~Last Post~

Well the house is no longer a deal.. and I will be staying permanently
in the homeless shelter.. I have no choice I will stay there for as long
as they let me.. I will be in the homeless shelter in Centerville , MI
I will have no phone or internet for indefinitely.. I have no idea how
long.. I wish I could tell you..

If there is some way I can get here to the blog I will post so be sure
to check off and on and If I can get online at all I will most definitley
say hi..

I want to thank you all so very much for your phone calls and words of
encouragement, it is so deeply appreciated.. I cant thank you enough..
I wont have a phone or any other way to be in touch.. The name of
the place is Keystone Place... I will have a room, no tv or anything.. will
b e great fun.. oh well .

Thank you again..and Y'all take care now y'hear.. Luv ya & thanks..
Always Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~THE SCOOP~

Well here is the POOP SCOOP lol... Today started out as awful.. I was

just totally upset, but as this day wore on and is about coming to a close,

it is ok.. I will be going to a Homeless Shelter in the next town. Donnie

will load my things tomorrow and take them to a storage unit. I will stay

at the homeless shelter for about a week hopefully less..

I found a VERY small house to rent for $350.oo a month.. It is only One

bedroom and it has a full basement. It has a screened in front porch

and a garage. It sits on a corner lot and the neighbor hood isnt fancy,

but its not that bad either... if I am VERY careful every month I will be

able to pay the rent and the utilities. Im hoping he will work with me on

the deposit, and let me pay a little each month...It also has a very large

back yard.. I have been wanting a nice place thats private that I can go

and sit outside.. I will need some things for the house, as it doesnt come

with a stove and refrigerator. I will need curtains etc for it as well...
But hopefully it will be just what I have been hoping to have..

The stress from all this has been maddening..Raelynn will even be able

to come to Keystone and help me while I am there.. I just hope it has a

private bath.. I hate sharing... I dont know if they will allow me to take

my computer there or not..hope so..If not Donnie will take it home with

him.By next week end I am hoping that I will be back up on the net.. I

will know more tomorrow when I call the cable office..and the phone co.

etc..I hope I will be able to keep my same phone number...

Now for the MOST important.. Raelynn will take the boys home with

her until I get moved into the house.. They are so sad.. Poor Dutch just

breaks my heart.. he looks so sad..I keep trying to reassure him but

they know.. Raelynn loves my boys and I know she will take good care

of them.. I dont worry knowing theyll be with her.. She will watch over

them for me... She has been so good to me..I dont know what I would

do with out her..

All this packing and trying to help being in this chair, is NOT an easy

thing.. There are so many boxes around, that I get stuck constantly.

My wheel will turn and there I sit..cant budge.. I get so tired so easy.

Its maddening.. I try so hard to do this stuff and to help.. and I just

am not much good at it.. Every thing I do takes me forever..since I

have to make a dozen moves to one step...

I dont know if the homeless shelter will have a computer or not.. I hope

so, then..they may not.. If I cant take mine there, then I wont be back

online until I move into the house. I honestly cant wait to do that. I will

get my sister In Law Yvonne to come and help me.. Shes really good..

and so is Raelynn.. it will be a good thing.. and next summer? I will have

my flowers and a place to sit outside.. All this has gotten me back in

touch with both my brothers.. so maybe that will be a good thing too.. I

sure need it to be..

If I can get online at all..I will be posting..hopefully next week I will be

back here for sure if not sooner.. Thank all of you so much for all your

love and support and worry and care for me.. I am so blessed to have

so many dear wonderful friends.. I am so deeply grateful.. and I thank

God for each and every one of you... Until we meet again.. its time

to say "NITEY NITE" Sending hugs n kisses n all kinds a good stuff lol

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? LUV YA!!! & Thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~1 down 2 to go~

Well Monday has come and is just about gone, and I dont have

any solution yet, and nothing that even looks promising..
I have received alot of information on places to call etc, but I

have already called most of them and seems they just really

refer to each other..and no one really has any solutions..none

that I have found anyway...

Donnie will be here wednesday to load my things up and I have

no idea where he will even be taking them to be honest. I have

half a mind to tell him to just take it all to the dumps and go back

to the hellhome as my sister suggested then I would have no

more worries, I know I would not last long in there but, well I dont

think I can take much of this out here either...

I tried to get some packing done today and I just couldnt get

hardly anything done as I really wasnt feeling well.. I think the

stress of all this has just gotten to me and I have just reached

the stress limit to be honest.. But well who would want to adopt

a 60 year old fat ugly legless woman ? Im a liability not an

asset by any means lol...

I will be on tomorrow, but I cannot promise I will be posting on

Wednesday .. I just dont know.. As soon as I can possibly get

back online of course I will head here to this favorite spot of

mine and hope all of you will keep checking to see if I am

here again..I sure hope I will be..but I cannot guarantee it

since I have no idea what is ahead after wednesday or even

where me and the boys will be...

Again..thank you so much for all your prayers and well wishes..

they mean alot to me...I wish I could write more but I just do not

feel well .. I am so tired..and LORD I need to rest.. just some

safe secure sleep..what a treat... NITEY NITE my Friends..

Y'all have a good one now Y;hear? love you bunches..& thanks..

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~The Countdown Begins~

Sunday today, which leaves Monday, tuesday and Wednesday,

and all my stuff had better be packed because it is being moved

out of here.. I wish I had somewhere to move it to..but right at this

very moment I have NO idea where I am going or what will happen

to me.. I am really discouraged, at this point I just want someone to

phone me and say, "Lois, I have a nice place for you to live, have

Donnie bring all your things here." boy would I LOVE that.. I dont

care what state, although if Donnie hauls it, it sure needs to be

close..The count down is beginning..

I have that lady coming tomorrow from the homeless shelter and

she may be able to get me into a place I have to take the first one
that I am guaranteed to be able to have. I have to be able to take

my boys there as well... This is just the worst night mare I think a

person could go through.. not knowing in just a matter of days If

my animals and I will even have a place to sleep..Its really awful..

and the panic that sets in and the scared feeling.. I am just so

glad that my boys dont really KNOW how careless their mother

has been with their well being..

I am hoping I will have enough money to get a place if and when I

do find a place.. if I have to stay in a motel which will be MOST

expensive.. I should apply for a visa and move to the UK..I think

I know more people there than I do here in the states..let alone

Michigan... I had hoped someone would have something that

needed someone to care for it..like a small cottage or something..

I had hoped Raelynn could live with me..and we could make some

kind of good life..we get along so good.. and she does look out

for me. I would feel better if we had a nice place that was big

enough for her and I and our kids..she has 3 you know.. Shes a

God Send and I am very very thankful for her. And I hope we can

all find a home somewhere. We sure need one desperately...

With all these prayers being said I am sure they will be heard and

some one will come to my rescue.. I KNOW no one wants to marry

me so I guess I will just stay single forever lol.. which is not that bad.

Alone does get to you sometimes, but, sometimes its a good thing

too.. We all need some time for ourselves..

I have gotten so many nice comments from so many sweet , dear

people and I just have NOT had the time and to be quite honest

the energy to write back..But I promise I will as soon as this all

settles down.. The stress is just gotten to me severly but I promise

as soon as the dust settles I will write.. But for now..I have got to

log off and just rest for a while.. I am so exhausted and hungry..I

think I will forego the food and just rest... NITEY NITE... :-)

Y'all have a good one, Y'hear? luv ya..and keep prayin for me..

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~What To Do~

I talked to Donnie today and he will be over here on Wednesday nite to

load up all my stuff, He's going to leave it on the trailer until I know

where to have him bring it to..He will park it in his driveway. And it

will be safe there. We talked for quite awhile trying to figure out

what to do...Seems my nephew is even losing his house, I dont

understand why its so hard to find a home ? Every place I call

they give me some excuse and refer me to a place that told me

to call them lol.. Talk about a circle..lol.
.

