe,

Until I write again...