I have a form coming in the mail to apply for relocation funds. I

may have to stay in a hotel until I find a place. That would be so

expensive though. I would run out of money and not be able to

pay the rent AND the deposit..and then what if I found a place

that wasnt accessible..or needed a ramp..I wonder what I would

do?

There is a lady coming Monday to assess me..I dont know what

time...I need to find out.. I have so many numbers of places ive

called..even for ads in the paper..which there are a few but none

say accessible and most start at 500 a month.. That would leave

me nothing for other things.. mainly cat food and supplies..not

counting cable and internet...This Ihave to take into consideration.

I wish I could find a place so all I had to do was just have every

thing transferred, my electric, phone and cable I know will take a

few days... This moving is NOT an easy thing..There is so much

to take into consideration that you dont want to forget to do...

I dont know..I sure am running out of time.. I hate to spend money

on a motel...I would end up having to borrow money and I dont want

to do that either, as I wouldnt be able to pay it back..THATS the

VERY hard part.I am just so totally tired.. I really am.. I woke up today

and felt like I hadnt slept at all... I hate when I do that.. Raelynn was

here today and she even commented on my tiredness and its just

probly from all this crying and stress...

I am just so pleased at all the wonderful comments and emails I got

and am still getting..they mean so much to me...To know that there

is some one praying and worried about me.. I sincerely appreciate

it... I am tired and I do have a bit of a hunger pang and should try

to eat something... Time to say "NITEY NITE, Sweet Dreams"

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? love ya...and thanks.. :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~Paper Everywhere~

Im counting the days..I have so many pieces of paper with phone

numbers and names on I dont know who is what..I cant believe that

it is THIS hard to get a place to live...Its just amazing..and what gets

me is they all just keep referring you back to the same ones.. So its

no wonder I cant keep track of who and what.. I did fill out the app for

the 1 bedroom at Maple Towers.. but no guarantee that I will get it..

I did get a number for a girl named Kelly that was really really nice

and she seemed to know what she is talking about..and is sending

a lady here Monday to assess me..and see what they can do ..If I

cant get into a place I will have to go to a motel...I will have no choice.

I did find a house today for rent..BUT its 400.oo a month plus all of the

utilities..gas, electric, water.. I know I cannot pay for that and all the

extra non food items I will need.. I just could NOT make it a month.. It

seems like a nice place, but only 1 bedroom..and there is no ramp..

its not really a wheel chair house. but he said its all one level and the

only stairs are to the basement..I wish I could..I would LOVE the privacy

of having a house.. sure would be nice.. I still dont know what to do..

I tried to explain this feeling I have when I look around here and see all

my things now in boxes..and it looks so messy in here..LORD...I was so

stupid to do this..I cant believe I did this to my self..I sit and look around

and just cry and feel so totally Useless and can NOT figure out a way to

get out of this.. IF I could prove I had Indian blood it would be VERY

different for me.. but I cant.. I was adopted..we are supposedly Chippewa

Tribe... I would like to know and I have tried..but I know nothing about

anyone..Both my birth parents are dead... I wish I could prove it.. But its

just not possible..not knowing your real heritage..My adopted mother

was born in England..Be nice if I could say I am also a British Subject lol

Anyway.. I am just SO discouraged... Raelynn is working so hard..I mean

she doesnt stop the whole time shes here..I would be so lost without her..

shes very good to me.. The nurse came this morning and drew blood..

tried my finger first..even though I told him to use my thumb..well didnt

work and HURT like CRAZY..so he went to the thumb and of course

drew his blood..I wonder why they DONT listen? sheesh..

I am late as you see..and I do apologize..It was so wonderful to read all

those great comments..Made me feel just wonderful..thank you so

very much I like knowing this is read and that I do have some caring

friends out there.Thanks Thanks..oh..and "Nitey Nite.Sweet Dreams"

Y'all have a good one Y'hear? Luv Ya!! and Thanks~!~ :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~One Week :-(~

One week from today you may not see a post from me as that

is the day I have to be out of this apartment. The way it looks as

of today I have NO idea where I will be. None. the way it looks

right now, I will be sitting out in the parking lot. I just dont have

any idea where I will go. I have called every apartment complex

in this county, and no one has anything that I can even consider

getting into.There are such long waiting lists. Then To process

the paperwork takes at least 2 weeks...

I had hoped that I could get into Maple Towers, If I knew I could,

I would maybe then consider renting a motel room for a week and

wait to get in there. Poor Donnie and Dawn they offer but I just

cant access the bathroom in their house...I just dont know what to

do.. I have never been in this kind of situation before.. I called the

lady that helped me escape from the hellhome and she didnt even

have any ideas, no one does..I called the homeless shelter here,

and they dont even have any openings there for pete's sake!! This

is just so totally awful...and not one thing I can do since HUD wants

me out.. They wont even give me a 2nd chance..i just dont see being

that cruel.. but then..its the old saying..Money talks..BS walks...

Raelynn got about half of my sewing room packed today, she worked

really hard.. I should be so grateful..I have boxes all over now.. I think I

should sell that desk and maybe that stand up recliner..but I doubt If

I would get them sold in time.. I had thought about calling my brother,

but I dont know really what he could do..I dont think his house is ok

for me either.. My sisters I know isnt.. maybe I should just consider

going back to the nursing home.. I would have no more worries there.

No more troubles..But then no more life either, I may as well just die

to go back there.. That is really giving up..but I just dont know where

else to turn..

I know I am so very tired. I would love to just sleep, not worried sleep,

more awake than sleeping but I really wonder if I will ever be able to do

that again. My poor boys are upset, I can see in how they react to me,

They both follow me around, stick to me all the time. Bless their hearts,

they sure didnt ask but for a decent home. Im a bad mother..Such care
I take care of my kids.. I am so bad..


Time for this rotten mom to find the publish, and say Nitey Nite :-)

Hope your days are better than mine...

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya..and thanks..

Always, Lois****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~I Called And Called ~

Ive called everyone I can think of and then some today, I feel like

the phone is attached to my head. I dont know who else to call..

There are just very few open HUD apartments here in town. Well

I called just about every apt complex in the whole county, and there

are not many if any to be found..at least I didnt find anything...

Chris was here today and I talked to him and he said he phoned

Mary Kloster to see if I could get my deposit back which of course
I knew I wouldnt be able to..I guess the lawyer has already charged

them for filing against me...I dont really know who is instigating this,

but I asked Chris why HUD is so determined and wont even give me

a 2nd chance, he explained that if they do one then they will have to

for everyone thats why they cut no slack..So I am just out in the cold

with no place to go and I honestly dont know what to do..

I called Maple Towers and she said they do have some apartments

open but also they have a waiting list . The ones they have open are

up on the 5th floor.But they do have an elevator. She (mgr) said that

to do all the paper work that it would take at least a couple weeks

to process the stuff so I will still be out in the cold...

Monday they evicted Penny. She came home from somewhere and

found them hauling all her stuff out and she had to pay 200.oo for

someone to come and help her move her stuff..It was raining that

day and they didnt care..Chris did it and some other man. I dont

know how some people can be so heartless. And Pennys got a 2

month old baby over there.. They dont care..So if they put her stuff

out in the street why wouldnt they mine.. I assured Chris I would have

my things out by the 28th and I will if I have to haul if out and take it

to the junk yard.. I just cant keep on like this I am a nervous wreck ,

I feel like a displaced person.. and NOT one thing I or anyone else

can do..Ive called everyone I know and their brothers and no luck..

Donnie called this morning and told me not to worry as far as moving

my stuff he has a big trailer that he probly can fit it on to move it for

me..I just have to find a place to move it to..I told him if he didnt find

a place for me I would move in with him..lol..He wasnt too thrilled..

Well I dont know what else to do I have run my limit..I just dont know.

Maybe tomorrow something will happen that I can find a home... I

am not hungry as usual and I am just going to log off and take a rest

and watch tv for a while..see if I can sleep..So its that time to just

say ..:"Nitey Nite and Sweet Dreams" :-)

Y'all have a good one Now Y'hear? luv ya and thanks..

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~What a DAY~ :-(

Well today was a crap day. I didnt get anywhere. I called a

lawyer with legal aid and they said to call back Tuesday, the

25th.. Well I got a summons in the mail today to be in court

on the 29th at 9 am. to be evicted. If I move out of here before

the court date I will save my HUD. I dont know how in 10 days

I can get this place packed up and moved, plus find a place

to move to.. I am just screwed I guess.. The man at Legal Aid

said that I can call on the 25th and a lawyer will tell me what to

do in court. I cant do that with no guarantee I will win and not

be evicted.. I will have to move... I just dont know where to or

HOW.. This is so awful and I did this all to my self.. I guess I

deserve every bit of this..

There is an apt. complex in a town about 25 ;miles from here,

and its HUD, only thing is they only allow one cat, how do I decide

which of my boys I keep? They dont know anyone but me.. Plus

the fact I will have to have a deposit..etc.. I know I will lose the one

I had here because I didnt give 30 days notice. I just cant win...

I was thinking today that it seems the harder I try to clean things up

and make things right the more falls apart. I can understand why so

many that are like me get so discouraged.. I worry constantly so I

can imagine how others feel.. To pack all these things up, then to get

them all moved..How will I ever get that done? all before the 29th ?

I dont see how it is possible..I could just kick myself..

I sit here and look at my boys and feel so bad that I have jeopardized

their home..and now have to face the fact that possibly I will have to

give one of them away, and to who do I give them to? and HOW do I

choose between them as to who gets to stay with me and the other

goes to someone else..that may not spoil them like I do or treat him

nicely .. I am such a horrible mother...

Well my nurse didnt show up today either and I have no idea why.. I

plan to call Donnie and see if he can get some boxes and maybe

Dawn & kelli might come and help me pack... Raelynn said she

would help me.. That apt complex is not as nice as this one and it

is not one floor like this.. it has elevators.. I just dont know what to do

I cant understand why I cannot find a lawyer in this whole state of

Michigan that would help me and not charge me a fortune.. I :have

NO idea how I will make this move..rent and deposit? I dont know..

but this sure is scarey.. and I dont like it at all...

I am not tired but I want to try to sort thru some things and maybe get

rid of alot so its less to pack and I dont have alot of time to do this.. I

better not waste a minute of my time..I better get started..time to say

"Nitey Nite"

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya and thanks...

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~I Didnt Do A Bunch~

I didnt do a whole lot today and dont ask me why but I just

didnt. I was going to do some phone calling and just put it off.

Raelynn was here today and I made out a shopping list for

her and then I put a rinse in my hair and took a shower. To do

that is MAJOR deal..I bet it took me over 2 hrs to do that. I

dont know why this shower chair is so uncomfy but I mean I

cannot wait to get my butt out of that uncomfortable chair!

Its awful.. It is just so hard to sit in for any length of time and I

cannot wait to get out of it.. Sure makes you not be a slow

poke in the shower let me tell ya....My stumps actually hurt by

the time I get out of that thing.. To take a shower is a major

thing for me...it is NOT the easiest thing to do..specially when

my hair is so long, takes a while to get it rinsed and all...I was

glad when that shower was done so I could get back in my old

chair.

I have been using my old chair for quite a while now.. I dont like

my new one at all.. it is just too stiff for something.. I dont have

the good control as I do with my old one..This one will move at

the drop of a hat which many many times that has made a big

difference on whether I got burnt or cut etc. I guess if I would use

my new one more it would loosen up and I could maneuver it

easier.. I havent heard from the guy that was going to fix my

power chair so I need to give him a call.. Im just afraid to let him

pick it up and then all this stuff here comes to a head and I end

up losing track of my chair then I would be sick..So I may wait

till all this is settled before I let him have my chair.. But I will tell

him I want a new charger so I can at least charge it up..

I was so pleased to read what my honeygirl wrote on my last nites

post.. Bev your just a sweetie.. what would I do with out you. :-)

Bev is my oldest niece now.. and she has a sister Cheryl .. These

are my sisters 2 daughters.. We lost their oldest sister Rose 2 half

years ago.. Rose was just that ... a rose.. a real sweetie and just

had it so rough...The Lord took her home..and she is no longer in

pain or suffering at all anymore.. But we sure do miss her ..

My sister came saturday and we had a really good visit.. She is

just having a time with this remodeling.. Her and Stanley have

gone round and round a few times.. but then you know how men

are when women try to tell them anything LOL.. :-) He wanted a

new house and not do all this remodeling and my sis just didnt

want to move..so now they are in the middle of redoing most of

their house..I think remodeling could be very trying for any 2

people. Their house should be really nice by the time its all done

though.. Me..well I would have just gotten the new house and

saved all the aggravation and fightin lol..

Well this weeble is pooped..was a hard day today and I am

tired.. I am all stocked up on groceries again and I plan to call

my dolly and see if she needs anything.. I felt so bad.. Donnie

phoned me today , I asked what he did for the weekend and he

had just gotten back from Wisconsin where he went to see his

mom and dad.. FOR HIS BIRTHDAY!!! I felt SO BAD!! I forgot..

I am a horrible person to forget my boys birthday..I promised

him I would make him some cabbage rolls or halupki's.. He loves

those .. So this week I will have to make some for him..I really did

feel bad not remembering..but he knows I luv him..thats the main

thing..Time to hit that publish button and relax for a while.. and

say "Nitey Nite"

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya..and thanks :-)

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~New Photos~ :-)

I promised you a new picture every sunday and I took this one

this morning for you.. Its not the greatest but I tried to look just

happy happy even though I really am not.. I had talked to a

friend of mine today and was told that all will be ok and not to

worry that I had many many friends worried about me and that

cared..and I know how true that is..and I cant even begin to tell

you how much that means to me..

This scared feeling of not knowing is so awful..Its like those

dreams I have that I just wander and wander looking and asking

everyone if they have a home for me.. I walk in them, along the

beach.. I come across towns and go into the shops and ask them

if they know where I can find a home and no one knows..So I

leave and continue to wander and look.. I hope one of these times

I can find one..

I had thought of putting an ad in the local paper..seeing what I can

find.. Raelynn said she would live with me..and take care of me.. I

have no doubt she would she is a great care provider..and we do

get along so good..we are good friends as well as the fact that she

works for me.. But I dont consider her that..as an employee.. well

you cant when someone is doing personal stuff like cleaning your

house etc.. The company she works for frowns on that though..They

dont want the client and the caregiver to even be in contact ..only

contact should be while she is here...That is so weird.. A person

needs to be friends with the people that are doing personal things

for you, how can it be any other way? Well we play by the rules

some of the time..but what they dont know dont hurt them or us..

My scar is about the same..doesnt look good and I am really

worried that it may open.. The nurse will be back tuesday.. I guess

one day this week I should get the notice of the court date or if

this has been dropped.. I do plan to do some phone calling tomorrow

I want to call the police station and find out if it is the policy of them

to phone a persons landlord and inform them they were at a tenants

home. I dont think it is but Im gonna find out.. If NOT that means that

someone phoned Hope and told them and I truly think it was Gary

Herndon.. who else if it wasnt the cops..cuz Chris didnt know they

took any thing out of here but I bet Gary did..I think he was out in the

hall while the police were here thats what Jody said and she was in

the hallway while they were here.. I just dont think thats police policy

to phone a landlord and I am gonna find out.. then I will know..

I took this pic of the boys to show you how they are just sticking to me

like glue..they both try to fit on this desk and think the whole thing is all

theirs lol they are so spoiled.. but arent they pretty? They are so much

company . I feel so good when Dutch crawls up on my chest and lays

under my chin and licks me with kisses.. I like when I can reach over

and feel LittleBoy laying at my side.. They love me.. lol..

Well no snack, Im not hungry but I am gonna get some kool aid..its so

good.. I like the lemon/lime.. good stuff ..then I put bottle in freezer

and let it get icy and that is great!! Well time to hit publish and say..

"Nitey Nite ,, and sweet dreams " :-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya..and thanks.. :-)

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~Go To A Good Place~

A while back a friend told me when things get bad to go

to a good place, where things were better or happier and

you could forget all the things that were wrong in your life.

To help you get through those bad times.. Or at least let

you have some reprieve from the things that are troubling

you.

The Picture is of Kelli, on the left, and Nikki, in the pink,

and me of course in the middle, This was such a happy

time. We were living in my mothers house and I had the

2 girls staying over night with me, Donnie had come all

the way up by me to vacation with his mom and dad

he and his then wife Shirley had come up to a camp

ground to stay with Donnies parents. It was a really nice

place and Barb and Bill had a wonderful time with all

3 of the girls and of course time with Donnie.

Shirley, was not really pleased with the camping site

and the weather was not the greatest and it was NOT

very warm. The girls and Donnie of course had a good

time. We drove back and forth from the house every

day to see them and then they came and spent an

over nite so we could take them fishing etc. Donnie

loves to fish. He goes to Canada once a year to fish.

Barb and Bill had a winnebego at the time which is a

motor home. They went all over. I believe they still have

it. They are both retired now and can do all that travelling

that they couldnt do when they were raising their 4 kids

Donnie has a sister and 2 brothers. He is the only one

that doesnt live by his parents though.

I met Donnie at my brothers, back in 83, and he wanted

to get away and start a new life somewhere else. So we

offered him a job in our tree service and let him live with

us.. So Donnie and his girlfriend Kimmie, moved in with

us for a year. Then they moved out just before Kelli was

born. Ive known Donnie for a long time. Hes a hard working

happy guy. One of a kind.. And the girls? they are the

prettiest in the whole town as far as Im concerned.. They

are really pretty all 3 of them...Im proud to be their Gran

as they call me...I call them my honeygirls, just like I call

my neices my honeygirls...below is Nikki and Amber..

I have tried this day not to dwell on all this stuff here as the

stress is really getting to me..and I need something else to

think about in my mind. But I keep going back. WHen I sit

here at my computer and dont do anything but read email

or play solitaire I feel guilty like I should be doing something.

yet I know there is nothing I can do on a saturday.. But on

Monday there is alot of digging I want to do..I have to find

out alot of stuff so hopefully I will...

Raelynn came today and we are all squeaky clean, she

cooked up some yellow squash for me with butter and

onions..fried them ..she cut it into slices..talk about good!

wow..they were excellent.. I enjoyed them alot and I ate

BOTH of them..OINK OINK lol..they were good and it was

such a great treat..I sure enjoyed them..So I am not hungry.
I am going to get a soda and play a game of solitaire and

lay this body down..I am tired..was a long day ..Time to

say Nitey Nite, Sweet Dreams...

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? LUV ya ..and thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~Quiet Week End~

Well the week end is here and I have decided I am not going

to think about this for the next 2 days, and on Monday start

and make a plan of attack so to speak and see what I can

do. But I need these couple days to just unwind and not

think about all this and worry and get over this unknowing

feeling its so awful..So I hope over this week end I CAN un

wind a bit and maybe enjoy myself a little and ease some of

the tension here specially for my boys , I can see how they

act that they are so nervous and they stick to me like glue.

I have alot of unanswered questions about this whole thing

that Chris just refuses to answer and when he does his

responses just dont make sense. I will start to find out and

do some of my own investigating.. I was told today that there

are a few living here that have VERY bad police reports on

them.. yet they get to stay. I dont understand this.. Chris blames

all this rush on the attorney and still refuses to tell me just who

the attorney is...said they didnt want me calling him cuz then

HOPE would have to pay for it , which did NOT make any

sense at all.. Why cant I know who this lawyer is thats so

anxious to push this hurry hurry and get me evicted..

The nurse was here again today and said a new one will be by

on Tuesday to check me over and to look at my scar. Its quite

a mess, and quite open and red. My blood pressure is down

and I am glad, but I knew it was cuz I had just gotten up from a

little nap that I had no choice but to take I was so tired ... I did

show him my left eye, it seems to be infected and it is all red

and blood shot.. JUst seems there is NO end to all of this and

THATS why I hate to go to a Dr. lol..But well I have to keep up

on this I guess and get it all taken care of..I consider all this

CRAP thats going on as a restart and if I am going to I want

to do it healthy..thats the only way to do it. And if my Knight does

happen to come along and carry me off I wanna be able to

enjoy it!!! lol...

I havent heard from the wheel chair ppl and I will have to call them

monday to see what they plan to do..I would feel better if they did

fix it here rather than take it off to their place.. He said it is the

charger thats bad so..he just needs to bring me a charger and IF

my chair is bad he should be able to tell if its repairable.. I would

think he would want me to get a new one just so he could sell me

one lol.. I like my power chair but they sure do spoil you and make

your arms weak.. I need that strength to be able to drag this big

ole weeble butt around!!! I had weak arms Id really be draggin..

Well I am not hungry..so maybe a soda.. I did eat a baked potato

today though so I ate twice this week..I may make some spaghetti

sauce tomorrow and have that over the week end maybe, Raelynn

will be here tomorrow.. I feel so bad for her..the new (to her) car

she bought is sitting on the side of the road in Indiana .. the steering

went out and she almost got in a wreck. This car she got has had

more trubble and sadly the man sold it as is..and I can see why, I

bet he knew all this stuff was wrong and why he got rid of it..That is

so awful to do to someone specially a single woman thats so un

fair, and a horrible thing to take advantage like that.. She paid alot

for that car..looks nice, but once she got it home is when it started

to go bad again..I would call and tell that man off so fast..but she

is so nice she cant do that.. and the man is a COP!!! what does

THAT say??? lol...and its Time for me to say....Nitey Nite...

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya..and THANKS!!!! :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~Scared Is A Bad Feeling~

I told a friend today that I have not in a long long time ever

felt like I have now for the past month and I really dont like

this feeling . I am SCARED. I cant remember ever being

this bad, even as I lay and waited for them to take me into

the operating rooms to take my legs, or to even repair my

heat.Being this scared I dont like. and I AM this way mainly

because I dont have legs. Scared is such a lonely feeling.

A dear friend phoned me the other day that was concerned

about me and I have known him for quite a few years but we

never talked on the phone, we chatted and he got mad at me

because I was whining and just being a big baby which I was,

My phone rang and I heard him it was so good. It was like 2

arms came through the phone and hugged me and made me

feel better. A friend from Australia phoned and was so sweet

he made me feel like all over the world the friends I have do

care for me and how my life is going, My friend way down south

and even though facing a hurricane still managed to call and

ask how it was going... This makes me feel so good It really

does...I know I am not really alone...

When Raelynn and Wayne and I went to breakfast and to sit

across from a handsome strong man was so nice, to be able

when I talked to him to reach out and pinch his arm or pat it,

to be able to do that was so nice, I really realized just how

much I am really alone and how much I miss that. Its not the

same to hold one of my boys and cry they love me and try so

hard to make me feel better, I held LB the other day and usually

he wont let anyone hold him ..he let me and as the tears rolled

down my cheeks his little rough tongue licked them away and

he looked so lovingly at me I cried even harder that I had so

carelessly endangered their home. What If I cant find a place

that will allow cats or what if they only allowed one.. How would

I choose between my boys as to which one I could keep? It

would break my heart...I have been so careless..

The nurse came today, he was very nice, and he said he is just

the assessor, and he drew blood and took my temp, I have a

fever and my Blood Pressure is EXTREMELY high, and my

scar on my left stump is looking very serious. He phoned the

Dr. while he was here and she ordered it so a nurse would

now come twice a week to monitor me and they are concerned

about the scar and they will draw blood weekly which is SO

not a good feeling.. They can only draw from my thumb. I will

have a nurse for the next month possibly longer and he

suggested I have a caregiver move in with me.

All this crap has taken such a toll on me. Chris phoned today and

we got in a big fight and he said I cannot talk to him any more I have

to go thru HOPE. He said the eviction will go thru.. I asked him to

just give me some time and I will get out but I need time.. and to NOt

take my HUD. I checked the paper today for houses and apts to

rent and there are very very few and the rent starts at 4 -500 a month

I cant afford that. If Raelynn and Wayne and I all live together It would

save each of us.. What if I couldnt afford to have the inter net? THat

would NOT be a good thing. I only get $603.00 a month to live on.

and it sure doesnt stretch very far, I will have to be very careful...

Well I didnt sleep but a couple hours last nite and I havent eaten any

thing, not since tuesday and i am NOT even hungry .. I will just get

a soda and maybe play some solitaire. I do have my bank statement

I need to balance but I dont think THAT would undo this stress at

all~~!!!!! :-) Probly make it WORSE lol...anyway, hitting the publish

and sayin Nitey Nite, hope your day was better than mine.

Y'all have a good one Y'hear? Luv ya.. and thanks.. :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~I Got Happy Too Soon~ :-(

Apparently I jumped the gun in saying Yippee.. Chris was here

today and said the eviction was still going thru that he had the

police report and that was all they needed stating an illegal

substance was taken out of my apt. The attorney for HOPE

Network is the one pushing this...Chris said he informed the

attorney the case was dropped and he said it didnt matter,

that the police report wasnt dismissed and thats what they

have and basing my eviction on that..

I am so upset again and I just dont know what to do anymore,

I know I cant stand this constant upheaval and not knowing from

one day to the next what is happening to me. Chris told me today

once this is taken to court I will have 24 hours to get my stuff out

of here or it would all be put in the street.. I almost cried..then I

called a lady named Laurel with the MI protection and Advocacy

and she told me not to worry if my stuff was put in the street there

were other things more important.. I was so hurt...I thought they

were there to help not make you feel even worse...

It was so bad today that I have to admit I honestly entertained the

horrible idea of just going back to the hellhome, at least there

I would have no worries anymore. To even think that I had

considered that scares me. But thats the extent this whole mess

has taken me to.. I can honestly say I really DONT know what to

do.. I talked to the Prosecuting Attorney secretary, Cindy, she

was very nice, she explained that yes the charges against me

had been dropped but the police report is still available on me.

That because of Michigan's right to know thing that anyone can

pay 5.dollars and get anyones police history. That report about

me is still there. And unless the attorney for HOPE NETWORK

drops this there is nothing I can do but wait for a court date,,

go to court again and plead my case to the judge and hope he

will not evict me.


If this HOPE NETWORK attorney will just drop this and let me

keep my HUD, I will gladly move..but I need time to find a place.

When the PA said I would not lose my HUD he didnt know the

rules of HUD apparently and didnt know what he was really

saying..In other words his saying that ment nothing since they

can still find grounds to evict me even tho on that police report

it says charges dropped.. My real only hope is to go to court

and hope the judge will give me more than 24 hours to get my

things out of here so they arent put out in the street..According

to Chris thats what they will do....

I know you have got to be tired of reading about this CRAP for

6 weeks now and I have to say I am SO TIRED of writing about

this..I wish I could think of happier things.. At least last nite I did

sleep and I am so glad.. I KNOW I wont tonite at all...I just want

this over so bad.. Some one needs to marry me and take me

away from all this..Calgon doesnt know how LOL...Remember

that commercial? CALGON..take me away..those bath suds?

lol I dont think that it can this tho...I sure wish it could, I would

go and buy a case of it :-)

Well ill give your eyes a rest from my whining like a big baby-

there wont be any trip to the fridge tonite or to raid my pantry...

Cuz I am NOT hungry!!! :-) no- I have NO appetite at all..I havent

for a long time..Maybe thats the only good thing that will come

out of this .... I'll lose some of this weebly chubbieness lol...and

quit making those nightly trips to the fridge or pantry..But I will

keep sayin Nitey Nite.... :-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya and Thanks.. :-)

Always, Lois****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~YIPPPEEEE ! ! ! ~

GOOD NEWS~~!!!!! Well I went to court this morning, what an

experience, there had to be at least 2 dozen people there, alot.

The judge was very nice, and he took me after 2 others that were

there so I wouldnt have to wait, which I thought was very nice of

him.. I was so upset, in tears of course, and I told the judge I didnt

know what to say, the judge says "well lets let you talk to the

Prosecuting Attorney(PA) and you and he can come up with some

thing. I followed the Bailiff out to another office and he and his

secretary were there, Raelynn came in with me.. He was very

nice too...

The first thing he said.."you know its illegal" I told him "yes, I

did, I smoked mainly for pain and depression that it really

helped me, Raelynn verified what I had said. He asked my

age, I told him and he then said" You dont look like a drug

dealer", The whole time he is writing in a folder, he closed

it up and said you can go. its all dropped.. I then asked him

about my HUD, he guaranteed me I would NOT lose it. The

lady that was with him said the same thing, "Dont worry,

you will NOT lose your HUD" We all left out of there and

went out to the car and I just cried my eyes out I was so

relieved.. I cannot tell you how much better I felt.. We went

out to breakfast which was a real treat, I hadnt been out

to eat in..hmmm 3 years?no 4.. a long time anyway, It was

so nice to go..Wayne helped with my chair and seemed

like he had been around one all his life.

When I got home my boys were so glad to see me, LB is

still sticking to me.. and Dutch..well hes mad at me for going

and is NOT talking to me.. He will be fine later lol.. He cant

stay mad at me for long...

I had been home for about an hour when there was a knock

on my door, and it was Chris, the apt manager, he handed

me an eviction notice, I told him he needed to call the PA

and he would tell him that all the charges have been dropped.

Chris said that didnt matter cuz there was a report..well I told

him he better call the PA and he will tell him..Chris called me

about hour later and said tomorrow he will bring me a paper

saying I am NOT evicted...I dont know who was behind all

this..but I think it was a deliberate try to get me out of here

by HOPE network...

I am so relieved, when we left the courtroom and were back

out to the car before I could get into it I broke down and just

cried.. Raelynn bless her heart cried with me. I promised I

would never smoke again and I wont.. I cant risk this kind of

thing happening again...But I am going to move.. I am going

to look for a house.. I cant stand living in an apartment...its

just awful.. I hope I can find something..Raelynn said she would

live with me even..which lately I am thinking it may be a good

thing, those nights when I was so sick and here all by myself

made me worry. Tomorrow they will be coming to assess me

for a home nurse. My Dr. wants me monitored more closely.

and I have NO idea why ..

Well this girl is happy and now all I need to do is unwind..and

try to get back on an even keel..I hope Chris doesnt push this

and try to start more trouble for me... I dont think he can.. I

know I really could use a vacation..Id sure like to get away for

awhile..Well now that this weeble has gotten more stable

again I am going to get me a soda and try to watch some tv

and maybe I can sleep I sure hope so.. I was so upset last

nite I didnt sleep at all..my right stump kept jumping up and

down..and ached something awful..Its never done that b4..

Thank you all so much for your support , it sure means alot

to me to know you care about me.. I cant tell you the warm

fuzzies it gives me :-) It does..it makes me feel so good..

and I really appreciate all of you. thank you so very much

Nitey Nite... :-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya.. & thanks :-)

ALways , Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~Tomorrow Is The Day~

Short post as I am not feeling well and of course a nervous wreck.

I have been sick all day with worry ..but like I said its my own

fault.. Raelynn will be here at 7 to pick me up..and its off to see

the wizard... If I dont write tomorrow nite then you know I am

in jail..

Keep your fingers crossed for me..and some prayers sure

would help as well...

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya and thanks..

Always, Lois****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~One More Day To Go~

Only 1 more day, and let me tell you I am in a snit. I just

have no idea what to expect. I wasnt arrested or given a

ticket last month, but now have to go to court..doesnt

make sense to me. I know its about to drive me nutz

for worrying though, and its getting VERY old...

Was a lazy day, I did not do one thing but sleep and play

solitare is all I did. The dosage on this antidepressant is

at its full level now and I think thats what makes me so

sleepy.Its a new kind she said and I had to take it in 3

different doses to build it up.. I really dont like the tired

feeling..I finally got the nurses at the Drs. office to do

their job..when I called friday about when the blood

work would be done, she said that she had sent the

paperwork in 2 weeks ago and would call and check

what the problem was. She called me right back and

said "Your insurance doesnt cover home care" Well,

I told her that is NOT true, and hung up the phone and

called the nurse with the insurance company, she knows

me really well...she said" I will take care of it..thats a

standard excuse when they dont do their job" She fixed

it and tomorrow I should hear when they will be coming

to do the blood work and how often the nurse will be

coming...Im glad thats settled..

My boys have been kind of upset along with me, they just

stick to me like glue. Every roll this chair makes they are

right there. It is such fun to go to the bathroom and 2 cats

are right there for an audience. lol..There is just NO

privacy here at all...They are worried though, just like I am.
Not knowing what is ahead, its such a bad feeling.. I dont

like it at all.. I am glad that the boys dont really KNOW what

is going on, they shouldnt have to worry about anything but

whether or not they have food and their litter box is clean.

I have to say though I will be glad when this is all over and

I know if im coming or going.. I hate this uncertainty.. I was

so surprised, my ex husband (2nd) phoned me saturday,

I was really surprised, hes doing quite well and is back in

LA. he seems to like it down there even though his family,

is up here. He hates the snow and cold hes a snow bird.

I guess Donnie or kelli called him and told him I was in a

snit and thats why he phoned..was nice of him to do that,

he was concerned and offered to help any way he could.

I thought that was pretty decent of him..

Well I am going to go and watch tv for a while..as much

sleeping as I did today I probly will be up half the night

now..never fails..As upset as my stomach is its probly

better to stay up than keep dragging this fat butt of mine

on and off that bed 4 million times.. That does NOT get

any easier ..in fact it seems to be getting harder lol...

Time to hit publish and we all say Nitey Nite.

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya, and thanks,,

Always, Lois****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~Bad Word~

I really appreciate those of you that have understood and

not reacted to the BAD word ILLEGAL.. I do know it was,

but I only did for medical reasons..and yes to make me feel

better.. It did improve my quality of life and made me some

times actually GLAD to be alive. None of those 15 pills I took

before EVER made me feel like that. I did risk alot, but I

never went out of my apartment, I was in the privacy of my

own home, but even that isnt safe anymore.

When the Police were here a month ago, they didnt tell me my

rights, they didnt arrest me, I got no ticket or any thing from

those 2 cops..That Brewer handed me 2 blank sheets of

paper and his card, with his number on it. thats it.. Now, WHY

would i think I was arrested? A month later I find out I guess I
am.. This just doesnt sound right..

Ive put out some calls to different friends and even contacted

my brother, none of us know a lawyer or the law.I tried calling

Penny next door but she isnt home either, shes pretty smart

when it comes to this stuff..I cant ever remember a time when

I have felt so confused and up in the air so to speak.. I hate

things hanging over my head .. gives me a headache, and

DONT say "A head like mine otta ache" either lol.. :-) I know,

I know, i have been stupid.. but this is really unfair...but I will

admit when I am wrong..and illegal is illegal..I dont think they

will ever make it a legal thing..there are too many that just

dont understand about how it works and makes you feel..they

have never tried it..and if they are not in the same condition

as the person that would need it.. yet they can judge and say

its illegal.. I think this is a major issue.. I know alot of disabled

that smoke..and I bet most of the people in here smoke.. I know

of 4 that do besides me.. I wish they would legalize it like CA

did..at least small amounts of it..thats better than nothing and

thats about all I ever had anyway at a time lol...

Ive been trying to figure out at way to start to help pack..Raelynn

brought some boxes..smaller ones to put the glassware in..I

dont know what I would do with out her.. Well I would be totally

alone.. there is alot to pack..I should really have a sale and just

have like a open house sale.. walk in and see the price tags on

everything.. and sell it.. Moving is such an expense.. I already

asked Donnie if and when moving day comes would he come

with his truck and he of course said yes. If nothing else I still know
I can stay with Donnie, and put my things in storage. The packing

is what is going to be the biggie.. thats going to take some doing.

I will try to do as much as I can..

I bet y'all will be so glad when all this drama is over hey? Well let

me tell you, not ANY GLADDER than me ... This really sucks.. I

am amazed at the affect it has had on me though.. The stress is

just unbelievable.. not eating, sleeping.. crying alot..and NONE

of it does any good..but sheesh.. what else do you do.. well Yes..I

do that too.. I DO Pray ALot..believe me do I EVER !!! I have

been in worse spots..I guess- although right now I cant think of a

one~!~ lol.. but I guess I have and I still made it through..so I have

to believe that perhaps this is for the best..that now maybe I will

find a nicer place to live that I can enjoy a garden and things like

that.. I Have to HOPE so anyway...you know me.. Im NOT a

Quitter, so until THIS fight is over..I have no choice but to fight it

and do the very best I can...

The best I can do right this minute? lol well its to find my way out

to the kitchen..I think I may make some toast with jelly and a cup of

tea.. I love tea..Ice and hot.. both.. Arizona Ice Tea in the can is

some really great tea..the best Ive had in canned anyway..Well

time to hit publish and say Nitey Nite :-)

Y'all have a good one Y'hear? Luv ya..and thanks.. :-)

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~Ok, Arrest Me~?~hmmm....

I have to go to court tuesday, the 12th, be there at 8:15 am. Do you

know that when I do, I am saying "here I am you can arrest me now"

When the police came to my apartment they just took the Crap and

left, they said nothing, the last words were "bye". Now, with them

leaving like that, why would I think I had been arrested? Would you?

I watch that show Cops all the time, and with all the cops and robbers

shows on tv now, well I have never seen an arrest handled like this.

It says on this paper I should go down to the Police Station so I can

be fingerprinted, before I go to court tuesday, I called and got special

dispensation and they will take my fingerprints when I get to court.

THEN they said I can post bond and get out. Im going to court on

Tuesday so they can arrest me... Im not arrested now.. I got not that

first ticket, nothing.. I dont understand how they can do this.

The bad part is NO ONE will tell you what to expect or anything, I called

the public defenders office before when I still was thinking they were

gonna do something..they told me they dont handle criminal cases.. I

just dont understand this.. I told the police officer, that is no longer on

the force, that they were NOT allowed in with out a search warrant, yet

he MADE me let that other officer IN!~ I had SAID NO..I dont see how

they can do this stuff.. I called one lawyer, he said ,"it will cost you

$1500.oo for me to handle this case. And was sposed to be a free

consultation and he wouldnt even tell me what to expect at court...

I just dont understand how they are doing police work now..I have not

that first time seen anything handled like this. It just doesnt seem fair.

What this has done to my health, my stress factor is really at the

breaking point here. I was told they may offer me a deal if I agree to

go to a rehab or whatever, if they dont charge me... If I have to I will

BUT I am NOT a drug addict..not by any means...The amounts that

I have at one time is ONE at a time, sometimes 2.. but all donated

to me out of having a HEART. What I got when they were here

was a gift, from some special friends I hadnt seen in a year..

I had to go to the doctor, I now have to have a nurse come and monitor

me, my nerves are shot, Ive lost weight, I dont think they have ANY

idea of the affect this has had on me, and SADLY I dont think the

Prosecuting Attorney or the Police care at all..Yet I am told NOT to

worry, I am VERY worried.. The police officer Brewer, thats gone, I

told him it was medicinal, and that I was a traumatic amputee that

I had phantoms..I even explained some of what PVD is.. he asked!!!

I dont know.. And I have to wait till I roll into that court room, thank

GOD Raelynn and Wayne will be with me, or do you know..I would

have to go alone? Isnt that just a scarey thought..

This whole thing has caused me to do some serious thinking, and

serious crying too let me tell ya.. Well I did this to my own stupid

self..I did..and DAMMIT..I WILL fix it.. I will do what I have to.. If I

lose HUD, well I will just have to make some major adjustments

in what I can and cant do thats all..and If Raelynn and I stick it

out and can make her my 24-7 caregiver, well things might work

out.. Being as sick as I have been this past month.. I mean I was

really sick a couple nights enough to scare me..and think that...

"HEY, Im all alone here with only 2 cats" I didnt like it too well at

all ..it did kind of scare me.. And Raelynn is a good careprovider,

shes a certified aide, next to a nurse almost, knowing the MI

course for it..since I am one as well..when I worked, I am also a

LPN, but I havent kept my license up for years..but its something

that you never forget.. So we have done some serious talking that

maybe we could find a nice 2 story house..where we each had our

own space. I think that would work good.. Especially since my

knight seems to have gotten LOST! lol..

Well enough of this CRAP for tonite.. Im going to try to eat something

I maybe shouldnt its almost 8, I hate to go to sleep, when I do the

sooner it will be tomorrow another day closer to that horrible day on

Tuesday.. Lord , I dread that day, If I had legs and feet boy would I

just be kicking the daylights otta myself... I would do it for ya lol.. But

I do want to thank y'all for all the good advice and wishes and great

uplifting stuff trying to keep my spirits up, sure means alot to me.. I

have a question...dont anybody know a "special" lawyer here in this

GREAT state of Michigan?? HELPPPP lol... :-) Nitey Nite :-)

Remember its LovelyLittleLegs@gmail.com :-)

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? Luv ya...and thanks :-)

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~I'm Honest About It~

I have run into so many down looks and bad remarks that I did

something illegal. I did and..it is true..but Im being honest

about it, I never really ever did hide it..And I know alot of people

with disabilities do the same as me.. Only thing is I was dumb

enough to get caught..So now I have to pay the consequences,

whatever they may be.. One of which I am sure of is that I will

be evicted from here...But who is really innocent and NOT done

something.. speeding..had a drink and drove, took a pen, or

something home from work..who is totally innocent here? I do

know if I have to live in a cellar with my cats and we all eat cat

food the rest of our lives I wont go back to the HELLHOME..I

wont...I refuse to go back there...

Its really a shame though even in the privacy of my own home I

cant do what I want to do.. I dont ever leave this apartment.. I

do yes.. to go to the Doctor..and I guess now I will have NO

choice but to go out again on the 12th when I have to go to

court at 8:15 in the morning.. What an UnGodly hour. Raelynn

said she will take me.. I wonder how they expected me to get

there..THEN when I do get there I have to be fingerprinted...

so once they do that I guess it means I am charged..I dont

know how any of this works..and they sure dont tell you.

Go ahead and say it.. I did this all to myself.. I have said it at

least a million times, how could I be so careless to jeopardize

everything.. I know it.. I deserve what ever is gonna happen..I

just dont know where I will possibly be able to live without HUD

tho..I cant even begin to imagine what I can find, if anything..I

worry about my boys more than me.. Donnie said I can stay

with him..but.. he has a 3 level house.. I would not be able to

access but one floor of it. that wouldnt work..

I guess this is another unplanned restart.. I really think I need to

try to sell my things.. and then I dont have to worry about having

a bunch of stuff to haul around.. I Have some antiques that I

hopefully can sell.. IF I can get hold of that antique person I met

a long time ago..I know I wouldnt get near what they are worth

but I know to make a move I have to have rent money..at least

2 months worth..

I dont handle stress very well.. I honestly dont...I literally get sick. I

have been up now since 2 am this morning cuz I cant sleep.. I

dread the 12 th so bad I actually get Sick.. Nerves can do so

much to you. I thought this was all over after a month ..I still am

amazed they could take their time like this.. I had hoped it was

all forgotten..I sure was wrong...

Well I havent eaten but a little chili that Raelynn made last nite

and I guess I should eat..I sure am NOT hungry at all.. I bet Ive

lost 20 pounds this month with this up and down stress. So its

time to hit publish..and say Nitey Nite...

Y'all take care now Y'Hear? Luv ya..and thanks :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~I Made My Own Self Sick~

Well today, started out ok, I felt a little better, then Raelynn

went and got the mail, and I am sick as a dog again.. I cant believe
it but when I read that I have to be in court on the 12th of

this month at 8:15 in the morning.!.!.I got sick. A month later..
they send this.. not even a registered letter.. what if something

happened and I HAD moved.. they would have issued out a

warrant for me.. I am so totally amazed..Then I called the police

station and the officer that was in charge..is NO longer with

the city Police force... he left... I also had to call and make

special arrangements.. so that I dont have to make a special

trip down to the Police station to be fingerprinted they will do
that when I have to go to court..... I cant believe this crap..

Well This court stuff is the least of my worries.. now that this

has been filed.. I will automatically be evicted by HUD.. There

is NO way that I can stay here.. I talked to Chris today, and let

him see the court thing.. He told me once he gets this report

that I got.. that the HUD lawyers will automatically file to have

me evicted.. it will be up to a judge how long I will have.. THE
main issue is.. I will lose my HUD allowance for rent.. I shudder

to think of what I will find that I can afford... My rent is only $151.

a month now.. I will NEVER find a place that cheap that is a

even fairly decent place to live.. Plus I will have to come up with

a deposit and probably first and last months rent.. I will end up

a street person.. This is how it happens.. But I guess this was

my own fault, when you do something that is illegal ..you have

to be prepared to take the consequences.. I guess I believed

that former chief of police when he told me there would be no

more response calls to smell in the hall calls from here when I

talked to him before about this. They only responded because

it was the building inspector that called..and if they handnt..he

would have told on them.. Thats what I believe anyway..

Raelynn and her son Wayne have offered to help me pack.. They

are so good to me. She said she and Wayne will take me to

court too.. What if I didnt have her..LORD.. I would have to go all

by myself ~!~ I would never be able to get this stuff all packed.. I

dont even know who else to call .. I may call Becky ..well no I have

a new one..now.. Julia...shes very nice.. I may call her and see if

she can come by and maybe she may know who I can call to help

me pack.. I have a lot of stuff.. I wish I could just sell it all..then I

wouldnt have to worry about anything.. LORD. I just thought.. the

only place I could go would be back to the HELL HOME.. No- I

wont do that.. I dont care. I WONT...I'll live in 1 room first.. if I have

to.. I wont go anywhere like that.. This is SO NOT good.. And

DAMMIT.. I did it ALL to my own self.. say it.. I am.. I KNEW

better.. just didnt think I would get caught.. . . I thought what I did

in my own private house.. was private... guess not if its illegal..

so well.. play you pay... Life is a constant learning thing isnt it?

I just LOVE my life... lol... ya.. Im doing good aint i?

Well time to kick my own self in this big flat weeble butt of mine

and come up with a solution to this.. I had ALMOST believed

this wasnt gonna happen.. a month.. boy thats the state of MI

for ya... lol.. slow but sure... :-) well Im surely NOT feeling a

whole lot better.. and I have got a horrible headache... Say it

lol.. "a head like mine otta ache" lol.. Im off to try to find a

solution for all this crap.. Nitey Nite..

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? Luv ya.. and thanks... :-)

Always, Lois ****

Ps.. Any solutions.. let me know!!! :-)

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~Rough Nite Here~

Last nite was awful. I had a sick cat then I got sick.. I bet I made

a trip to the bathroom at least 10 million times.. I looked at the

time..and It was about every 2 hrs I was back in there, sitting on

the potty and throwing up into a pail I have in there.. Was a horrible

nite..But we made it.. :-)

My boy woke up about 10:30 and seems to be ok.. I have never

been so worried about a cat.. Dutch couldnt even walk straight

he kept falling over.. I think it may have been his ears.. He seems

ok today but hes not jumping and playing.. He seems afraid of

my bed now..I guess cuz he was so sick and I had him up there,

wrapped in my mink cape. I still am going to have him checked

by a vet.. something happen to one of these guys.. I would be

totally devastated.. they are like my ONLY company..

As sick as I was last nite and today, LB is sticking to me like glue.
I was in the bathroom and LB came up and sat on the arm of

my wheelchair..put his paw on my shoulder as if to ask me if I

was ok.. I havent been this sick in awhile..but I think its all like

Raelynn says.. my nerves from this past month have caught up

with me.. Its so scarey tho to be so sick and all by your self.. I

dont have the energy to even go out and fix anything to eat.. I

just want to sleep..and cant even do that for all the times I have

to drag myself into this chair then on to the potty..then back..

its NOT an easy thing.. specially when you dont feel good.. I

know how hard it was to do that even when I could walk and

have to get up and make a bathroom trip.. so doing this now..

dragging my big weeble butt on and off the bed is NOT an

easy thing...

I am sorry for the short posts ..but I just am not feeling well..

Raelynn said she may come over later..shes good company.

We are having a bad storm this evening.. thunder and all..I

hate storms.. hopefully by the time she gets here it will be

done.. She doesnt live very far from me..Im not sure where..

lol..by one of the rivers i know.. which one I have NO idea..

there are 3 rivers in this town.. I know one is the St. Joe..

but the other 2 I dont know.. lol.. no biggie..long as they dont

flood..and Im on high ground here anyway...

I have to go back to my bed.. we all made it thru another day,

and nite..although a few times last nite I had my doubts lol..

Not to worry.. this too shall pass .. I hope lol... time to say

Nitey nite..

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya and thanks.. :-)

ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~Early Post..Dutch Is sick~

Dutch is sick.. and I dont know what is wrong with my boy. I am
worried tho.. I just have no idea what is wrong with him.. Raelynn
came by today and she checked him...we dont know.. all he is doing
is sleeping... hes been asleep most of the day... After Raelynn left I
got to where I am not feeling that great myself..and decided that I
am going to post this short note..so I dont miss a day..and log off
for the rest of the day.. I am hoping that will help both of us..

We will be back tomorrow..but for today... its early..but
Nitey nite...

Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya..and thanks... :-)
ALways, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~My GrandMother~

This is an old photograph of my Grandmother, my Dads mother.. Her
name was Ruby Deliah. Isn't she just beautiful? This has to be a
wedding photo..as she has on rings. This is the only photo I have of her
in this, and she was very young, and the photograph was taken in the
town where she grew up..So I am fairly certain this is a wedding photo
and had to have been taken in the 1800's. as my dad was born in 1909,
and was the youngest of 4.I have the family tree I could look it up on
but the print is so small I need a magnifying glass to be able to read it..I
had one but its gone..My Grandfather traced the family tree all the way
back to the 1400? or way back then..took him 20 years to get all the
information...its so interesting as it gives the occupation of all the male
members of the family...what is really surprising is the number of

children they had.14, 15 ..huge familys.its such an interesting thing
to read..i enjoyed it. I remember my their 50th wedding anniversary.
was a huge deal..and my Grandmother was just as lovely then as she
was in this photo.. I wish I had a picture of the 50th..so you coul
compare..My grandmother I think was one of those Timeless Beautys
even with age she was lovely. Her hair was solid white when she died..
but just beautiful like her..

I remember her teaching me how to crochet and knit..she would gently

guide the yarn for me..I watched as her hands just seemed to know

exactly what to do without even looking at them..She'd done this most

of her life..and made so many lovely things that I still have..Her tatted

handkerchiefs are just beautiful..I have so many things of hers and my

mothers..they were both so very talented, and I have many things that

they made.

It was amazing when I shut off my computer last nite, the feeling I had, it was one of..well..I had just told everyone good nite and I had shut my self off from the world..Was a strange feeling...Although everyone I know lives in this machine. I dont know anyone else here, I know Penny next door, but not really, that I would say we are close friends, but ive known her since the day I moved into this building. Donnie lives about, well I honestly dont know how far in miles..I know would take him maybe 15 minutes if that to get here, then that depended on traffice and time of day..so..hes not far tho..but I very seldom see them, we talk on the phone more, just to keep checks on each other. Updates more or less, like I do with my sister..If we dont see each other in a week or so one of us is calling.. I should call Jennifer and see how shes doing.. She may have a rough go ahead and I hate to see that coming. I worry about my sister alot..She has so much trouble with her legs, she does not walk very well now, and I really worry about her. She is strong tho, more so than me I think.. wasnt for her, I dont think I could have gone through all I did..She kept telling me,"Come on Lois, you can do this" I can hear her telling me that so many times, even though I knew she wasnt right there saying it...I heard her... Right now, I can hear my fridge calling me to find some food lol..I havent eaten today and as you see this post is early. Im gonna post and then just do nuthin the rest of the day but watch tv and just relax. and of course EAT lol...The boys are off and running to the kitchen and I am gonna be right behind them..Nitey Nite.. Y'all have a good one now Y'hear? luv ya..and thanks... :-) ALways, Lois..****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..

~SAT DAY~

Well that is all I did ALL day today and made it a real SAT

DAY lol.. I just sat ALL over my SAT.lol... I did get my Inbox

cleaned out and I went thru my style box on my Incredimail.

now, THAT is a Major job, let me tell ya.. But I enjoy it..and

it works really well for me.. I have 5 different email accounts

that all filter thru there. It makes it easier than having to go to

each one of them.. Only one that wont work in it is Yahoo

mail..and I very seldom get mail in that address, the LLL addy

is best to use and my main one...Alot of people are starting

to use Incredimail because its so easy and really great to

use... I like it better than Outlook.. alot better ...

The boys have been fighting really bad lately and I have NO

idea why..they both start it..and they get really mean..Ive seen

the teeth and some of the slaps they take at each other I know

they are not kidding. Then other times they will spend just

grooming each other and get along just fine... Kids I guess its

how they are no matter what kind they are..lol...

Our leaves are already starting to change, I can see trees down

on the other side of the church, where did summer go? I KNOW

all the school kids are saying that same thing. Pretty soon we

are all gonna say, "i'm going to get a head start on Christmas

this year"..then 3 days before you will be remembering THIS

day when You thought it just like I will lol. Time flies when your

having fun... I guess thats true..has it been fun tho? lol.. yeah...I
can say for the most part it has..what I can remember anyways

lol...some scarey but..oh well I think you need those times so

you appreciate the good times more dont ya think? I do...how

else do you have anything to compare it to? lol..

I havent eaten anything today and I think I will make my special

treat since it is the weekend, and being a holiday I think I can

have them lol..They are good..and I just replaced the crisco in

my deep fryer so..they WILL be great fries lol..Time to find

the publish button and say Nitey Nite..

Y'all have a good one Y'hear ? Luv ya..and thanks .. :-)

Always, Lois ****

God Bless you is my prayer today,

I'm so honored to call you "friend";

I pray the Lord will keep you safe

until I write again..